On the eve

I spent the weekend on the boat. It was just what I needed. I explored an old fort in the harbor that is abandoned. Climbed up to the top and walked around to get a magnificent view. It was peaceful, wild and interesting. The fog was rolling in on and off on Saturday and Sunday. It was hard to get to the mooring on Saturday afternoon because of fog.

Today I came home, got a shower and changed clothes and went out to light some firecrackers. I had a few left over from July 4 celebration. It was just enough to be festive. We then went downtown for dinner and walked around for a while but there were so many people, mostly drinking and partying, that we came back home. I never was much into New Year's parties.

Hope that whatever you are doing that you are safe, fulfilled, and hopeful.

Challenges

This has been one of those days that I needed to start over several times.  It's been a good day alternating with one that has really had its down moments.  

This morning I went into work for a few hours to get some paperwork done.  It was a ghost town. I left and went to run some errands.  I ended up at the beach later in the afternoon, walking on this warm day wondering about the nature of relationships.  Sometimes it's best not to think too much on that subject.  

Life can be as complex as we want to make it I guess.  Today I thought too much about things that I am powerless over and can't fix.  I would like to think that tomorrow I'll quit wondering about what makes other tick and just focus on my own state of being.  

Staying in the Day

Today was warm and sunny bright.  I went down to the boat, installed a barometer, thermometer, and hydrometer on board.  And took a nice cozy nap in the early afternoon.  I have felt lazy and relaxed today.  I know that I can't get too used to waking up at 8 AM and taking naps in the afternoon because next week it will be back to work again.  

But just for today I'm enjoying my free time.  I'm postponing the inevitable of having to get back into the grind of reports and budgets.  Best to think about that on the day that I hit the door and drive into work.  

Before Al-Anon I would be worrying about everything.  Waking up at 3 AM to jot notes to myself.  I'm glad that I worry less, have more fun, and let things go that used to obsess me.  Today I'm thankful for:

• Another day to have a chance to be walking around, relatively carefree
• Being able to say that I don't hate or have a major dislike for anyone
• Trusting that there is a plan for this world in spite of assassinations, terrorism and other craziness
• Having a job to go back to when my vacation is over
• Taking naps that are so pleasant that they almost taste good.

Hoping that you are enjoying your day and staying in it with gratitude. 

Replacements

I replaced the stolen gifts today.  It was like a riot out there with people returning gifts, taking advantage of sales and other day-after things that people do.   I just wanted to get in and get out to replace those gifts that had been stolen.  

We talked to the police this morning and reported the stolen gifts.  Now, I'm ready to let go of all this and just get back on track.  I'm not dwelling on this anymore.  My wife thankfully had a few AA friends over this evening for dinner.  Then they left to go to a meeting.  It was a relief to see her happy and enjoying her friends.  

My father-in-law had trouble setting up the DVD that we gave him for Christmas so I left after dinner to go set that up for him.  He was pleased and I left him watching a movie.  It made me feel happy just to see him enjoying the comfort of his home.  

So things are back on track.  I'm going to take tomorrow and Friday off.  I have the time coming and decided that I want to relax and take some extra annual leave before heading back to work. 

Hope that each of you is rested and relaxed.  I'm heading to that state of mind myself. 

Christmas Day

Today I learned that the thief took several of the Christmas presents that had been wrapped and under the tree.  Thankfully, I didn't learn about it until after Christmas dinner when my wife discovered that a gift to her mother was missing, and I remembered a sweater that I had wrapped for my wife and it too wasn't there. 

I would like to say that this didn't affect any of us but that wouldn't be true.  I am dealing with it but feel that learning about the stolen gifts brought back all the feelings from Friday when I learned that the rings had been stolen.  I'm sure that I'll deal with this latest insult okay.  But having to call the police again is just another agitation.  I am wondering now what else I'll discover to be missing.  

I need to get to a meeting for sure.  I need to get my mind off this whole thing and focus on something that is good, happy and peaceful.  

I hope that each of you had a wonderful day.  The day itself is still wonderful no matter the circumstances that interjected themselves into it.   

Christmas wishes

It's Christmas Eve which has always been a special happy time.  It's still that way today.  I can remember all the anticipation as a child.  The excitement about Santa building.  The curiosity that would come over me.  Thinking about reindeer and whether Santa would get down the chimney.  Whether I'd get switches and coal which my father promised if I was bad.  I'd hear stories of his childhood where he got candy and an orange for Christmas.  I'd feel so bad sometimes that I'd cry because I couldn't imagine a Christmas with so little.  

Now I can't imagine why there is so much under the tree.  And I understand that I am fortunate but that it's not about material things.  The excitement is still there.  The anticipation still swells inside of me.  But I realize that I can be happy without material things, glad without receiving, and grateful for just being.  

So on this Christmas Eve, I'm wishing for you a magical feeling that brings out the meaning of Christmas for you, whatever it may be.  I wish you glad tidings and great joy.  And that inner peace will fill you with the spirit of the God of your understanding. 

Doing okay

Nothing new about the robbery.  Just been going over stuff in my head but decided that I am powerless over it all.  It's out of my hands.  Thanks to all for your comments.  I had already decided that revisiting and speculating were examples of insanity.  So in light of that I went out on the sailboat for the weekend.  

Being on the water and in the boat is a special place for meditation and relaxing.  All the cares and things that make for stress are magically on hold.  It's a great mood enhancer.  

I'm still looking forward to Christmas and feel happy.  And I made my amends to the fellow on Saturday.  It was a lukewarm response but not entirely unexpected.  It's okay because I felt a big burden lifted from me.  I've made my amends and can move on now.  I'm thankful for the program that has taught me so many things, not the least of which is:

• that I can be happy no matter how crazy things are around me
• that I make amends for myself, regardless of what the other person thinks or says
• that no one said life was going to be smooth sailing but I've got a good chart to get me to safe harbor anytime I need one
• that being loved and expressing love are flip sides of a great gift from the HP
• that I only need to mind my business not that of another 

Robbed

I didn't make the amends today because I discovered that we had been robbed.  Basically this is what happened.  The finish carpenter who did the trim work when the house was built has been working on the library cabinets and trim on and off for over a year.  He is a guy that we have known for over 15 years and who we trust.  He is an alcoholic who went dry (by white knuckling) and never went into AA.  He also has prostate cancer and has been getting treatment for that. 

Anyway, R. decided to bring his 14 year old grandson with him to help carry cut pieces of trim up and down the stairs and just generally have him along.  The kid is very quiet and shy.  They worked on the trim Thursday most of the day.  

Yesterday morning, I went up to the former master bedroom upstairs because the phone had been off the hook on Thursday when I called.  It was odd because it rang twice and then sounded as if someone had knocked the phone over. From then on I couldn't get anything but a busy signal.  When my wife got home, she found the phone off the hook and lying on the bed in the upstairs bedroom.  

The cat was with me and she was crying and ran into the passageway to the adjoining bathroom and closet area.  I looked and both doors to the closet were open which is odd.  When I switched on the light, the safe door was open and there were boxes of jewelry on the floor, some spilled over.  I called for my wife who came up and inventoried everything only to find that my mother's wedding ring, and three other rings that she inherited were missing.  The safe door had been shut but the dial not spun because my wife didn't want to look up the combination all the time. 

I knew that R. and his grandson were the only two people in the house yesterday.  I called R. and told him what happened.  He said that he was surprised but that his grandson couldn't have done that.  However, he called the grandson and talked to him.  The grandson denied it.  So I called the police.  Two officers came over, R. and the grandson and the step father of the kid came over.  The police took statements and got fingerprints off the safe.  

R. said that the kid cried when confronted.  He also tried to convince me that someone came down a mile long dirt road, sneaked in the house while they were hammering and sawing, went upstairs, took the phone off the hook and then opened the safe and took the rings.  I may be a believer but I didn't believe that cock and bull for a second.  

What bothers me the most is now I feel as if I can't trust this man.  I think that R. is covering for the kid.  The kid seemed absolutely flat emotionally.  He had four chances with the police to confess, with us saying that we wouldn't press charges if the rings are returned.  My wife and I just want our property back--we don't want revenge.  The kid never budged, never was indignant, just flat in affect.  I think that he did it, and that R. is covering for his grandson, probably telling him to not say anything.  Just a gut feeling that I have. 

Anyway, the police have turned this over to a detective since the value of all the rings was around $25+ thousand.  It's a felony.  The fingerprints are being analyzed.  My wife and I are trying to be positive and hoping that the property is returned.  I have my doubts.  The hardest thing for me is that I feel the loss of trust.  But I'm going to do my best to keep Christmas in my heart.  It's literally a moment to moment thing right now.  

Another amends

It's time for me to make amends to a friend with whom I've basically not been around much over the past year.  We used to be close and do quite a few things together but since I told him about my wife being an alcoholic and our marital difficulties, he's distanced himself quite a bit. 

I talked to him today and said that I'd like to drop by to wish him a Merry Christmas and drop off a gift from my wife and me.  He said that he didn't get us anything this year because he was "cutting back" and to not feel "obligated" to bring him anything.  I explained that we didn't feel obligated but wanted to bring him something.  After inventorying my feelings, I decided that it was time to make amends and just accept whatever comes from doing that.  My amends basically are that I expected too much from the friendship and am sorry that I did so.  My expectations were that the friendship would weather the stormy period of the last year.  Now I realize that the friendship isn't the same as it once was which I'm okay with.  I'm also okay with whatever he has to say to me.  It's just time to make peace with myself.   

It feels right to be doing this.  I was wondering when the time would feel right.  It will be a relief to me. 

Delicious Dish

This is an old one but really funny(It might take a few seconds to load). Just feel like posting something humorous today.  I'm wrapping presents this morning and then going to try to find a small outdoor tree for Compass Rose later today.  I'm definitely in the spirit. It is fun to help in the kitchen and do some cookies for meetings.  I'm not planning to serve any Schweddy Balls this year though. 

Today I'm grateful for:

1. Getting a call from a friend this morning who wanted to hear my voice

2. Having a few days off to relax and enjoy Christmas

3. Being able to be politically incorrect and say Merry Christmas

4. Wrapping gifts by the fire

5. Getting with the rowing team to go Ro-Ho-Ho-ing tonight

Cold and frosty morning

There was frost all over this morning. The fields were covered in icy crystals. I got up early to walk the dogs. They seemed to love the cold. I don't mind it either as long as I have on a coat. The drive into work was nice with the rising sun reflecting off the ice. It's days like this that make me happy. It finally is beginning to feel like Christmas.

Work is starting to wind down towards the holidays and a lot of people are already taking off. I like it here when it's quiet and not so busy. It gives me time to do my work without interruptions. I know that things will be different after the first of the year when my main technician takes another job. Yet I'm okay with all of that. I've gotten by in the past and the work will go on. Hiring people isn't the most fun but I'm sure that I'll find a good replacement.

I'm going down to Compass Rose tonight before my 8 PM meeting. I've got cookies for the meeting. Just a surprise for a bunch of hungry Al-Anoners. Tis the season......

Forgiveness

Last night's meeting topic was forgiveness. One of the members shared that it was hard for her to forgive her alcoholic mother. She loved her mother but had a hard time forgiving her and now needed to do so.

What I've learned is that I first need to forgive myself. Until I forgive myself for the things that I have done and my attitude, then I harbor resentment, guilt and contempt that poison my relationships with others. Working through my fourth step helped me realize how much anger, judgment and guilt I was carrying over in the decisions that I had made in my life.

I never realized how much I hated myself and blamed myself for the things that had happened in my past. I see now that many were out of my control. So I now realize that my parents, and the alcoholics in my life were doing what they did with what they had. In order to forgive myself, I needed to understand how I had no boundaries, why I rescued and was sympathetic to everyone but me.

So I'm learning to forgive myself for my issues, for my childhood, and for expecting myself to be superhuman. In my heart, I have forgiven others. I realize that we each have our own problems and that I am not God. I forgive from the heart and through deeds of love. The steps have been a great way to work on forgiveness. And this is a process that I'll be doing for a long time.

Cold at last

The weather turned cold and very windy on Saturday evening. I went to a Christmas concert, meeting up with my sponsor. The seats were literally front row which turned out to be interesting because of being able to see just about everything the violinists did as well as the conductor, harp player and percussionists. It really helped to get in the Christmas spirit to hear carol favorites.

The 40 knot winds that kicked up kept me close to port, but I still spent time on Compass Rose. She was safe and dry in her slip at the marina. It was one of the few times that waves were crashing over the sea wall.

I have gotten all of my Christmas shopping done. Wrapping a few dozen presents is the last thing to do. The tree is up and the house decorated. I have to say that all the coziness makes me want to stay home and just enjoy a fire and a good book. There's always something about the period from Thanksgiving to Christmas that turns me into a kid again.

I remember when I learned that Santa Claus was a bit suspect. I would lie awake on Christmas Eve listening for reindeer and wondering if Santa could get down the chimney. Eventually, I'd fall asleep, but as I got older it got harder for me to fall asleep. So one year when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I heard my parents whispering and going up and down the stairs. From then on I guessed the Santa theory didn't add up. And eventually I started to snoop around and find things under beds and at the rear of closets. I remember when I found some gifts that I wished I hadn't. From then on, I stopped snooping and to the this day don't want any hints about what anyone has gotten me. I guess I prefer to revert back to childhood thoughts that it's all magic. And maybe it is.

Tradition Twelve

Tradition 12
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

We've talked some about Tradition 12 in our various meetings this month. It seems to be important for a number of reasons. First, it's important because it not only protects me but it also protects the program. We've discussed how it's possible that the program would be hurt if individuals touted that they are in Al-Anon and yet failed to live their recovery in their daily life.

It's also about humility. No one need be treated special or as someone's HP because when that occurs it is a certainty that the human who is deified will demonstrate clearly that they are not the God of my understanding. This means that we are all equal at a meeting. No one person's hurt is greater than another and no one's wisdom is greater than another. Essentially, we leave "what we are" at the door and walk in as "who we are". How much education you have or how successful you are or how rich you are has no bearing on what you can get from or what you can contribute to the program. I like what the AA long form of Tradition 12 says:

"And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all."

I've seen egos on parade at a few meetings. And I've seen people hurt by personalities taking precedence over principles. What this tells me is that if we are busy giving advice and not listening or busy arguing with each other, who then is concentrating on recovery? If we are busy gossiping, judging, or setting ourselves up as someone's HP, who is missing our experience, strength and hope? Maybe a good thing to consider about Tradition 12 is that if I am humble, then I won't be too full of myself, will keep gratitude in mind and actually T.H.I.N.K.

T houghtful
H onest
I ntelligent
N ecessary
K ind

What are you bringing to a meeting?

Since coming to Al-Anon, I've learned that it's important to participate. I've gone to meetings where I didn't actually feel like saying anything, yet I most always share something. It may not be brilliant or profound but I seem to feel better if I speak up and share what I'm thinking.

So I think that what I bring to a meeting is just as important, sometimes more so, that what I get out of the meeting. I've heard people comment that they didn't get what they wanted at a particular meeting. That makes me think "What are you bringing to the meeting" or "why don't you come to the meeting and help make it be what you would like it to be?"

Listening is important and is something that I do a lot of at meetings. But sharing on the topic, even when it's hard, is another route to recovery.

I do not know what course of action is right for anyone else. I can offer only comfort and compassion, and the good example of my life I am trying to build. ......One Day At a Time, p. 57

Christmas shopping

I have managed to get most of my Christmas shopping done.  I have found that ordering presents on line has really helped.  I don't feel rushed or in a panic about any of this.  Wrapping hasn't occurred yet but I'll get that done over a couple of evenings this week.  

To be honest, I seem to look forward to the celebration of Christmas rather than all the trappings of it.  I think that so much of it is overdone and the commercialization is definitely not what it's about for me.  I think that if Christmas could be more like the feeling that I have about Thanksgiving, it would be ideal.  I can't help but think about the real meaning of Christmas and it doesn't have anything to do with all the things that you see in stores or all the airblown Santas in yards.  

Nonetheless, I've done my part for the economy this year.  And I'm actually beginning to feel more in the holiday spirit.  The Christmas Symphony is on Saturday and I think that will definitely be a nice event and always festive.  And I'm going to put a few lights up on Compass Rose so she looks a bit jaunty for the holiday.  

Last night we decided to have the Christmas night Al-Anon meeting as scheduled.  There were 30 plus people there.  It was a good meeting with lots of new faces.  I'm glad that we will be meeting as it seems that most people aren't looking forward to the holidays.  I guess that I'm feeling as I usually do: glad for some time off, thinking about the real meaning of the day, and not worrying about much of anything.  And trying to recapture that childlike wonder from years past.  

Thoughts for the day

The party last night was nice. There was plenty of food and the speakers were good. Although I thought about skipping the whole thing because I was tired and in somewhat of a funk, I realized (thankfully) that the time to go to something like an AA/Al-Anon Christmas party is when you don't feel much like being at a party. I'm glad that I went.

Here is something that I heard and thought that I'd share. It helped put things in proper perspective for me.

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

Moody Monday

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm back at work after a great weekend. Or maybe it's that today is my dad's birthday and some sadness that he is no longer here. And then it could be that I learned this morning that one of my favorite employees has decided to take another position that is a step up (who can blame her?). At any rate, I'm struggling to stay focused on my gratitude and not slip into feeling down and out.

I am grateful for having a wonderful weekend that I shared with the person I love. I'm grateful for all the birthdays that I spent with my father before he died. And I'm grateful for having had a great employee for 7 years who has been an asset not only to my department but to the agency as a whole.

I guess that I like the certitude in things. I don't like to think about losses or endings. I've never liked to change houses, change jobs, or do any of the many other things that involve ending something and moving onto something else. I must be a creature of habit. Or I must have fears that stem from losing someone or something. I know the latter is true because of my Fourth and Fifth Steps. The truth is I miss people when they leave.

I do have an AA and Al-Anon Christmas party to go to tonight. It should be good. I'm just doing my best to think gratitude and not sorrow.

Livin' on Tybee Time

This weekend was a lot of fun. We left Friday for Tybee Island. We stayed at the Outdoor Inn which is a B & B overlooking the marsh and located next to Sea Kayak Georgia. It's a great place to stay and like last year, there was no one else staying there.

Tybee is an offbeat beach community. It's laid back and has a down home feeling. I especially like the lighthouse. It has a glorious view and there is generally an open house and candlelight tour in which the lighthouse is open at no charge to the public. And then there is the Tybee Christmas parade on Saturday which reminds me of the small town parades that I witnessed as a child. Nothing sophisticated or fancy in this parade but it was really touching to see so many happy people, especially children.

So we took in the parade, the lighthouse, read and walked on the beach and also toured Ft. Pulaski. It was beautiful weather and a happy time. Not once did I feel anything but peace and happiness. And I didn't miss work or my computer. Sometimes it's nice to not have a schedule and experience just being.

Marina Party

Tonight was our marina party. It was nicely done with different eras represented in different parts of the host hotel. There was a good reggae band playing and lots of seafood of all kinds. I ran into a couple that I know and the wife was totally smashed. She was hanging all over me which was okay for a bit but then I started to feel uncomfortable. It's the second time I've seen this woman drunk. I guess that there's a chair waiting in the rooms for her eventually. Although I've learned to detach there is still a bit of fear in me when I see someone completely wasted. It's a deja vu experience I suppose.

Tomorrow I head down to Tybee Island for a long weekend. It's one of my favorite places to visit that's reasonably close by. This is the weekend for the Tybee Christmas parade and open house at the Tybee Lighthouse. I hope to get a lot of photographs.

Hope to catch up with everyone's blogs in the next day or so, Until then....

Lowering expectations

I enjoyed the meeting last night. I didn't exactly get the nap that I'd planned but opted to get a little Christmas shopping done. Then it was off to the meeting. The topic was gratitude.

The person who brought the topic talked about being grateful that his son who is an addict and an alcoholic showed up for Thanksgiving. The son is in the process of wandering around the country by hopping freight trains. He showed up for Thanksgiving with a couple of friends who were described as "having enough metal pierced in their faces to look like a Cadillac grille". The son was sporting a stand up Mohawk. Evidently, no one had bathed in over a month.

The dad who led the meeting said that he was just grateful to have his son home. He did ask them if they wanted to shower and was grateful that they decided to do so. He was glad that his son and his friends had Thanksgiving at home, and were comfortable sharing the food with some elderly relatives who were conservative and born again.

And what the dad shared was that when his son left, he told his father that he loved him and appreciated being able to come home and bring his friends. He also said that he hadn't used in six months but was getting drunk every day. And the dad said that he was grateful that his son wasn't drugging. He said that he had learned to lower his expectations to the floor and just be grateful that his son was alive on that day, in spite of active alcoholism. He allowed that without the program, he would have had an entirely different reaction--maybe a bit like what's in the video.

It's good that we can be accepting and just be thankful for the fact that the people we love are alive. We may hate the disease but we still love the individual.

Catching up

Last night's meeting was a good one on Step 12. We talked about the various parts of this step such as having a spiritual awakening, giving back in order to keep what we have received, and practicing the steps in all aspects of our lives.

Tonight I go to another meeting but first I'll make a stop at my boat to take a nap. I'm really tired today, probably because of the weekend at the roundup and not having caught up on sleep. I like to stop by the boat on Tuesdays and crawl in the bunk to just relax. The marina is on the way to my meeting at 8 PM and sometimes I just get a nap before that meeting. I think that I'll do that tonight. I'm hoping that the sunset is as spectacular tonight as the one that I saw last evening. God was definitely showing off.

Today I'm grateful for:
1. Having had a spiritual awakening when I thought that my spirit had been broken

2. A cool crisp day that seems seasonal

3. Getting a lot of cards from friends at one of the groups I attend

4. A chance to catch up on some sleep for at least an hour before my meeting tonight.

5. Talking to my HP this morning on my knees and feeling calmed by that.

Sandlapper impressions

The Sandlapper conference was great. The Al-Anon speaker Susan K. from Jacksonville was moving yet had a great sense of humor. I found myself with a tear in my eyes one moment, yet at the next moment I'd be laughing out loud. She read the powerful letter from the Al-Anon pamphlet "3 Views of Alcoholism". I've included it here:

"I am an alcoholic. I need your help.

Don't lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having TB or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too.

Don't pour out my liquor; it's just a waste because I can always find ways of getting more.

Don't let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad opinion of myself. I hate myself enough already.

Don't let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent. My sense of guilt will be increased, and you will feel resentful.

Don't accept my promises. I'll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them every time.

Don't make empty threats. Once you have made a decision, stick to it.

Don't believe everything I tell you; it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I'm likely to lose respect for those I can fool too easily.

Don't let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without dimension of justice.

Don't cover up for me or try in anyway to spare me the consequences of my drinking. Don't lie for me, pay my bills or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you provide an automatic escape for the consequences of my drinking.

Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me. Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members. They're the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.

I love you,

Your alcoholic"

Saturday's AA speaker was Tom I. from Southern Pines. He was an engaging speaker who I've listened to before. He had a lot of gems that he shared. He spoke about his time in prison by saying "The first place I felt freedom was in a maximum-security penitentiary. It was the first place I felt decency, integrity, and worth." After release, Tom went on to the highest command a state penitentiary ever rewarded to a former inmate. He said, "Miracles happen. Miracles happen when preparation meets opportunity, and God intervenes. If you do the work, the walls come down."

I spent some time on Saturday walking on the beach between speakers. The weather was great and since it was the off season, there were few people on the beach. I'm not a fan of developed areas but it was nice to get outside and go for a walk and at least see the ocean.

Sunday morning's AA speaker was Paul A. from Cheltenham, MD. He spoke without reservation of being an alcoholic who beat his wife, frightened his children, and was a skid row bum. He and his wife celebrated 50 years of marriage. And he went from being on the verge of death to having 35 years in the fellowship. He also shared a lot of gems and spoke from the heart.

Aside from the inspiration of the speakers, what I took away from this conference was the sight of a lot of happy people. Not even the 1:30 AM fire alarm and hotel evacuation on Sunday morning could dampen spirits! It was a fun time but most of all it was inspiring.