tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post1448247142550687785..comments2024-02-05T11:32:25.407-05:00Comments on I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: Being hookedUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-82237138222882103272009-05-22T10:22:46.044-04:002009-05-22T10:22:46.044-04:00Truly profound realizations hon. I wondered more o...Truly profound realizations hon. I wondered more often than not why I remained ensconced within my own misery and abuse (mine was physical as well). It wasn't until 6 years ago that I learned, in order to break the pattern I had to change my thinking and learn a new way to live. Up until that point I didn't know how to live differently.<br /><br />These days I understand love doesn't come at the end of a fist and I don't have to drown to try to feel human. You can't expect things to change if you never change your behavior or the circumstances. (Hugs)IndigoSage Ravenwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17143502548162174269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-40376617504396073192009-05-21T16:17:07.512-04:002009-05-21T16:17:07.512-04:00This spoke right to my heart. How alike we all ar...This spoke right to my heart. How alike we all are...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07676848731907647621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-74252963306392587592009-05-20T21:57:43.527-04:002009-05-20T21:57:43.527-04:00I too chose a fixxer-upper for a partner and was t...I too chose a fixxer-upper for a partner and was then of course the martyr when he finally left me.<br /><br />Today I can see all the truths of that relationship just the way you outlined them...thank God for growth and another chance.<br /><br />I am in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man who loves me and shows me and tells me often just how much.<br /><br />But his love and attention are no replacement for the love I feel from my Higher Power, my friends and sponsor and most importantly myself.<br /><br />Your post has healing power, thanks for passing it on!A friend of Bill W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03375504946168083959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-84990806182201661332009-05-20T20:48:15.115-04:002009-05-20T20:48:15.115-04:00Excellent post!Excellent post!Pammiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00513814300181006348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-88393790435447160142009-05-20T14:51:10.127-04:002009-05-20T14:51:10.127-04:00I am really glad for you, Syd. One day I want that...I am really glad for you, Syd. One day I want that sort of relationship for myself, but right now, I just want peace and solitude. That will be enough for now.<br /><br />Love you,<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-39247380976853634022009-05-20T14:38:38.949-04:002009-05-20T14:38:38.949-04:00Excellent insightful post. Do you think we gravit...Excellent insightful post. Do you think we gravitate towards each other for the very reasons you outlined. My first wife needed someone she could control by fear. It was only when the alcohol was removed that things started to go wrong as we no longer played the game.Findonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08029106119199508890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-57790732572761652402009-05-20T12:53:30.877-04:002009-05-20T12:53:30.877-04:00Someone wrote in some AlAnon literature the relief...Someone wrote in some AlAnon literature the relief they felt when they went to their first meeting and heard "it's OK to love an alcoholic."<br /><br />Up to that point she thought leaving was her only option.Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496172669599418214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-68046938255450792442009-05-20T12:36:23.620-04:002009-05-20T12:36:23.620-04:00Love this post Syd. And since you've already read...Love this post Syd. And since you've already read my blog for the day you know exactly why.Ginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11927048986907155785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-38834522733727310312009-05-20T12:02:24.987-04:002009-05-20T12:02:24.987-04:00this is a great message.I'm glad that I read it. I...this is a great message.I'm glad that I read it. I'm also glad that my wife is is not an alcholic stopped drink as a way to support me.<br />One must always be true to thyself.Mike Golchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14472496241893921107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-16425105023807884932009-05-20T11:59:53.212-04:002009-05-20T11:59:53.212-04:00i know what you mean, about being attracted to the...i know what you mean, about being attracted to the 'wrong' people and things. with me it was a kind of self-validation... you know, the kind that says 'see, you're not good enough, that's why you have xyz problem etc. etc' thankfully that's changed today.Shadowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999801833389058410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-8935905188880303122009-05-20T11:47:43.563-04:002009-05-20T11:47:43.563-04:00Wonderful post, I love your take on life, your ins...Wonderful post, I love your take on life, your insight and perspective. Makes things a bit clearer for me.Patrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10319146094340817808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-19065399899250985962009-05-20T11:00:48.288-04:002009-05-20T11:00:48.288-04:00...oh, the dance we do...
Thanx for sharing your ......oh, the dance we do...<br /><br />Thanx for sharing your insight and yourself here. Having been on both sides of that dance, I can't tell you how uncomfortable it makes me to relate to the past - even more so when I realize I would do the same thing all over again, left to my own devices and character defects...Ed G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15063291064985198651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-11188850083241093842009-05-20T10:42:26.445-04:002009-05-20T10:42:26.445-04:00Syd!!!
Your post today is something I have often ...Syd!!!<br /><br />Your post today is something I have often contemplated - why would I stay and endure all of that when others could easily - would have easily left...<br /><br />You hit the nail on the head - my husband had more issues than I thought I did - I could get lost in the fact that he had bigger problems and forget that I was from a terrible home, with a terrible mother...Wait. What?https://www.blogger.com/profile/16914656489970904052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-60760714206322195812009-05-20T10:29:42.821-04:002009-05-20T10:29:42.821-04:00A very interesting post Syd.A very interesting post Syd.Trailbosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10560979016510119034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-60917464930625623032009-05-20T10:05:14.265-04:002009-05-20T10:05:14.265-04:00What a wonderful post. I really commend you for be...What a wonderful post. I really commend you for being so open about yourself and your life. I wish that I had the courage to be as open as you are. It's really inspiring to hear about how you've made it through some hard times and found a solution. I know exactly how you feel and it's great to read about someone else's experience that I can really relate to. Thank you!positively presenthttp://www.positivelypresent.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-9772313106378399352009-05-20T09:20:11.825-04:002009-05-20T09:20:11.825-04:00Outstanding post!
Aching, waiting for that mors...Outstanding post! <br /><br />Aching, waiting for that morsel of love - how misery inducing! And it only makes us wait with anxiety for the next one rather than satisfying. What a great explanation of a major problem in crazy relationships.<br /><br />Thanks also for the great blog.<br /><br />Peace,<br /><br />Man AliveMan Alivehttp://alphabet819.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-56402987845596138392009-05-20T04:37:16.367-04:002009-05-20T04:37:16.367-04:00I grew up with an alcoholic mother I adored and fe...I grew up with an alcoholic mother I adored and feared and hated. The pattern of what is offered and then withheld, promised and then refused, is such a hard pattern to walk away from.<br /><br />xxMary LAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-59196130884712765262009-05-19T20:48:03.289-04:002009-05-19T20:48:03.289-04:00thank you for this post, Syd. it hits home hard f...thank you for this post, Syd. it hits home hard for me. luckily, as i continue to work this program, i am healing. it's a wonderful thing!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10095429272863719888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-24519766123389771712009-05-19T19:42:33.961-04:002009-05-19T19:42:33.961-04:00I know exactly how you feel. I was raised by this...I know exactly how you feel. I was raised by this person, though and learned all about life from this person. Today, I love this person but our relationship is challenging now. I am having to really get outside my comfort zone (uncover yet another layer of the onion). I feel better when I know I'm not the only one who has this stuff in their past. Thanks, Syd.<br /><br />NamasteAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128247878961221421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-51784946217849933512009-05-19T19:27:24.038-04:002009-05-19T19:27:24.038-04:00I think this is a dance that can be played whether...I think this is a dance that can be played whether one is involved with an addict or not. Good post, as usual.cedrorumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01124141793738653183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-18973761666121955272009-05-19T19:24:40.906-04:002009-05-19T19:24:40.906-04:00Its sounds so hard to be in a relationship, I thin...Its sounds so hard to be in a relationship, I think I am glad sometimes to be single.<br />I heard a guy sharing last night and he confessed when he was younger before being alcoholic it was his perfect vision of the future to live in his bedroom till he was forty.<br />I nearly did that if it wasnt for them 7 years I lived with the Ice Queen and got a son.<br />I dont feel in all honesty I would be good to live with.<br />On Monday a guy confessed to having had a spiritual awakening, this has never happened to me.<br />I find it so hard sometimes to connect with others that I get depressed, some days are good though and I never had any good days at all as a drunk.<br />Blimey gone on a bit there u just made me really think.Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16204327191044441383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-66308492350453355722009-05-19T19:21:12.188-04:002009-05-19T19:21:12.188-04:00Thanks for sharing those powerful observations abo...Thanks for sharing those powerful observations about your life and how you found your way. Incredible what we think we want and what we think is the way to get it.<br /><br />The good news is: there is a solution!Scott Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06361224878660334532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-89330180716715525892009-05-19T18:49:57.120-04:002009-05-19T18:49:57.120-04:00I always chose those with bigger problems than min...I always chose those with bigger problems than mine. Looking back, I think it made me feel gooder/wiser/bigger. I was afraid of someone that I couldn't look (lovingly) down on, I didn't feel in control. It doesn't make me feel good recognizing that. Those gut attractions go deep and I don't know if I could sustain a healthier relationship.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16238104201320280408noreply@blogger.com