tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post3109824488933931393..comments2024-02-05T11:32:25.407-05:00Comments on I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: Giving adviceUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-68348421095083201572015-01-06T17:52:05.464-05:002015-01-06T17:52:05.464-05:00Thank you for this. I am just starting my Al Anon...Thank you for this. I am just starting my Al Anon journey and I realized very recently that I do this. I'm working on changing that and I have to really make a conscious effort to reverse the behavior that has gotten me here. It also makes me feel sad that I have done that to someone I love very much. I'm learning a lot. Thank you for your blog, it helps!!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02125480750962405791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-90018001791059082712009-10-26T12:36:43.279-04:002009-10-26T12:36:43.279-04:00So true! So encouraging!So true! So encouraging!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-22069080220513108042009-10-25T09:35:56.242-04:002009-10-25T09:35:56.242-04:00thansk Syd for sharing that... It would seem that...thansk Syd for sharing that... It would seem that Al-Anon would be helpful to me in dealing with my sober wife (and probably helpful to her in dealing with me)... time to bust out the literature that's been collecting dust since my last foray into Al-Anon over 10 years ago.Scott M. Freyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588618061480681504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-12226253391727363502009-10-24T11:57:55.281-04:002009-10-24T11:57:55.281-04:00Shame definitely doesn't work.Shame definitely doesn't work.Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-8998780794836887402009-10-24T11:34:15.765-04:002009-10-24T11:34:15.765-04:00I'm still amazed how often someone outside the...I'm still amazed how often someone outside the situation, keeps expecting that cure all answer. There is no single answer that will cover all the different aspects of this disease. <br /><br />The best the father could do was say he was worried and cared. No blame, no shame, no or else threats. Simply be there and hope the message gets through. (Hugs)IndigoSage Ravenwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17143502548162174269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-56930303251538619762009-10-24T11:04:47.206-04:002009-10-24T11:04:47.206-04:00The addict/alcoholic already feels like a failure/...The addict/alcoholic already feels like a failure/useless person. <br /><br />Shaming has no place in any relationship, whether it be recovery or anywhere else.Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496172669599418214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-14589600262173662892009-10-24T10:49:54.337-04:002009-10-24T10:49:54.337-04:00It's the boundary setting and not accepting un...It's the boundary setting and not accepting unacceptable behavior that sometimes trips me up....Marciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09072868519236902423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-14297058706843630092009-10-24T07:54:21.621-04:002009-10-24T07:54:21.621-04:00Someday, that dad will have his own experience to ...Someday, that dad will have his own experience to share with others.dAAvehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10378341182741173178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-84190166617268626502009-10-24T07:53:16.950-04:002009-10-24T07:53:16.950-04:00Sometimes, I still "give advice" when I ...Sometimes, I still "give advice" when I should not. Before I can think something comes out and I haven't even realized it got there until much later.<br /><br />Thank God this program works and there are those who give the right answer.Jess Mistress of Mischiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14766848582303523764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-58751732665961672502009-10-24T06:14:32.912-04:002009-10-24T06:14:32.912-04:00Recently my wifes sponsor came up to me and said t...Recently my wifes sponsor came up to me and said that I needed to make my mind up whether I wanted to be in the marriage or not. Boy that set the fireworks off I can tell you. It nearly destroyed a marriage. I think you handled it well Syd, goes to show you're maturity.Findonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08029106119199508890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-4947394177803760132009-10-24T04:06:03.274-04:002009-10-24T04:06:03.274-04:00Ah, Syd, you make me think so hard! I don't li...Ah, Syd, you make me think so hard! I don't like giving advice any longer. But sometimes I do feel that it is important to confront denial, to speak up in truth. <br /><br />As you did when you asked that question. There is a responsibility in relationship to ask hard questions or disagree at times. It is never easy but sometimes it may open a window for someone stuck in a locked room.Mary LAhttp://louisey.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-32325402187681013992009-10-23T23:17:27.135-04:002009-10-23T23:17:27.135-04:00Absolutely brilliant post Syd, as usual you are ri...Absolutely brilliant post Syd, as usual you are right on target. Giving advice even when my E, S, or H it ius still advice; I like you try to steer clear and just speak to my own ... shame and guilt never really worked for me, either giving or receiving.<br /><br />Thank you..<br />GAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15127343815869529555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-63919415722160628772009-10-23T22:58:28.599-04:002009-10-23T22:58:28.599-04:00What a wise way to share your experience in a help...What a wise way to share your experience in a helpful way. A great (and very useful) post.Patrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10319146094340817808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-87458977458772189922009-10-23T20:35:45.361-04:002009-10-23T20:35:45.361-04:00The poor dad has a journey to begin. I think dads ...The poor dad has a journey to begin. I think dads typically believe that there's surely something that can be said to fix the situation.Anonymous :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14866852475568786172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-56705677935662990742009-10-23T18:17:48.889-04:002009-10-23T18:17:48.889-04:00Absolutely right! Shame and guilt never got me any...Absolutely right! Shame and guilt never got me anywhere - not receiving it or trying to give it.<br /><br />Great post. Sharing our E.S.and H. is the most effective way to help others.<br /><br />PGOne Prayer Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17455437909918314217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-12345362954608619672009-10-23T16:04:50.504-04:002009-10-23T16:04:50.504-04:00Syd, I learn SO much from you--and from PG, becaus...Syd, I learn SO much from you--and from PG, because she also is in your program, thank God.<br /><br />And thank you!<br /><br />Now if I can only DO what I am learning....<br /><br />PEACE!steveronihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17498524940140288735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-14368880015892326032009-10-23T15:35:27.847-04:002009-10-23T15:35:27.847-04:00Yep shaming sure does not work and def has the opp...Yep shaming sure does not work and def has the opposite affect.<br />Great post.<br />The father really needs an al-anon meeting..if he is ready to listen that is.Al-anon againhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03616757092632581596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-7154673470544821642009-10-23T15:14:17.372-04:002009-10-23T15:14:17.372-04:00Your timing is impeccable! On Monday I debated sen...Your timing is impeccable! On Monday I debated sending you a message asking you what made your wife get sober...hoping your answer would be something I could use for my husband. Normally a stay at home and hide in the house drunk, last weekend he attended a guys skeet shoot party and...well let's just say fortunately no one was hurt or killed...but people, including my 17 year old nephew, had to endure and see things I wouldn't wish on anyone. Out of anger I resorted to shame, but then I backed off. A few days later he expressed the desire for help. It seems genuine. He's going to a meeting tonight - Celebrate Recovery - I hope this is the program that does it for him. As he begins this process I need to remember this post. Thank you Syd!Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07228220362170417768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-29071901425694333932009-10-23T14:52:40.409-04:002009-10-23T14:52:40.409-04:00I kept thinking,who's shame is it? I love that...I kept thinking,who's shame is it? I love that you kept handing the ball back to him. Have a great weekend Syd! jeNNbig Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539934994452947108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-81512861381187838822009-10-23T13:38:09.331-04:002009-10-23T13:38:09.331-04:00I saw myself in your description of your "mor...I saw myself in your description of your "morning after" behavior towards the alcoholic. I liked your comment to the gentleman that "It never worked for me."<br />It didn't work for me, either, but I still used it as an emotional bludgeon, in my futile efforts to make my ex stop drinking.TAAAFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03607602088454891329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-85616229920028338002009-10-23T13:35:47.230-04:002009-10-23T13:35:47.230-04:00The question my sponsor usually asks that really g...The question my sponsor usually asks that really gets me honest is "What is your motive?" You asked it in a much nicer way!!<br /><br />I hope that person keeps attending and keeps calling. There is always hope...<br /><br />NamasteAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128247878961221421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-44134208369091829042009-10-23T13:11:32.496-04:002009-10-23T13:11:32.496-04:00What a great, and different, perspective......have...What a great, and different, perspective......have you ever done a post about what made your wife seek help? I would like to read about it.Chic Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01803588856685163353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-61071201123078780462009-10-23T12:49:33.690-04:002009-10-23T12:49:33.690-04:00Great thoughts and perspective.
Blessings and alo...Great thoughts and perspective.<br /><br />Blessings and aloha...Ed G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15063291064985198651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-32960847387273577652009-10-23T12:48:23.875-04:002009-10-23T12:48:23.875-04:00This is a really, really great post, Syd. Thank yo...This is a really, really great post, Syd. Thank you for sharing this because it really was what I needed right now.positively presenthttp://www.positivelypresent.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-45916237053027430192009-10-23T12:41:07.866-04:002009-10-23T12:41:07.866-04:00Nice post, Syd.
Have a great and relaxing weeken...Nice post, Syd. <br /><br />Have a great and relaxing weekend.<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.com