tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post6212856452822809121..comments2024-02-05T11:32:25.407-05:00Comments on I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: Are you a giver or a taker?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-51500549522732416032010-07-19T23:35:51.699-04:002010-07-19T23:35:51.699-04:00I guess my "take" on the topic is a litt...I guess my "take" on the topic is a little different. I do not believe the world is so divided. And I don't believe in the verbs. I believe in giving and receiving. I don't believe one is better than the other. I just think that if we are given something, the most enriching thing we can do is to find a way to pay it forward without expecting anything in return.Smittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12681768755769989964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-72251086979662488762010-07-10T22:26:34.727-04:002010-07-10T22:26:34.727-04:00I am grateful that I even "get" what you...I am grateful that I even "get" what you are saying about all of this! Doggy kiss! AWWWWW!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-64838060701740059522010-07-10T14:42:52.979-04:002010-07-10T14:42:52.979-04:00This is a wonderful post. I missed it, somehow, un...This is a wonderful post. I missed it, somehow, until Kim A. pointed it out. I also "gave" in a people pleasing way. Always with expectations, leading to quite a few resentments. But I was also a taker in a big way. Selfishness and self-will is my #1 character defect. God is beginning to remove it, little by little.Kathy M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17266701533758183054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-55349126434803510692010-07-10T09:33:43.495-04:002010-07-10T09:33:43.495-04:00Thanks, I thought I was giving unselfishly until I...Thanks, I thought I was giving unselfishly until I did my 4th step and found I was trying to suck everyone else dry. So self-righteous. The light bulb came on and I'm working on my expectations. The dogs are a wonderful example, they both look very content with their place in the world..serenity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-14724340243783894702010-07-10T08:52:20.801-04:002010-07-10T08:52:20.801-04:00I spent so many years whining and complaining abou...I spent so many years whining and complaining about all that had given and feeling resentful for all that I gave until I began working the steps and especially step four. Big surprise that I was not a giver at all. Opened my eyes and helped me to learn to see to my own needs and to know it is healthy for me to take care of me. I stopped resenting and let go of the past. Not to say that some things were definitely painful and even traumatic but I learned how to leave it in the past and live fully in the present. I like the way you write about being a giver or a taker in this post in a clear and unemotional way.CiCihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08615265608675467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-57617797201828332032010-07-10T02:28:38.610-04:002010-07-10T02:28:38.610-04:00Apologies for not being around for a while. It is...Apologies for not being around for a while. It is so difficult to just BE isn't, I have so many angles, edges even when I am giving its because I want something in return.Findonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08029106119199508890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-25386965935294165952010-07-09T22:03:51.647-04:002010-07-09T22:03:51.647-04:00Hi Syd -
I've been reading...but haven't ...Hi Syd -<br /><br />I've been reading...but haven't commented for a while. I thought I was the giver for many, many years but in reality I would take also. Now, it's more in balance. I usually give without expectations...well usually I expect a thank you...and I can take easily!Sherryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04217840617951902611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-79912166008173874902010-07-09T20:04:51.218-04:002010-07-09T20:04:51.218-04:00What a great post. Love the progression through yo...What a great post. Love the progression through your enlightenment. A wonderful achievement in your relationship. I know I'm still somewhere in the middle of your post, but you made it make so much sense.<br />God bless & thanks.Heather's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03323023399443964827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-23702314297585780572010-07-09T17:32:15.692-04:002010-07-09T17:32:15.692-04:00Thanks for this post Syd, very interesting. It'...Thanks for this post Syd, very interesting. It's amazing how looking at things differently mean a huge shift in our understanding.Chic Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01803588856685163353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-29010528965903628452010-07-09T14:38:38.752-04:002010-07-09T14:38:38.752-04:00Great post! Life long lessons for me as well.
Tha...Great post! Life long lessons for me as well.<br /><br />Thanks so much for stopping by my blog, by the way!~~BRB Queen~~https://www.blogger.com/profile/14076594460274713944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-69672972904194267652010-07-09T14:09:47.013-04:002010-07-09T14:09:47.013-04:00I've mostly been a giver in my life, but I giv...I've mostly been a giver in my life, but I give with an expectation of something in return which isn't right. I've given in hopes of getting some love, some appreciation, or some respect in return. And of course that rarely happens. It's a great post, and something to really think about. <br /><br />I also like Kim A's follow up post on her blog, so thanks for inspiring her as well.Tarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05869180495920803462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-91317598505137139132010-07-09T13:49:59.403-04:002010-07-09T13:49:59.403-04:00I was the giver and thought I had to please everyo...I was the giver and thought I had to please everyone... what I received in return was approval and admiration. I am learning to give without expectations, and to take time for myself. Insightful post, thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-4099863114984845842010-07-09T10:25:25.095-04:002010-07-09T10:25:25.095-04:00great observation today, and I love the photo espe...great observation today, and I love the photo especially. :)Jess Mistress of Mischiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14766848582303523764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-42587196385205428252010-07-09T09:34:51.407-04:002010-07-09T09:34:51.407-04:00I've always been a taker unfortunately. It'...I've always been a taker unfortunately. It's something I work on daily, I pray to do God's will. I want to give now, I want to give what I have. Thanks for sharing this Syd, it's a wonderful thought for anyone to ponder.Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03179856187132508469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-605486662921590362010-07-09T09:19:15.503-04:002010-07-09T09:19:15.503-04:00Syd,
I have mostly been a taker. I was a spoiled b...Syd,<br />I have mostly been a taker. I was a spoiled brat as a youngster--very doted upon. However, I believe I learned a lesson with my failed marriage. In my current relationship, I'm really trying to focus on making my partner happy. So far, I don't feel like I need recognition when I do this. He is a good guy, and it is mostly returned (give and take). I would like this relationship to last.<br /><br />Love you. Have a great weekend!<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-42272762437227293582010-07-09T07:08:58.398-04:002010-07-09T07:08:58.398-04:00Great post and topic. And that picture of the dogs...Great post and topic. And that picture of the dogs is just adorable. I love it!positivelypresenthttp://www.positivelypresent.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-76847034930485496372010-07-09T07:02:34.253-04:002010-07-09T07:02:34.253-04:00I am both a giver and a taker. I was told recently...I am both a giver and a taker. I was told recently that when I truly "give" something to someone, I should do it for "fun and for free" and let go of any expectation associated with it. still working on that... <br /><br />good post Syd.Marciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09072868519236902423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-58085946904700174762010-07-08T23:45:06.205-04:002010-07-08T23:45:06.205-04:00Interesting post... I spent most of my life being ...Interesting post... I spent most of my life being a giver, and at some point became enormously resentful about it and spent some years being a taker. So instead of the pendulum making small swings, it swung on a grand scale. Now I try to live mindfully, with discernment.Guineverehttp://guineveregetssober.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-42555717820597616322010-07-08T23:16:55.180-04:002010-07-08T23:16:55.180-04:00This was really good. The dogs are precious.This was really good. The dogs are precious.Bar L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11100008292699584336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-63515006767418745602010-07-08T22:16:18.208-04:002010-07-08T22:16:18.208-04:00I have to say that I'm a taker. I like to thi...I have to say that I'm a taker. I like to think that my awareness will keep from taking it over the top. I will say that when I AM generous, it is well received. Nothing is black and white.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16238104201320280408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-68112398878740652062010-07-08T22:10:54.007-04:002010-07-08T22:10:54.007-04:00What a perfect photo to illustrate your post! I s...What a perfect photo to illustrate your post! I struggled with the mental tally this past Christmas when I started evaluating what I got vs. what I gave and got resentful. How sick is that! LOL! So, still working on the giving without expectations...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-79394961705148300012010-07-08T22:09:49.165-04:002010-07-08T22:09:49.165-04:00This has been a life-long lesson for me and I thin...This has been a life-long lesson for me and I think it can be summed up by saying that no one loves a martyr. Believe me.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-40023137253303001972010-07-08T21:40:46.642-04:002010-07-08T21:40:46.642-04:00thanks syd...i needed to hear this tonight...i am ...thanks syd...i needed to hear this tonight...i am a giver as wel...but i can sometimes become resentful like that...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.com