tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post8318634236218154216..comments2024-02-05T11:32:25.407-05:00Comments on I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: RespiteUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-83070654523995662112012-02-18T18:46:46.139-05:002012-02-18T18:46:46.139-05:00It is true living with active alcoholism that burn...It is true living with active alcoholism that burnout lurks on the horizon if I don't work to take care of myself each day. I like what Craig shared; going and sharing in a meetings, calling my sponsor, reading, and most importantly keeping the constant contact with my HP. That balance is always evolving, never a dull moment. <br /><br />Glad your are able to give the caretakers some time off to help find their balance.Simply Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06966845919690118072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-58927389464771748932012-02-18T12:02:33.992-05:002012-02-18T12:02:33.992-05:00I love that you can leave the trials of life behin...I love that you can leave the trials of life behind and enjoy the steady voyage on an "old boat" ... just imagine all the tales of wondrous places and people that "she" could relate to you. (Sounds like you can hear her!)Ginniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12749133391349265563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-16399369809893388542012-02-18T11:44:44.675-05:002012-02-18T11:44:44.675-05:00Kudos for raising a delicate subject about caregiv...Kudos for raising a delicate subject about caregivers,Syd.There are laws that are supposed to protect those who have hired help.Then there are those whose family and friends share caregiver responsibilities.And indeed there is often a time of frustrations for many who are doing the caregiving.BUT there is never ever an excuse for abuse.If ever anyone suspects elderly abuse they are obligated to look further into it as far as I am concerned.Much like child abuse,elders too are helpless at times.As for balancing,yes of course,easy to forget but I hope your post here will remind anyone in that position.And thank you for posting.<br />As always.xoTabitha.Montgomeryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07462651710980805568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-63471873429395299872012-02-18T10:05:30.784-05:002012-02-18T10:05:30.784-05:00Did you ever read the biography of the husband and...Did you ever read the biography of the husband and wife who founded Readers Digest (in their spare time, in the basement)? It's called American Dreamers. They had no children, no family, and they died alone and abused by servants in a huge mansion filled with expensive art and antiques. This has nothing do you with your situation, I know you are an avid reader.<br /><br />I know you are a kind and responsible presence in the lives of your in laws also.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-89249820924500001082012-02-18T07:43:25.512-05:002012-02-18T07:43:25.512-05:00Yea, we all need a break for sure. I couldn't...Yea, we all need a break for sure. I couldn't imagine being a caregiver for the elderly or a medical professional. I just don't have tha special gift. I am grateful for those who do. There's just nothing better than an amazing nurse when you're hurting.ScottFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11823579464776499495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-27659545372433765252012-02-18T06:01:20.571-05:002012-02-18T06:01:20.571-05:00Burnout is almost a guarantee for those living wit...Burnout is almost a guarantee for those living with an active alcoholic. Sharing in Al Anon meetings, daily readings and turning it ALL over to HP has saved me. I am important!!! Movies, fishing, golf, walking ... have replaced isolation and despair even as my alcoholic is still drinking.Craignoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-1238347493667350922012-02-17T08:54:37.468-05:002012-02-17T08:54:37.468-05:00Elder abuse is something that is increasing and we...Elder abuse is something that is increasing and we don't have interventions in place for it. <br /><br />Although good people need respite, there are also bad intentioned people who abuse the vulnerable. I am sure you would know the difference.Mary Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08156474205414127488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-16827339607451653622012-02-16T22:38:35.860-05:002012-02-16T22:38:35.860-05:00I only need to borrow TAAAF's comment above - ...I only need to borrow TAAAF's comment above - that says perfectly what I have learned too.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-83677869103147247232012-02-16T20:17:44.998-05:002012-02-16T20:17:44.998-05:00"Keeping our pool filled" so that we can..."Keeping our pool filled" so that we can keep on giving, was what a counselor of mine used to call it. Abuse does happen but it is usually more by family members who are carrying all of the family baggage then by the paid caregivers. I mean that happens too but I have seen some scary stuff between family members...I have some stories! lol <br /><br />Great post Syd....and thank you for your comments on my blog. I always love hearing from you!Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18326425173333184401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-88356373984356531832012-02-16T18:31:57.461-05:002012-02-16T18:31:57.461-05:00Syd, this post was meant to be read by me. I have ...Syd, this post was meant to be read by me. I have two low-bottom drunks in my life, one also bi-polar (for real!) and other with huge (really!) physical ills. I did not ask for them.<br /><br />Within a week, I felt already my spirit sagging, and my life being drained away. And so I paid down some rules for ME! <br /><br />Willingness to help, and doing it, does not preclude my personal responsibilities being attended.<br /><br />God sent me these two guys for me to help, and sent Peeps like YOU to help me stay alive while doing it.<br />Thankful blessings to you.<br />Enjoy retirement!steveronihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010875412308487592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-32308497632193268842012-02-16T12:02:58.032-05:002012-02-16T12:02:58.032-05:00I no longer mistakenly view myself as an endless s...I no longer mistakenly view myself as an endless source of whatever someone else needs, but as a vessel, capable of being drained. I know I need time and space, to refill and rest.TAAAFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03607602088454891329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-13483923969414253952012-02-16T10:22:52.103-05:002012-02-16T10:22:52.103-05:00My daughter has been doing in-home health care for...My daughter has been doing in-home health care for almost five years. From the stories she shares with me it is a very difficult job, and it's a difficult situation from both sides. Allowing others to care for us can be just has hard. Smooth sailing, Syd.Let Go, Let Godhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02734821434596510493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-41471080328164446472012-02-16T10:12:46.654-05:002012-02-16T10:12:46.654-05:00Respite is a beautiful word.Respite is a beautiful word.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-21399928651044371812012-02-16T10:11:59.693-05:002012-02-16T10:11:59.693-05:00ugh i know that burn out...with all the counseling...ugh i know that burn out...with all the counseling i do you get it there as well...each week i see a psychiatirst to debrief and download from the week so that it does not happen...and periodically take that time off as well just to breath and relax...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-52282234355119406012012-02-16T09:58:32.458-05:002012-02-16T09:58:32.458-05:00Syd, my housemate works with community-based home ...Syd, my housemate works with community-based home care in disadvantaged communities here in South Africa and great emphasis is placed on sharing the load because working with those who are suffering dementia or terminally ill is exhausting.<br /><br />I also know from our shelter for battered women here in the village that many elderly female alcoholics are mistreated or physically battered by sober husbands and the same happens with elderly male alcoholics, often at the hands of angry adult children. <br /><br />It is highly problematic when a despondent and controlling codependent tries to take full responsibility for a late-stage alcoholic. The alcoholic often suffers far more than he/she would if they died in detox. Before they die, they are often neglected and poorly fed, don't receive good medical care for bruises or broken bones, are verbally abused and humiliated. The codependent may know at one level that the alcoholic at this stage is brain damaged and incapable of self-care but at another level the habit of punitive demanding and the expectation that the alcoholic should behave in certain ways leads to what we can only call sadism.<br /><br />A local court recently took away the wife's power-of-attorney for what the judge called mental cruelty. This is an extreme example of alcoholism as a family illness.Mary LAhttp://louisey.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com