tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post8831462727991302945..comments2024-02-05T11:32:25.407-05:00Comments on I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: No expectation holidaysUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-47024114149198238452010-11-23T20:47:38.184-05:002010-11-23T20:47:38.184-05:00it never ceases to amaze me, how God softens our h...it never ceases to amaze me, how God softens our hearts toward others. recovery just happens with persistent searching for God's Will in our lives. Syd, you're a shining example of that.Scott M. Freyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588618061480681504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-45158520093238254372010-11-23T14:16:02.008-05:002010-11-23T14:16:02.008-05:00Awesome story. I have some of my own. Love how you...Awesome story. I have some of my own. Love how you have learned to deal with this and the skills/tools you use to get through in a very postive, grateful attitude. Love that you see through their woundedness and have learned to love them still. This was inspiring. Thank you for the reminder. Happy Thanksgiving!!! JeanneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-39394660507269129602010-11-23T11:23:25.122-05:002010-11-23T11:23:25.122-05:00I heard in a meeting once that expectations are ac...I heard in a meeting once that expectations are actually resentments over in the corner doing pushups.Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08295794524135726030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-83268580791453874602010-11-23T10:12:07.908-05:002010-11-23T10:12:07.908-05:00Holidays were too scary when I was growing up so I...Holidays were too scary when I was growing up so I was either absent by being outside and as far away as I was able to be or I was mentally absent. Now I am living a quiet life with hubby and not near any family. We have each other. Every day. We will be thinking of you and C and some of the other bloggers we have come to care for on Thanksgiving Day. I hope your holiday is your own. No expectations and no disappointments. Enjoy what you are able to and let go of what you choose to. Happy Thanksgiving.CiCihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08615265608675467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-38495696840962907612010-11-23T08:04:31.431-05:002010-11-23T08:04:31.431-05:00I remember both good and bad holidays of the past,...I remember both good and bad holidays of the past, mostly I go into it with high expectations, can't seem to stop myself from years of that practice. What I do now along with that is to try to not fantasize the event as though it will be some magical Rockewell'esque family holiday. Sometimes I forget that the Norman Rockwell painting was a one-dimensional depiction of a 4 dimensional experience. And I can bring all 4 dimensions to the occasion with practice of principles that you all provided in AA and Alanon. :) It's sure to be a day of Gratitude and thanksgiving in that light :)Jess Mistress of Mischiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14766848582303523764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-20405338207713365872010-11-23T07:32:59.794-05:002010-11-23T07:32:59.794-05:00As my wife and my kid and his wife are working I w...As my wife and my kid and his wife are working I will sit lotus and meditate on you for a bit Syd. Then the dogs and I will have our turkey sandwich and sleep. It just be another Thursday when you are thankful most every day no?the walking manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058913927297370740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-5935621314651364122010-11-23T02:33:56.819-05:002010-11-23T02:33:56.819-05:00holidays bring out the best and worst in us. '...holidays bring out the best and worst in us. 'no expectations' is the only way to survive.Shadowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999801833389058410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-12054347369456246362010-11-23T02:23:08.303-05:002010-11-23T02:23:08.303-05:00Beautiful, Syd. The last two paragraphs particula...Beautiful, Syd. The last two paragraphs particularly spoke to me. <br /><br />Thank you.Her Big Sadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07872091902506034704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-60974361944690618702010-11-23T00:22:34.908-05:002010-11-23T00:22:34.908-05:00I have been un-invited by my alcoholic from the fa...I have been un-invited by my alcoholic from the family gathering this year. I guess in his mind, it will somehow be easier to field a zillion questions about where his wife is than to go with me and pretend for two hours...but his mind is not my concern. I can spend the day getting all wound up worrying over what lies he is telling others about me, or I can spend the day relaxing peacefully, doing things I enjoy, reflecting on my blessings, and maintaining my serenity. I need to pick the healthy one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-60869323751005783402010-11-22T21:29:15.667-05:002010-11-22T21:29:15.667-05:00My expecations about what the holidays should be a...My expecations about what the holidays should be are toxic for me. I become anxious getting ready for the future to appear like the Ebenezer Scrouge dream. My hopes can never meet up to what is, I hijack others to make it a reality..One stepping it today<br /><br />Wish Fox News was banned it feeds fuel to fires and keeps it all in flames.Di-Githttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10770400058372063740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-33908178038739471732010-11-22T19:01:57.856-05:002010-11-22T19:01:57.856-05:00I can relate to so much of this that you wrote. (w...I can relate to so much of this that you wrote. (with the relatives' politics too!) I agree that your plan sounds wonderful. I can relate to Annette's old behaviors of trying to make it all perfect and instead making myself miserable....that's not perfect at all! This year we're going some friends home and sharing the cooking and that does sound perfect to me,...and peaceful. Blessings to you and your Thanksgiving. :)beachteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14159524928730022945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-60388433002116133432010-11-22T18:26:12.460-05:002010-11-22T18:26:12.460-05:00Isn't it sad how many families can't seem ...Isn't it sad how many families can't seem to enjoy the company of each other? So often it is the alcohol that skews everything. I will enjoy a quiet time with my 2 sons and 1 granddaughter and then head on down to another meal at our AA building...always a fun time.<br />Have a nice one, Syd.Ginniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12749133391349265563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-18951361900863525312010-11-22T15:39:20.611-05:002010-11-22T15:39:20.611-05:00I have learned that I do not have to understand wh...I have learned that I do not have to understand why people do things in order to be serene. I would make myself crazy(er) obsessing about and trying to change or understand other's behaviors. I am spending Thursday alone with the furries as my husband is with his parents this year. It will be a quiet, grace-filled day for me. I will miss my family..but not the drama.<br /><br />♥namaste♥Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128247878961221421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-11545853905034949382010-11-22T15:01:17.945-05:002010-11-22T15:01:17.945-05:00you know i was right there back in teh day...and h...you know i was right there back in teh day...and holidays were little fun...now i take a similar stance and T is good about letting me roam when i need to....Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-49804207306327205662010-11-22T14:43:25.736-05:002010-11-22T14:43:25.736-05:00yes very sensible :)
cool. what a gift it is to be...yes very sensible :)<br />cool. what a gift it is to be able to let go of the desire to control people and make them into who we want to be. <br />you al anons get that part down to a fine art :)<br /><br />but yep. expectations are so painful. <br />getting what u want is painful too because I worry how long it wil last :) so u can't win :)<br />just have to let go of everything !An Irish Friend of Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15781376087404079818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-69814834735190483622010-11-22T11:58:38.983-05:002010-11-22T11:58:38.983-05:00Was it last year you invited a group to your house...Was it last year you invited a group to your house for the dinner, including the parents and AA friends too? We learn there are ways to live with things that used to baffle us, and we learn how to be gracious. Blessings on your Thanksgiving, Syd.Enchanted Oakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14815997287116818456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-64447643727000280822010-11-22T11:23:37.023-05:002010-11-22T11:23:37.023-05:00I wasted a lot of time and energy on worrying abou...I wasted a lot of time and energy on worrying about my in-laws. Seems so silly now that they are long gone....I can only wonder how I would have handled it had I been in a 12 step program all those years ago.Marciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09072868519236902423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-49347288868831128522010-11-22T11:19:08.710-05:002010-11-22T11:19:08.710-05:00I can relate to so much of this. The holidays are ...I can relate to so much of this. The holidays are always *a lot* of work for me...so since finding recovery for myself, I look for ways to take care of myself. Not do as much, keep it simple...I like applying "just for today" to the holidays. <br /><br />My son is bringing home his girlfriend for Thanksgiving....a first for him to have someone special enough that he his sharing a holiday with her....and I am fighting getting into crazy mode of making everything "perfect" and I know me...I will be stressed I won't be any fun to be around. lol My son said, "We are who we are mom. Its ok." I love that boy. <br /><br />Anyway Syd...sorry, I took off on my comment here. I hope you have a wonderful day doing whatever it is that will bring you and C joy. I pray you can find fulfillment in meeting two old people right where they are at and enjoying a day with them.Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18326425173333184401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-74728130626403214182010-11-22T10:14:52.802-05:002010-11-22T10:14:52.802-05:00I am at odd with my extended family over politics,...I am at odd with my extended family over politics, too. My sympathies on that, Syd.<br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving!Sarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-40807725153767038872010-11-22T10:04:54.146-05:002010-11-22T10:04:54.146-05:00The holidays are a trial. You can do it well or d...The holidays are a trial. You can do it well or do it poorly. It sounds like you have a spirit of service which will translate into a happy holiday for you and those around you.Mary Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08156474205414127488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904990175885851041.post-9091338801094765232010-11-22T09:39:12.318-05:002010-11-22T09:39:12.318-05:00Holidays can be so hard for some. It takes some en...Holidays can be so hard for some. It takes some enlightenment, I think, to truly enjoy them. I understand C's mother's anger, all those years ago. She couldn't even admit to herself, I am sure. Women are SUPPOSED to do all the work, SUPPOSED to make everyone else happy.<br />Or so we were told, once upon a time.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.com