I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon

It all sounds perfect.

2012-06-03T20:07:45.852-04:00

It all sounds perfect.

I hope you don't mind if I quoted you on my br...

2012-06-03T19:23:35.062-04:00

I hope you don't mind if I quoted you on my brand spankin' new blog (abohemiansversionofcommonsense.wordpress.com).

The posts you write about boating always feel ... ...

2012-06-03T16:45:10.362-04:00

The posts you write about boating always feel ... relaxing. :)

Glad it was a good day

Didn't that storm just cool it off... Great sl...

2012-06-03T12:32:39.955-04:00

Didn't that storm just cool it off... Great sleeping weather. Enjoy. :)

The water is medication. The good kind.

2012-06-03T08:56:06.042-04:00

The water is medication. The good kind.

Steve, I do meet him at open AA meetings. He find...

2012-06-03T08:03:58.032-04:00

Steve, I do meet him at open AA meetings. He finds something wrong with just about every one--too many druggies and not enough real alcoholics. Restless, irritable and discontent sums it up.

walks on the beach and watching the moon dance...n...

2012-06-03T07:12:23.721-04:00

walks on the beach and watching the moon dance...now those sound absolutely serene

Your sailing neighborhood really doesn't sound...

2012-06-03T06:23:03.188-04:00

Your sailing neighborhood really doesn't sound too much different from my concrete one. Except we see different kinds of crabs here among the people of the party houses.

Hope you slept well.

That photo made me ache for a paddle in the sea.

2012-06-03T06:03:01.520-04:00

That photo made me ache for a paddle in the sea.

The minute i see you've got a new post i usual...

2012-06-03T01:38:41.826-04:00

The minute i see you've got a new post i usually rush over here, although i haven't posted a comment to say thanks til now, i love your posts. Thanks!

SYD, your maturity inspires me--the way you deal w...

2012-06-02T21:50:54.115-04:00

SYD, your maturity inspires me--the way you deal with these situations. I wonder if you asked him if he would want to go to a meeting. the either take him, or arrange it...rather than 'know' it will happen again.

"Where there is breathing, there is hope"!
--steve

Hmmmm, Syd - - - I noticed one thing absent from y...

2012-06-02T14:55:04.498-04:00

Hmmmm, Syd - - - I noticed one thing absent from your First Aid Kit of Serenity / Help tools: USE THE PHONE!

Glad you ended up peacefully.

Hugs,
Anonymous #1

I think you handled that well Syd, and I can total...

2012-06-02T10:41:04.177-04:00

I think you handled that well Syd, and I can totally relate to your feelings after the confrontation. It can be exhausting, and then we blame ourselves for not standing up for ourselves in the first place. I go through this with my immediate family from time to time, at least you realize that it will indeed happen again, I take my hat off to you for that one. I tend to sometimes live in the fantasy that "this time will be different" , and afterwards I feel the despondency that you describe. Such is living and learning life. I guess if this is my biggest problem today, life is pretty good. Thanks for this post and I'm sorry for the loss of your friend two years ago.
Patty

Syd, I don't post very often, but please know...

2012-06-02T09:57:19.866-04:00

Syd,

I don't post very often, but please know that I continue to get so much from reading your blog. I'm not feeling very clear today, but just wanted to tell you that your words frequently help and comfort me. Particularly on those days when it all feels like too much.

Monica

You know Syd I don't pity you in the least. BU...

2012-06-02T08:04:28.705-04:00

You know Syd I don't pity you in the least. BUT I am sorry that you had such a hard upbringing and experiences that left you so wounded. You really seem like a nice man, one I'd be glad to share a table with and a cup of coffee (as long as I was buying and you were using my get one free coupon. It gives you those expensive foo foo drinks with whipped cream and all which wouldn't be good for my glucose levels).

I was seriously bullied as a kid and i went 180 degrees in the opposite direction once I grew to 6' 250 pounds...I punished everyone, especially them who were caught by me bullying someone else.

If you know the behavior will return why wait for it, cut the dude loose and think on it no more.

Not easy Syd -- to set boundaries with someone wh...

2012-06-02T03:46:05.518-04:00

Not easy Syd -- to set boundaries with someone who does not respect boundaries.

My first thought about these odd days is how you l...

2012-06-01T23:42:46.798-04:00

My first thought about these odd days is how you let them be a chance to use tools that you know. You didn't back down, you just did something different. You handled things. Nicely done.

Sounds like a rough couple of days but you took st...

2012-06-01T23:24:33.882-04:00

Sounds like a rough couple of days but you took steps to change that. I hope this is more than just a reprieve.

So sorry about your friend K.

Handing the ones around us over to their HP is one...

2012-06-01T22:49:48.715-04:00

Handing the ones around us over to their HP is one of the many gifts that I'm grateful for in Al-Anon. I didn't have that before this program... For me, when I can detach and set those health boundaries is when the miracles happen the most. Keeping you in my prayers my friend.

It never fails to amaze me how we AA people lose d...

2012-06-01T21:32:57.829-04:00

It never fails to amaze me how we AA people lose direction and common sense when we drift away from the program.
At least you were able to show him where he went wrong and sounds like he might have heard you.

i am glad you were able to cut that tension and re...

2012-06-01T19:36:16.458-04:00

i am glad you were able to cut that tension and reset your boundaries...that is def a good thing and a much better position...

"... comes up with many ideas but doesn't...

2012-06-01T18:30:45.004-04:00

"... comes up with many ideas but doesn't see them through...."...

sounds like me!!

Oh Syd. Such things are so hard. And so upsetting....

2012-06-01T16:34:07.732-04:00

Oh Syd. Such things are so hard. And so upsetting. Even after all these years in life and in Alanon, they are hard for you and I understand.
But I think you chose the right tools and you did what you had to do and you came through to the other side.
I admire you.
I can't believe it's been two years since K. died. I remember that.
Thinking of you gently.

I don't know the whole story, but I would acce...

2012-06-01T16:11:43.631-04:00

I don't know the whole story, but I would accept the apology at face value.

Maybe he felt he was losing your friendship, and that makes some people act very needy.

I hope you post photos of the finished boat, it sounds wonderful!

I like that my recovery does not depend on one day...

2012-06-01T16:07:22.936-04:00

I like that my recovery does not depend on one day or one incident. It's been about building upon each day that offers me a new opportunity to grow and awaken. I remember you writing about K. That was painful, and I'm touched to see her honored today by the pic. Thanks syd.