Thanks for all of your great comments yesterday. Some of you had asked previous to that post about what were the circumstances that brought me to Al-Anon. It was really a life time of living with alcoholism but the defining moment of surrender occurred as written in yesterday's post.
I had been expecting something from someone who had nothing to give at that time and hadn't for some years. I could remember thinking how much I wanted to turn back the clock, start over, and have a clean slate. I felt as if I had spent years trying to understand the relationship between us. Some days things would be great while at other times they would be beyond horrible. Such is life with alcoholism.
It was time for me to let go of her and to let myself live. I know now that I didn't stop loving her, but I had to change my behavior in the relationship. And through this great program, the grace of God and the steps, I was able to stop trying to make her into someone she wasn't and to release her to be who she is.
By taking my hands off the situation and giving consideration to my own needs, a major change occurred. I was given a chance at a new life and freedom of spirit.
And today I get to give some of what was so freely given to me back. I'm telling my story at a meeting this afternoon and am hearing a fifth step with a sponsee this evening. He wanted to do the fifth step at the beach. So I've got some lanterns, a cooler of sandwiches and soft drinks, a blanket to sit on, the Big Book of AA, and a vista that whispers God is all around. I am honored and filled with wonder to be where I am today. God is truly busy with me today.
Syd - thanks for sharing your experiences and lessons learned with us. I can't begin to tell you how much I've learned from what you write. God is busy with you!
ReplyDeleteGod is lucky to have you as one of his children.
ReplyDeleteHow to say this...
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of your God for you.
Blessings and aloha...
Syd I hope you never get tired of me telling you this. I really do not care if you do, sorry. As I sit here with goose bumps, sniffling, salty tears rolling down my cheeks, I reach out and hug you. I reach out and tell you how much YOU have helped me ovecome so many things in my life. No I am not in AA nor do I Need to be. I know that God is truly working through you and what a blessing, what a great choice he made. God bless you, thank you for everything. I wish I could be on the beach with you today, with this new sponsee. Just to see how wonderful he/she is going to feel with you at their side.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and HUGS
Yes...God is busy and thank heaven above you are AVAILABLE for the work.
ReplyDeleteDoing that fifth step on the beach with the cooler, blankets and lanterns sounds awesome. Your sponsee is lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteI only in the last 4 years have realized how important meeting my needs are. When raising kids, being married, holding a job and surviving life, my needs got lost in the rush. I find my anxiety is way down and my clarity of thought is more focused on what matters rather than on trivial things.
ReplyDeleteGreat post syd. Thanks for sharing again. Hugs. Tammy
"Some days things would be great while at other times they would be beyond horrible."
ReplyDeleteI hear ya!
I needed to hear this. I know these moments come. I am grabbing onto my tools today and will be grateful for whatever comes.
ReplyDeleteNamaste
It sounds like you're going to have a great day. I just came from a good meeting and then whacked down some dying plants. Action, and more action. It is a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteChris A
Syd, thanks for sharing your life with us. I think both of these posts are very inspirational - for those in AA and for everyday life in general
ReplyDeleteSyd you are nothing but GooooD, man! The Alanon thinking you impart to us, whether we qualify or not, whether we kill ourselves or not, whether we drink or not, is awesome.
ReplyDeleteFriday morning I give a lead on Tradition TEN (one each month) and I will use your and my posts from last February to prep myself. I have referred at least a dozen times to those "Steps and Traditions by Syd and Steve" for one reason or other.
Love and PEACE!
i love the beach and the sea. it used to be my refuge when i needed to be alone and away from my family as a kid. it was a surrogate parent. the mood of the surf is very cathartic.
ReplyDeletesounds like a great day :) thanks for sharing your day with us :)
It is a true gift to listen to someones fifth step. I had the privalege of listening to others lives, good and bad. It is a sacred trust. jeNN
ReplyDeleteWow. I just went back and read yesterday's post Syd. I'm so glad you made a reference to it. Amazing stuff. No matter what it took to get us there, thank goodness we got there, right?
ReplyDeleteYour posts always touch my soul and I'm glad God is active with yours.
ReplyDeleteSyd, another great post. Thank you so much. I need these words right now so much.
ReplyDeletei've always been one for a clean slate. when things muck up, get dirty or chipped, i want to throw it away and get an unblemished one. that gets harder and harder to do as time passes by. and in actual fact, that is just plain running away. sooner or later one has to stop, there is no other alternative but to stop, clean up and fix what you have...
ReplyDeleteYour blog has been an important part of my recovery as an alcoholic and adult child. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWhen we place our hand on another shoulder, God's hand is placed on ours.
ReplyDeleteHow very fortunate your sponsee is to have you in their life! Blessings on your time together.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sweet person, Syd.
ReplyDeleteLove you,
SB
Syd- I am just really, realy glad I stumbled across your blog. I have no idea what it is about you man.... (well, obviously God works strongly through you) I just really get alot from reading what you've got to share.
ReplyDeleteThanks!