I joined this group because it offered some good courses for sailing and boating. After the phone call this morning, I realized once again that I am lucky to have a program of recovery. I am choosing to complete my assigned task for the group and the course that I am taking. I am not blaming the organization or the person. I find that for some reason though, getting involved with clubs and civic groups seems to be fertile ground for resentments and power struggles. I am not vested in either.
I met with a couple of fellows I sponsor this morning. One is struggling to communicate with a wife who is depressed and not wanting to talk. Communication is difficult when a person doesn't want to hear what another has to say. It's as if we are talking in different languages. One person pulls away, and the other advances in an attempt to force intimacy. These two people may be on a divergent path at the moment. Hopefully, there is enough love to be able to connect once again in a meaningful way.
I am going to inventory this day and then hope for a better one tomorrow. At least getting some sleep seems to put an entirely new perspective on most everything. I suspect that it is time to put away the computer and enjoy the chilly night ahead.
I just went on a divergent path with my youngest daughter. I'm trying to teach her to drive. At one point I thought she was about to crash into the car in front and I raised my voice, yelled, screamed, whatever, to say slow down, but the damage was done. Not to any car. My daughter knew what she was doing. She knew to stop in time, only I did not trust her enough to know this and now, well we'll have to wait till next time. Teaching your children to drive to me is one of the hardest aspects of parenthood I know of.
ReplyDeleteThis is slightly off the track of your post, Syd, but it comes to mind when I think of your talk of divergent paths and temporary lapses in communication.
Yup, we're in St Augustine tonight, going down near 40 deg. WOW! Back to warm Naples Friday afternoon! PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteTime for me now also...good night!
I work in several voluntary community organisations and dealing with obstructionists is not easy. A good night's sleep can restore perspective --
ReplyDeleteOne of the worst decisions I ever made was volunteering to be on my Home Owners Association. I've never seen such power struggles.
ReplyDeleteThe best decision I made was resigning.
Just wanted to say hello. I am new to Al Anon and your blog..
ReplyDeleteEverywhere you go there are egos and hurt people. If I can learn to live with that, I will have a much happier life.
ReplyDeleteThe beauty of retirement is that you can now pick and choose what projects to get involved in and whether its really worth it to your serenity.
ReplyDeleteToday will be a new day and hopefully a better one. If not, give me 'ol girls number and I'll call anonymously and straighten her ass out ;)
sadly i see that reality of power struggles in civic organizations or clubs and it seems ripe for people who have no power in one realm to take it in another...i think too that is comes from lack of vision and clarity in vision...each person developing their own toward what the organization is about without a central driving force
ReplyDeleteAnd I just choose not to get involved.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is a spectacularly good option.
Impatience, resentment, anger, fatigue, and much more seem to be harder for lots of people to deal with lately. Fear of the future and hopelessness in general.
ReplyDeleteIs the fellow's wife getting help for her depression? I hope so, for her sake.
Really I cannot imagine anyone hanging up on you?!!?
ReplyDeleteAs you said, "I am lucky to have a program of recovery."
ReplyDeleteThat says it all. For me that just says it all. Having a program is helping me become and feel whole, and to respond as a whole to the infinite variables of days and moments. I'm becoming more of a constant somehow. My program helps whether it's me having the bad day or someone else. And anyone's bad day isn't the end of the world: hard to deal with granted but getting easier, and not the end of the world. More and more I'm eliminating regrets from my existence in terms of my welfare and the welfare of others in my responses. I'm grateful! And I can wonder, what if Alanon didn't exist? "Lucky" indeed...
A good night's sleep is better than anything for helping to change one's perspective.
ReplyDeleteI wish you a good rest of the week, Syd.
I love you.
I have found power struggles in churches.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I have to respond to the first comment which stated "Teaching your children to drive to me is one of the hardest aspects of parenthood I know of." I can in no way compare teaching a child to drive to dealing with drug addiction in a child. Not in the same league.
You're right, Lisa. I was speaking of my own exoerience. I can only imagine the difficulties of trying to help a child with a drug addiction and it's in no way comparable to teaching a child to learn to drive.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that one deals with building on naturally endowed strengths - most of us can eventually learn to drive - and the other deals with overcoming serious obstacles to learning and growth.
Isn't it interesting how the recovering community seems to be so different from other organizations. So many of those get hung up on the silliest things. I find I have little patience for it.
ReplyDeleteI missed your entries, Syd and have just tried to catch up. It's good to be back in the bloggosphere.
Na Ja, I think it is a good thing to share everyday divergence, like the fact that being the passenger in a car, when your child is at the wheel learning to drive could indeed bring up issues!
ReplyDelete