My girl is gone

My beloved old girl, Stella, who spent many an hour out on the boat and the beach with me slipped away quietly this evening.  She was such a trooper, always cheerful and willing to ride.  She knew what to do on the boat, would get carried in and out of the dinghy, and spent many a night and day as a faithful companion.  I could tell you all the things that we did, the trips that we made, the happiness of having this beautiful animal, but suffice to say that she was pretty much my heart--one of those special ones that comes along and steals your heart but holds it tenderly.

I will tell you that I knew she was going to die a few weeks ago. I tried to convince myself that she would be okay.  The vets said that she was not in danger, but I knew. I knew but wanted to hope that she would be well.  But the other night, she looked in my eyes, and I felt that she was telling me that she could not follow me any more and that I was to go on ahead.

And today, I knew that she would not last long. She lifted her paw, even though she could not lift her head.  I carried her out to the grassy lawn where she played as a puppy.  We sat there for a while in the sun.  Then I took her back inside, called the vet to tell him she was near the end, and when I walked in to check on her, she was gone.

I can't write much else now.  We suspect that she was taken from us by a water borne spore Pythium insidiosum.  If you want to know more, you can read about it here.  She went quickly and didn't suffer.  Most likely her age had something to do with her susceptibility to the spores.  I don't know.  And right now,  thinking like a scientist is holding me together to get through this post. 

I have a million photos of her.  I chose one of us together at the beach.