A chasm of rage

The fissure of the tentative rock that sort of held us together as some sort of cordial family unit has become a broad chasm.  All attempts at civility and kindness have been replaced by anger and full out rage.

We spent all of last night in the ER with both in-laws. She was in because she fell in a melee of anger.  He is there for a psych evaluation and an attempt to stabilize his mood.  It was one of the worst nights that I have spent in a long time.   My father-in-law wants nothing to do with his daughter or with me.  We are dead to him at the moment.  All the seething rage that could be brought forth was spewed on us.  And there was also spewing back.  I feel sick and sad.

Right now, I don't know what my amends will be.  When he shoved and screamed at his own daughter, it was too much for me.  Enough said.  I am out of his life.  After all these years, it has come to this.  And his daughter, my wife, has also been ex-communicated, rubbed out, and hollowed out by all of this.

I have much processing of my reaction to do.  I am appalled at my own reptilian reaction.  That being said, I am somewhat relieved to no longer be a part of some tragic play where people are pretending that there is no elephant in the room.  Right now, all is calm because the elephant is in restraints.  Yet the echo of his rage is still ringing in my ears.

Time for some merciful sleep.