Our own network

The birthday law lasted through the movie and lunch.  The "Tinker" movie was full of twists and turns, flashbacks, and complications.  It was one that required attention and thinking to get what was happening.  Maybe I wasn't in the mood for thinking so hard, because I preferred the "Dragon Tattoo" movie which was straightforward and yet action packed.  We enjoyed the time together, eating popcorn, and later having fish tacos at a restaurant near the theater.

Bliss was short-lived though. When we got home, there were 11 calls from the caregivers and my wife's parents. No messages though.  Uh-Oh.......hard not to have the mind go to a bad place, wondering who is now in the hospital or worse circumstances.

The situation was that Pop was angry with the caregivers, telling Jessica and Brad that they did nothing, were not of any use to him.  It hurt their feelings a lot because they are good people who work hard at keeping the parents comfortable, well fed, entertained, and the house clean.  My wife, C.,  went to have a talk with her dad.  She explained that without the caregivers, they cannot stay in their home.   C. said that he sat there and seethed, saying only disparaging things.

Quality of life for the parents will not be good should he drive these good people away.  So this morning, I called to talk with Jessica.  She told me that her own father, who used to be her self-described hero,  is an alcoholic, that her mother has been in Al-Anon for over a year, and that she can see that Pop is a dry drunk.  So we had a good conversation about taking care of ourselves around the alcoholic.  I shared my experience with my dad.  And related that I went to Al-Anon (I did not break my wife's anonymity) because of growing up with a father who drank.  I invited her to attend one of the meetings that I go to which is close by the parent's home.

I think that this was another moment in which there is a reason that we have been put together.  We are now all on the same page with our truths.  Jessica and I both love alcoholics.   Brad works at the homeless shelter and deals with all stages of alcoholism.  My wife is alcoholic and probably her dad is also.  C's. mom has lived with a restless, irritable, and discontent man for her entire marriage. We are all connected by the disease.  Together, we will form our own network to listen to each other, share our feelings, and work through the difficulties.  Things happen for a reason. People come together for a reason.  Nothing is coincidence.