We decided on the spur of the moment to drive to the AA conference in Hilton Head. I am so glad that we went. We heard some wonderful speakers yesterday. They provided humor and inspiration. I came away feeling that I had been exactly where I needed to be. After the last week, it was time to surround ourselves with those who could offer their solution to difficult situations.
As we were driving back last evening, we talked about our resolve to make sure both parents have what they need. Neither of us is happy that they may have to live separately for a while. But until we know that Mom won't be verbally abused, we are going to keep them apart, except for visiting.
I want this to be over. I want my wife to feel good again. I want the family unit to be together. But I realize that this isn't up to me. I cannot make things be okay. We simply will work through all this stuff as best we can. Things change so quickly. Others live with horrible situations every day. That doesn't comfort me. But I am grateful that we have a fellowship from which we do draw comfort. We are able to get what we need from the collective strength of so many.
Syd - I'm glad you enjoyed the conference. I did as well. I found Nick P, who is from my hometown, to be a great speaker. He gave me a lot to think about and use. I hope you enjoyed him as well. The Alanon breakout session in the afternoon was worthwhile as well. There are nuggets I will keep with me, such as the man who said "AA stopped him from drinking and Alanon keeps him from drinking." I also appreciated the comments from Polly P last night on how Alanon has helped her. The confernce is specially as it allows the fellowships to interact. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to meet. I also hope you saw the heron and turtles in the lagoon behind the hotel.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you went to the conference. I love those and am getting a group together to go to ours in Feb. Tough decisions to make with the parents. I'm so sorry...but I have full confidence that you are able and filled with enough love to manage this situation with grace. Bless your heart Syd for being so present with C.
ReplyDeleteWhen I turn to the solution, rather than focus on the problem, I can quiet my mental turmoil.
ReplyDeleteStunning picture, Syd.
Syd, this was my favorite bit from the quotation you offered the other day: "Examine it, take your own inventory, make an amend however you choose to do so, and after discussion with your sponsor, then move on. You are not one scrap less of a wonderful loving and good-hearted man now, than you were the second before your response. You're the very same man, who has learned something new about himself."
ReplyDeleteI'm learning that true feelings can't be covered up or denied. And sometimes I have to act on them, even if I later don't like the way I've acted—even if O don't like the way I'm acting in the moment. The only way I learn is from experience. From life lived in real-time—not in retrospect (I love how she said, "move on"); not in fast-forward.
Who knows what opportunities time may bring? May you have peace as time moves on. much love to you. /G
so cool you acted on that whim and got a bit of what you need man...i hope for you that you find that place where things are good for your family soon...
ReplyDeleteThat sunset looks glorious. I'm glad you and C are there for each other and hopefully your parents-in-law will be able to reunite soon.
ReplyDeletethe convention DOES sound like exactly where you needed to be!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you and C. got away and did something wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThat photo is beautiful and makes me LONG to be in a warm place with palm trees!
I'm so glad you attended the conference, and so happy to hear that meetings still work :-)
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time is all we have. I know that when things go downhill with my father and mother in law, my wife will struggle. I pray that I will be able to be there for her, and be a loving husband.
Yeah. We get comfort from each other. And encouragement. And isn't that a wonder?
ReplyDeleteI love conventions (AA and Al-Anon), being surrounded by others that are on a similar journey is so empowering! I always leave re-charged!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photo! Great perspective.