Today C. had to get back to take her sponsor to pick up her 16 year medallion. Her sponsor had been sober around ten years when she decided to go back out. She decided that a little experimenting was in order. Predictably, the result was disastrous.
I hear about situations in which people have been sober for many years and then make a decision to drink again. It is a sad situation for all concerned. And it truly brings up to me how life has to be lived one day at a time.
I do believe that I am powerless over what others do. I cannot prevent another from picking up a drink again. In fact, I don't really think about it much or have anxiety about it now. I used to have a fair amount of worry surrounding situations where my wife would come in contact with alcohol. I tried to watch her closely and rapidly was back in the unmanageability of my disease. But the more time I have had in recovery, the more I realized that her sobriety is not up to me. What a relief that has been.
So today I am grateful that she will be there to give her sponsor a 16 year medallion. And maybe the story shared of how going back out to retry the insanity of drinking again will convey just how deadly the disease is. There are no guarantees with alcoholism, but the best defense is to stay spiritually fit and to make a daily decision to not be involved in the insanity for that one day.
This is the second post today that I have read that stresses the importance of being spirtually fit. I think there is a message there for me :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to the recipient of the 16 year chip. Good stuff.
Anniversaries are a good thing. My alcoholic was 15 years sober when he decided to experiment. It was on a special weekend in AC for my birthday. Ok, I guess I could have seen it coming, but, I can't control it. He's a little more than 1 year old now. I guess my slips in Al-Anon aren't as obvious, but they happen. Thanks for sharing and good on you and C for making this a priority. 'cause, you know what they say "s.l.i.p." stands for.
ReplyDeleteLetting go is the hardest thing. Why IS that?
ReplyDeleteI don't know but I am so proud of you. And of your bride.
Syd, I know I do not comment nearly enough, but you are one of my favorite writers.
ReplyDeleteI really admire you and the grace and wisdom that you gained through the program and I am so impressed by the relationship you have with your wife. The strengthening of your relationship that came with recovery is beautiful and something that I one time hoped for with J. Alas, that ship has sailed and we will never be a couple in recovery, but that is okay. I can live vicariously through y'all. ;)
I have done several times what C did,with the exception of course I was never sober long before I went back out drinking again untill December 17,1990 when by the Grace of God I finally got the message.Congrats to C who got her 16 ytear coin.
ReplyDeletesmiles. its easy to fool ourselves into thinking we can handle it this time around....
ReplyDeleteMike, it is her sponsor who is getting the chip. My wife has four + years of sobriety. Her sponsor asked C. to give her the 16 year medallion. It is a great bond in this fellowship as you know.
ReplyDeleteLessons frequently learned the hard way.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary, I am really happy for you!
ReplyDelete~Sarah~
Congratulations to the sponsor and to you and C, doing this thing one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to C's sponsor for making it 16 years. And congratulations to you for learning to put those anxieties to rest. I hope I can get there someday too.,
ReplyDeleteno matter how many years pass, it is all about one day at a time...
ReplyDeleteI found myself doing the watching game with hubby, looking at his reactions when he saw actors in a movie doing drugs. That was fear on my part. After dealing with my own healing I am not nervous about what he does or doesn't do. It is his responsibility to take of his own self. Not my job. What freedom for me. It is nice to read how you and C have gotten to the healthy place you live now one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI think one day at a time helps so many situations. I use it when dealing with my bouts of depression, otherwise, I would fall apart.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Syd. Thanks for the birthday wishes. You are very special to me.
SB
One day at a time letting go and practicing these principals in all my affairs.
ReplyDeleteHelps keep me spiritually fit
It is cunning baffling and powerful
I have a good friend who slips every six months.
It is hard watching the disease take a hold of her life in recovery.
How true your write is! My sponsor has been sober for 21 years, the second time around. The first time was three and then she thought she could handle it. She said what set her straight was the huge amount of humility and surrender that little slip up cost her. She always stresses the importance of staying spiritually fit. The danger zone is when we think we are in control.....
ReplyDeleteI went to NA tonight and told them Im going on a drugs recovery course tomorrow and got a very positive response.
ReplyDeleteI got your comment some time ago about my broken promises, that's all I've done since I went on heroin, broken promises.
When I was manic I was vehemently against drugs of all types. I know I gave the impression, even in writing, of being "high" (which I was) but I felt no need for any type of drugs in that state, in fact I went higher at the peak than even crack has taken me... but since I came down into my familiar depression, a depression I just cannot shake off, I'm craving craving craving gear again and I don't know how I can ever be OK in this state.
Which is why I put so much hope in this course tomorrow. If they can clear up, and their lives were more chaotic than mine... then so can I...know what I mean??
I attended the funeral today of a dear AA man who suffered from mental illness as well as alcoholism. He had tried for many years to get sober and the most he'd had was a few months until this past year. Then, even though he was struck with lung cancer he was determined to get a year at least. We all pulled for him and today would have been his one year. A few days ago and just hours before he passed away some of the men took a one year chip to him and he loved it. Three people brought their chips to the service and they went with him to the grave. Very touching and it demonstrates the power of AA and Al-Anon.
ReplyDeleteWhat an honor for C to be able to give her sponsor her 16 year chip.
ReplyDeleteHow true that we are powerless over other people's sobriety. With my daughter I learned I had to leave her to the care of God and other alcoholics. She couldn't hear me. I could only focus on my own spiritual journey and use that impulse to be helpful to help others like me.