Hope from a newcomer

There was a newcomer at the meeting tonight.  She was in a lot of pain and for much of the meeting could hardly speak for being so emotional.  Her husband has been drinking for quite a few years but the amount being drunk has accelerated recently.  He begins drinking in the early morning and continues throughout the day.  He has promised her that he will stop but has not been able to.

Every time there is a person who comes to a meeting in pain from what alcoholism has done, I feel so much compassion.  But I am also filled with a great deal of hope.  My compassion comes from having been confused and angry, filled with despair when I went to my first meeting.  My hope comes from seeing where I am now and how far I have come in taking care of myself and not fixating on the alcoholic.

I know that if the newcomer can keep coming to meetings, there will be a chance that the pain will cease and there can be happiness in its place.  I have felt so low that I seriously thought at one time about suicide.  And yet,  now I see that was totally my disease telling me that I was no good, unworthy of love, and a complete failure as a human being.  It was through the steps of this program that I learned that I wasn't as bad as I thought nor as good as others thought I was.

Newcomers who keep coming back, get a sponsor and work the steps can feel hope again.  The tears that seem as if they will never go away will be replaced with laughter.  I know because I have seen it happen with others and with myself.  So when a newcomer walks through the door of a meeting,  I am grateful.

I not only am reminded of how I have been helped but am also given an opportunity to extend my hand to offer help to another.  That is what keeps me filled with hope.  I have seen what the 12 steps have done for me and how the 12 traditions have helped me deal with others.  Newcomers do bring hope.