Last night's discussion was on Step Six. It was interesting to hear various view points on this important step. This is the step that Bill W. said would "separate the men from the boys". When I first read about step six, I thought that it seemed so simple. I've done my inventory in Step Four where I've brought out a lot of strengths and shortcomings that I have.
In Step Five, I'm first admitting to God that I have defects of character and what those are. I then admit these to myself and take responsibility for what my inventory revealed. Then I talk to my sponsor or another trusted person in the program about the exact nature of my wrongs as well as the good things about myself. So I couldn't understand the big deal about Step Six.
Last night though, I learned that this really is the step where you "Let Go and Let God". It's a step in which I'm willing to let go of all the things that are holding me back. I'm never going to be perfect but I can make progress towards giving up those things that have blocked me for years. I can't remove these things on my own because that isn't going to work for very long. I've tried to control so many things and been unsuccessful. I know that without the help of my HP I'll not be able to remove the fear, lust, envy, judging and controlling that I do. I need to be willing to let my HP take over and work within me to be the best that I can be.
I think that the key to this step is letting God. I'm glad that we discussed this step last night because it isn't as simple as I had thought. It really means that I need to revisit Step Three and my relationship with my HP. And it makes me realize that as I complete Step Four and move into Step Five, I'll be needing to consider that my defects of character are actually not altogether bad but can help me become more spiritual and be an opportunity for greater recovery.
I remember reading about Step Six in the 12 X 12, and realizing that I was not willing to give up my defects, because I thought there would be nothing left of me!
ReplyDeleteI like how you said that it is giving up the things that are holding us back (in recovery). I think I can do that! Great Share!
HUGS
steps 6 and seven are very quick with my sponsees, as by the time they have completed all their step 5 appointments. (15 or 20? or so of 2hr appointments) they are TOTALLY fed up of their defects and resentments, so they are already 'entirely ready' to have them removed. Step 7 is just saying the step 7 prayer kneeling with myself, like in step 3, so its very short. but yeah, it takes a lot of work in 4 and 5 to get there! everyones different. i only do it like that because thats how i did it with my sponsor. i wouldnt know any other way to do it quite frankly!
ReplyDeleteI adore your recovery from the Al-Anon side. Something that you wrote that jumped out to me:
ReplyDelete"Then I talk to my sponsor or another trusted person in the program about the exact nature of my wrongs as well as the good things about myself."
I have heard this, but for some reason have been stuck on the idea that I needed to share my 4th w my sponsor. After I slipped she told me that she encouraged me to share it with someone, cuz the program was based of one alcoholic (AlAnon in your case) talking/working with another. I heard her, but not really. :)
and LOL Irish Friend, gotta love her wisdom and experiences.
What's to say after that?
ReplyDeleteThe steps are incredibly complex. And all linked. They are each as important as the other.
It's like an ever widening circle of spiritual enrichment huh? The steps keep leading us right back to work them again and again at a deeper level....amazing stuff when we are willing to surrender to the process
ReplyDeleteStep 6&7 is a lot like a "Pick and Shovel". There are no directions on them....but you can tell just by looking at a pick and shovel...that there is going to be a lot of hard work involved.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog.