Heating up

The rain that I have waited for came last evening.  A good soaking rain to refresh the vegetation and wet the earth on the dirt road.  A good southern thunderstorm that turned the horizon dark, followed by wind, thunder, lightening, and finally rain.

We had just finished up trimming box woods and working in the garden.  It felt good to get soaked to the skin.  The heat has been oppressive for the past week.  I have begun riding very early in the morning or after sunset in the evening.  And then I only ride for about 45 minutes because we are both soaked by then.

I find the best part of being with my horse is giving him a bath.  He likes to hold the hose in his mouth while I gently put pressure on the nozzle to give him water. He is quite a character, and we get along well.

C. and I went on a tomato picking excursion and came home with three 10 gal buckets filled.  We proceeded to make marinara sauce with large bubbling pots cooking on the stove. It took us all day to process the tomatoes into sauce. We froze the sauce and will no doubt appreciate it this winter.

So many tomatoes and a lot were already rotting on the ground. 

Our picking within 30 minutes

Love that "pales" were $5

Lots of tomatoes to process

I couldn't help but think as we were picking those tomatoes that the ones rotting on the ground would feed a lot of people.  It is a shame to see them go to waste. I wish that farmers would consider having a sale price for picking or maybe a free day so that produce would be used instead of wasted.

I have gone to two meetings with the unity Courage Campaign group that is trying to get people talking to each other who are from different backgrounds. So far, we have just been talking to those of similar attitudes.  I honestly don't see how we are going to get those who have opposing ideas to get together using the lunch format.  So I am going to organize a pot luck dinner out on the island at the Community Center. Hopefully, we will be able to have more thought provoking discussions by stepping out of our comfort zone.

And about talking --- The KKK and the New Black Panthers had a rumble in the state capitol on Saturday.  Several people were injured.  Lots of screaming and hurling of racial epithets. Some columnists say that we are headed for a race war. I certainly hope not, but there is a great deal of unrest.   I did not go to the rally because  I don't think much good would come from standing out in the heat being caught between two groups of people who intensely dislike each other.  Heat and dislike are bad combinations.

I have been jogging again on our country road.  Each way is a mile so I get 2 miles in each evening.  It isn't a great distance at all, but between riding and working out at the gym, I stay in good physical shape.  I enjoy the physical challenge, although Aleve liquid gels have become a daily friend to me.

The road to home.

 Hope that you all are doing well.  Looks like the entire country is in a heat wave. Stay cool.

Sunflower field near our house. 

Fresh starts and first footers

So today is a fresh start to a new year.  My reflections on the past year aren't really important because it's over. I accomplished some goals for myself, had many happy times, and had sad times because of the loss of friends and the failing health of my in-laws. I was dismayed by hatred, murder, bigotry and racism.  I was happy that the President was re-elected and that I was involved in doing my part to see that happen. I am glad that this first day of 2013 finds my wife sober and me working on my own recovery.  2012 was a year in the life--another one that I survived.

I don't know what is coming in the future, but do know that just for today I am not projecting about the future or living in the past. I am going to go to a party with some friends in recovery, see a movie, take down the Christmas decorations and eat some Hoppin' John and collard greens.

In the Lowcountry, eating Hoppin' John on New Year's Day is thought to bring a prosperous year filled with luck. The peas which can be black eyes or field peas are symbolic of luck. Collard greens, mustard greens, turnip greens, or kale along with this dish are thought to add to wealth since they are the color of money. Another traditional food, cornbread, can also be served to represent wealth, being the color of gold.  Right now, the collard greens are simmering with some ham, and the black eyes are seasoned and ready.


I also like the old traditions like First Footing. In British folk lore, the "first foot" is the first person to cross the threshold of a home on New Year's Day and is a bringer of good fortune for the coming year.  Although it is acceptable in many places for the first-footer to be a resident of the house, they must not be in the house at the stroke of midnight in order to first-foot (thus going out of the house after midnight and then coming back in to the same house is not considered to be first-footing). The first-foot is traditionally a tall, dark-haired male; a female or fair-haired male are in some places regarded as unlucky.

The first-foot usually brings several gifts, including perhaps a coin, bread, salt, coal, or a drink which respectively represent financial prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer.  Did you have a first footer at your house?

Well, no one outside the household came in and instead of coal, a black bun and whiskey, we had Hoppin' John and collard greens with cornbread. I think that a "first footer" bringing whiskey isn't my idea of good luck. But it's an interesting old tradition nonetheless.

I hope that the tall, dark and handsome man who crosses your threshold brings suitable gifts for your luck in the New Year.  Any time is the right time to start your year.

When I was alive, I believed — as you do — that time was at least as real and solid as myself, and probably more so. I said 'one o'clock' as though I could see it, and 'Monday' as though I could find it on the map; and I let myself be hurried along from minute to minute, day to day, year to year, as though I were actually moving from one place to another. Like everyone else, I lived in a house bricked up with seconds and minutes, weekends and New Year's Days, and I never went outside until I died, because there was no other door. Now I know that I could have walked through the walls. (...) You can strike your own time, and start the count anywhere. When you understand that — then any time at all will be the right time for you. — Peter S. Beagle

Worms, food, and a wedding anniversary

Another week has begun after a peaceful weekend on the water.  Saturday was stormy, so we sat in the cockpit and watched the storm clouds gather. When the rain came down in a torrent, we moved below to the dry cabin, watched a movie, listened to music, read books.  We went to sleep with the rain hitting the hatch cover over our heads, and the boat gently moving in the small swells.

On Sunday,  the weather had turned around to a beautifully bright spring day.  We took a long walk on the beach, looked for shark's teeth,  and talked to a few families who were enjoying a picnic. Amelia enjoyed her time on the beach because she loves to greet people who pet her.  She says hello and then moves on, wagging her tail.  I like that she has the same manners as her mother, my old girl who died in November.

Beach combing for me is not so much about what I take but what I observe.  On Friday evening, we heard the sounds of thousands of mating bristle worms hitting the hull.  These polychaete worms swarm in a mating frenzy when the water temperature begins to warm.  Their tubes are so numerous that they cover the sand in many places.  Shining a light over the side of the boat at night reveals thousands of the red epitokes.  The epitoke is a portion of the bristleworm that  is packed with eggs or sperm and becomes highly specialised for swimming.  At mating time, the epitoke breaks off from the main worm and can move about on its own. Swimming to the surface, it is joined by the epitokes of other bristleworms. At the surface, the epitokes burst apart, releasing eggs and sperm for external fertilisation.  In this way, the worms can reproduce without exposing the rest of their bodies to danger.

Worm tubes on the beach

There is always something to talk about on the beach.  So many people don't seem to take the time to stop and wonder about what is right under their feet.  Maybe some don't want to know!

We had a foodie weekend too with snow crab and corn on the cob on Friday evening,  Szechuan flounder and crispy eggplant on Saturday, and linguine with white clam sauce on Sunday.  No bristle worms were added though! All the salt air and long walks builds up a healthy appetite.

This coming Friday will be the 70th wedding anniversary of my wife's parents.  We are planning to take them to lunch at a nice restaurant. I'm not sure how all this will go because Mom doesn't really remember who Pop is at times, thinking that he is her brother or father.  And Pop is frail but doing okay as long as the ammonia buildup on the brain is kept low due to laculose.  But then the laculose causes diarrhea which presents another set of problems.  Anyway, we are hoping that all will go well, and the parents will be healthy enough to go out.  I can tell that C. is a bit anxious over the whole thing.

I cannot imagine 70 years together.  I won't speculate on what that takes.  But it takes more than what most people can imagine.  

Busy time

I've had a busy but good couple of days. Much of the time I was cooking! I made a pot of chili for the oyster roast that we go to this afternoon. This roast is hosted by some good friends who are artists and musicians. All kinds of instruments get played and it turns into a super jam session. It is always a good time because the guests are eclectic.

I also made some spaghetti sauce for the sailing club meeting on Thursday night. The sauce was voted as being the best there which was great. I used those spicy Italian sausages which really added to the flavor. I am finding cooking to be relaxing and have become more experimental with recipes and seasonings. It'a good to not treat cooking as a chemistry experiment but to ad lib and have fun with it.

My wife came back from receiving her award and was renourished by seeing old colleagues. She was given a standing ovation by over a hundred scientists who recognized her research. That could not have come at a better time. Just a little bump to the self- esteem meter does wonders.

I found a great horned owl yesterday that was sick. I saw it sitting on the ground in the morning which was unusual. Later in the day the owl was lying on the ground. I saw that it was alive but very weak. I carried it to the Birds of Prey center, but it was too sick to survive. What an incredibly beautiful animal! I had not seen one up close.

A staff member told me that the owl was emaciated. The great horned owl mates for life and starvation can occur if its mate dies. The animal kingdom is filled with those who have a pair-bond. I thought about that yesterday afternoon when my mother-in-law came to visit her husband. The two of them were sitting side by side in wheel chairs eating ice cream and cookies, smiling at each other, and talking. All is good with them at the moment. Two old people still together after so many years--when the moments are good, I can forget the painful times, as apparently they do also.

The weather is windy today with a northerly bite to it--perfect weather for being near a bonfire, roasting and eating oysters. So much promise is in this day. I'm going to treasure that.

Dogs and sea glass

We had a nice weekend out on the boat.  The weather was warm but breezy.  It's unusual to have temperatures in the mid to upper 60's in February.  Even the plants are befuddled because the azaleas and the tulip magnolias are already blooming.  The hyacinths and tulips are coming up and budding.  Crazy El Nino weather this winter.

This weekend we took our newest boat dog, Amelia, out with us.  She is the daughter of our old girl that recently died.  Amelia is an English Labrador who seems to enjoy getting in the dinghy and going to shore.  Getting back in the dinghy for the return trip was not her favorite thing, generally resulting in my having to coax her to get close enough so that I could lift her into the boat.  She weighs about 80 pounds and would go limp when it was time to transfer her from the dinghy to the boat.  And that lifting was upward!  Whew, what a workout.   It may take several more trips before she gets the hang of it.  I am posting this photo next to her sleeping berth so that she will get the idea of what some dogs do.  Maybe this handsome Newfoundland will be her hero!

It was surely good to have some time to ourselves.  Having cheese and crackers for a snack, fixing pancakes on Sunday morning, flounder and Spanish rice for dinner on Friday evening--reminders of having good food after walking the beach for much of the day.  We found several nice shark's teeth to add to the collection and a beautiful piece of aqua sea glass.  I would like to have the sea glass made into a necklace for my wife.  Here is what I think would be creative and attractive:

Maybe it is something that I can create myself from the wave-worn glass that we find on the beach.  She is much more of an aquamarine spirit, than that depicted by a shark's tooth wrapped in silver.  The color of the sea becomes her, wrapped with thin strands of silver.  

Our weekend, however brief, brings to mind a poem by the sad but brilliant Sylvia Plath. 

Two Lovers and a Beachcomber by the Real Sea


Cold and final, the imagination
Shuts down its fabled summer house;
Blue views are boarded up; our sweet vacation
Dwindles in the hour-glass.


Thoughts that found a maze of mermaid hair
Tangling in the tide's green fall
Now fold their wings like bats and disappear
Into the attic of the skull.


We are not what we might be; what we are
Outlaws all extrapolation
Beyond the interval of now and here:
White whales are gone with the white ocean.


A lone beachcomber squats among the wrack
Of kaleidoscope shells
Probing fractured Venus with a stick
Under a tent of taunting gulls.


No sea-change decks the sunken shank of bone
That chucks in backtrack of the wave;
Though the mind like an oyster labors on and on,
A grain of sand is all we have.


Water will run by; the actual sun
Will scrupulously rise and set;
No little man lives in the exacting moon
And that is that, is that, is that.

And that for tonight is that.

Not much to say

My body has stopped aching, and I am not as tired today.  Yesterday, I slept about 16 hours.  I think that I am over whatever it was that wiped me out.  I actually got out of the house today and went to a meeting tonight.  I was cornered by a lady after the meeting who was telling me about some things that she thought that I "should" do.  I extricated myself as quickly as possible and decided that she could go "should" all over someone else.

I have nothing much to say, other than the entire state has gone crazy because of the primary coming up.  The candidates are all trying to out do each other on digging up dirt.  I know that there is another whole year of this stuff to listen to, but really, I am sick to death of it.  I wish that they would complete the feeding frenzy, devour each other, and be done with it.

The weather is freaky with gale force winds whipping the coast.  I haven't been to the boat in a couple of days.  She will probably be coated with salt spray.  I like one of my new neighbors at the marina.  He and his wife actually would like to cruise to some of the spots that I like.  It's nice to meet other couples who get away from the marina and like to anchor out. We are planning some upcoming cruising weekends.

My father-in-law has a birthday coming up on Jan. 15.  My birthday is on Jan. 17.  We are going to celebrate his 91st. birthday over here.  I'm going to fix his favorite meal of oyster stew and Lowcountry Boil (aka Frogmore Stew).  The oyster stew is my father's recipe from the Chesapeake Bay: Fry some bacon,  add celery and onions, some butter, and saute the oysters and their "liquor" with some milk.  Delicious!

The boil ingredients are local white shrimp, corn on the cob, sausage, and new potatoes with some Zatarain's seasoning added.  Frogmore is a small community on St. Helena Island--in the southern part of the Lowcountry.  The origin of the boil supposedly goes back to the Gullah who lived on the sea islands of coastal South Carolina.  They would throw together what was available in a large pot, add spices and feed a lot of people quickly.  It has become a party favorite in modern times as well.

This year, I don't feel like celebrating much.  I think that my wife and I will go to a movie and have an early dinner afterwards.  On this birthday, I am not going to be anywhere near age 91, but every year that goes by now, makes me wish the days would last longer and the years would slow down.

That's it for today.  A little history, a couple of food photos, and some social commentary is all I've got.  Maybe something more will come to mind tomorrow.

Hoppin' John

I made it to my destination in Florida.  Traffic was surprisingly light.  I was driving 75 mph and people were flying by me like there was a firecracker up their butt.  People in Florida sure do put the hammer down.

My main concern on the drive was getting some collard greens and Hoppin' John.  Hoppin' John is the Southern US version of a traditional rice and beans dish eaten throughout West Africa.  It consists of black-eyed peas or field peas and rice, with chopped onion and sliced bacon or ham hock. Smaller than black-eyed peas, field peas are used in the Low Country of South Carolina and Georgia; black-eyed peas are the norm elsewhere.

Throughout the coastal South, eating Hoppin' John on New Year's Day is thought to bring a prosperous year filled with luck.  Collard greens, kale, turnip greens, and mustard greens eaten along with this dish are supposed to add to the wealth since they are the color of money.  Another traditional New Year's Day food, cornbread, also represents wealth since it is the color of gold.

I was getting worried until I found a diner where they served up the money and good luck as part of a vegetable plate along with some corn bread. I was happy! So if you missed out on some peas, greens, and corn bread, there is always next year.

Today, I'm going to mosey around a bit.  Maybe check out the marinas.  I'll help my friend get settled in his accommodations where he will be studying for the next few weeks.  I've already checked the Al-Anon schedule and will be going to a meeting tonight.  I'm going to call the local AIS to make sure of the meeting schedule.  We will probably also hit some open AA meetings as well.  There is a 12 step house not far from here.

The first day of 2012 has been good to me.  But it has been hard on others. My wife misunderstood when the caregivers were returning so she spent New Year's Eve at her parents' home.  She got home yesterday around noon and was so relieved.  I know that she won't be doing the night shift for an entire week again.  I told her that I thought it would be too much and now she agrees.

And to the bloggers out there who have been having troubles with family members, all I can say is take care of yourself.  Giving up your own life to try to save someone else's doesn't work.  Two people are then lost.  I know that you love your child, spouse, husband, friend, etc. but you cannot save them.  And meanwhile the "normal" people in the family become less happy and more mixed up in the disease of alcoholism/addiction.  It took a lot of painful reminders for me to finally understand that I was not only harming myself but others when I tried to love them out of their disease.  If you think that you have that kind of power, I have news for you--the disease will kill you from stress, worry, and anxiety.  The martyr role is not going to stop the disease either.  I finally understood the words "keep the focus on yourself" that my sponsor hammered into me.  I get it.

Okay, that's it for now.  Time to find a grocery store.