Another week gone before I can blink

The weather has finally turned to fall here.  I was out on the boat for several days this week and have to say that it was something that I have missed.  The boat is my sanctuary, my place to get away from anything complicated. Sometimes there are unexpected visitors who just pass by and say "hello".

The only complication that I have had in the last week was having a kidney stone which was a terrible pain.  I've not had the pleasure of dealing with that before and hope to not have one again.  I went to the ER because the pain came on suddenly late in the evening.  And I could not stop vomiting after each wave of pain.  Anyway, I am okay now.  The ER doc told me it was like the pain experienced by women in childbirth.  I have a new appreciation for that level of pain.

The winter garden is finally in.  It is a great relief to have the tired summer plants removed and the winter ones in the ground.  It takes a lot of work to maintain things around here.  The older we get the more it seems to take too.

The service for my friend and mentor was a high Catholic funeral mass. I had just gotten out of the ER and was still feeling dopey from the pain medications they had given me.  When the priest said that my friend was gone forever from this life--laughter gone, voice gone, smiles gone--well, I had to smile because I have voice messages on my phone wishing me a happy birthday last year and other messages that I like to listen to.  And I have the memories of our time spent together.  Gone from sight is true but living on in my memory as long as possible.

Today, we are going to an oyster roast which should be a good time.  It's the first one of the season.  We are enjoying all that Fall brings. We have had several fires in the outdoor fireplace, and last night had dinner on the deck sitting around the fire.  Life is going smoothly right now.  I am glad that there is peace and quiet in my little world.  I keep hoping that will extend outward as I do my part to convey the happiness that I feel inside.

The Shadow

Yesterday was one of those days that I would like to not have. I went to bed on Sunday evening watching news about Hurricane Odile on a collision path with Cabo San Lucas.  Now I have only been there one time, but the place was amazing. I thought about the open air restaurants, the simple houses where the residents live, the beggar lady Maria I met at the marina, the marina with all the boats, the horses at the ranch where I rode through the desert, the economy that depends almost totally on tourism.

So I awoke yesterday in the wee hours to see Cabo decimated by a Cat 3 hurricane.  I saw the beautiful airport in shambles, the barrios destroyed, the fancy resorts blown out and the marina trashed.  I heard some people being interviewed saying that everything will be cleaned up in two weeks. How is that possible when it is likely that power won't be back on for at least that long? Anyway,  seeing the damage in photos was bad but living through a Cat 3 gives a whole other definition to hell.

After looking as long as I could at the damage in Cabo, I checked email to learn that a long-time friend died in her sleep early Monday morning. She had just been at an event on Saturday with one of her beloved dogs.  Her last post to everyone on Sunday night was about how happy she was that her dog did well. I'm glad that she had a good two days and died happy.  She was a quiet, unassuming person who loved animals and her family.  She also suffered from rheumatoid arthritis which took her away from riding and competing with her dogs. But she still managed to get around with a cane.

I am not stunned anymore by people dying.  I am sad but realize that more and more of my friends are going to die as time passes.  Over the past year, death has simply been a factor in my life.  It is there like a shadow sometimes, especially on days like yesterday.

I prefer to not have the shadow near me and opt for bright sparkling water, ocean breezes and light days.  I keep the shadow away by traveling to the edge of the marsh.  The grass is going to seed, swaying in the breeze, changing color with the season.  It's an unsettled time of year with thunderstorms threatening in the distance, large cumulonimbus clouds building, and the light changing and moving like the leaves up in the trees.  At these moments, I am so glad to be alive, fully and with such a feeling of love deep inside my soul.

That's what I am feeling at this moment.  Love and peace to you all.

Getting close

Christmas is just around the corner, and we have been busy.  As I mentioned in a previous post, this is the year of making presents for people.  So one of the favorite things to make is pepper jelly from our home-grown peppers and my mother's recipe.  I chopped and my wife cooked enough to fill a few dozen jars with red and green jelly. We even made labels for the top and will give them to friends who attend our open house party on Boxing Day.

This evening, my wife was putting the icing on a wonderful orange pound cake that she decorated with marzipan candies.  That cake was going to her home group meeting.  I am hoping for a small slice when she gets home.  She has baked every Wednesday for this group for about five years.  It's what she likes to do, and the people at the meeting seem to really appreciate it.  A couple more cakes will be forthcoming over the weekend as gifts to some elderly couples we know.

In another spurt of inspiration,  we decided to make some hand scrub as gifts.  It sells for quite a bit of money in the city gift shops and is in just about every restaurant rest room downtown.  So we made some using epsom salts, olive oil with orange-clove fragrance and another with vanilla-almond scent.  It was easy to do and looked really great when we were done.

About the only sad note is that a friend who has been active in both AA and Al-Anon for decades was diagnosed on Monday with pancreatic cancer.  We don't know the stage or any details but know that if it can be beaten, our friend will manage to do it.  

And the parents-in-law are fragile but doing reasonably well. I took Pop for a ride on Sunday to see the lights and to get him a milk shake.  He is starting to lose some of his mental acuity, alternating between making sense and senseless babble. One of the nurses said that the main thing keeping him alive is the lactulose that prevents a buildup of ammonia in his blood due to his cirrhotic liver. I see them continuing to decline. But I think that both of us have come to terms with the inevitable. 

I know that many of you are feeling the crunch of the holidays.  We feel much less stressed this year and really grateful.  We are actually having fun with being "elves".  Who knew? 

Giving thanks

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I think it's because there's very little about it that has been commercialized. There's no gifts to give, no stress of decorating, but just a lot of good food, friends and family. It's about being thankful for the bountiful things that surround us. It's about being with family, eating too much, taking a nap, sitting by a fire, and just relaxing.

When I was child,  Thanksgiving was the first holiday of the year where turkey was cooked. And there was always a Smithfield ham--that hard, old ham with the strong flavor that Virginians love. And there was sage dressing, oyster stew, corn pudding, yams, a tray of spiced apples and peaches and sweet pickles, and sweet potato pie, mince pie or apple pie for dessert with real churned ice cream. 

The old bone handled knives that my father and grandfather used to carve turkey and ham

Something about the condiment tray that my mother had brings back such a flood of memories. I used to like the spiced peaches that had little cloves stuck in them.  She would also have cranberry relish that she made herself.  My father made the pickles that came from cucumbers in his garden.  I now realize how foreign those things are today--that someone actually makes pickles and even has a condiment tray.  It was old school and is a tradition that we still honor.

All of this was served on the old Hepplewhite table in the big dining room. My father would carve the turkey and the ham with the bone- handled knife that has been in the family for generations. After dinner, everyone would retire to the living room where a fire would be burning in the fireplace. 

It was a time that remarkably didn't have a lot of drinking.  I could feel relaxed because my father was too busy helping in the kitchen, making the gravy for the turkey, and cooking his famous oyster stew. The relatives would be there, drinks would be served, but I can't remember Thanksgiving at home being a bad time when I was a child.  It was as if the day itself transformed people.

And on this current day, it is too warm for a fire. We have prepared a movable feast to take to C.'s parents at their home.  Not all, but some of the same food from my childhood Thanksgivings h
as been prepared.  Later in the day,  I will go to the hospital to visit with a friend's family.  He has invited me to join them in the hospital cafeteria for a Thanksgiving meal.  It won't be anything fancy, but it will have a lot of meaning to his mother who is now in physical rehab after a hip replacement, and to my friend.  

Thanksgiving is about being grateful for not just food but for the good friends and family that we have. It's like a lineage of good feelings on this day. And those feelings are precious and worth holding onto. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I'm still here

I lost yet another colleague and friend this week. We have known each other since graduate school. He was a funny fellow with an infectious laugh. We partied together back then. It was a time of working hard and partying hard. We spent lots of time together on research vessels, exploring wondrous things from the depths of the ocean.

Two years ago he came to my lab to work on some collections that I had. He was an expert in his field. It was good to reconnect with him. We no longer were into partying but instead would talk about where we had been and what was important to us now. He had recently married after many years of dalliances with beautiful women. He married a plain woman with a good heart who loved him to the core. He said that he felt settled and happy, reconnected with his children. Not long after that, he was diagnosed with lung cancer (note: He never smoked but developed a severe respiratory infection after entering a bat infested tree in the Amazon. The doctors were unsure whether this was a contributing cause or not). He is another bright light gone much too soon.

I remember my mother telling me in her 90's that as one grows older, it can be hard because there will be few old friends left. She said that she was glad though to still be around and hoped to be the last one standing. I thought at the time that would be a lonely thing--to be the last one in your group of friends still alive. But I'm beginning to appreciate what she meant.

I am not an old man by any means. I am younger than those who predeceased me. So I wonder why it is that I am still here. I was thinking this last night as I was rowing under a crystal clear sky on water that was slick and dark. Why am I still breathing, experiencing the wonders of this world, loving, touching, seeing? It is inexplicable in a way.

I know that genes have something to do with it. Maybe luck as well. Yet, I somehow think that perhaps there is some other reason. I am hoping that God isn't through with me yet. And that there is still much work to be done with myself and others. Maybe it's best to not ask the Why question at all but to take a bit from Tennyson: "Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die".

Thursday thanks

This has seemed like a long week. Thankfully, today is the last day of the work week for me. I have tomorrow off. I'm staying in the day but also looking forward to a few days off.

Other than work today, I plan to go to the noon meeting. I'm meeting my wife afterwards to run an errand for the house. This evening, a friend is coming by to visit.

I plan on going on the boat. The fireworks for the July 4 celebration will be held about 500 yards from where the boat is docked. It's always a spectacular show. I remember going with my parents to see the fireworks when I was a kid. The fireworks shows of today are much bigger and more elaborate. I'll probably buy a few rockets to take with us so that we can have a little show on the island where we anchor the boat.

It's been hotter than a firecracker this week. And it looks like the heat wave will continue through the weekend. I don't think that there is any rain in the forecast until Sunday. And this is just early July. The garden is doing well because of an irrigation system. And the vegetables have been great. The corn crop got shared with the raccoons but that's okay. They have to eat too.

I don't have much else to share except some gratitude:

• I'm grateful for an invigorating row last night. We were bucking the wind and tide for over an hour and a half. The cheers from the tourists always help motivate when the muscles are straining.
  
• I'm thankful for those people in my life who are there when I need to talk. Yesterday, I contacted a few of you and you were there.
• I'm grateful for not disliking or hating anyone today. My capacity for acceptance seems to increase in proportion to my gratitude.
  
• I'm glad to be able to let go of a resentment yesterday by speaking my truth, looking at my part, and then moving on.
  
• I'm glad that I can disengage from the news and go read a good book. I'm tired of the media's fascination with the macabre.
  

Have a good Thursday.

Friday staff meeting

For some perverse reason, we always have our staff meetings on Friday. Right before the weekend we get all the news that's good and we get all the news that's bad.

In research at the current time, there isn't much good news in terms of funding. I think that marine science is incredibly important but most of the sciences are suffering in terms of budget cuts. Since all the "sheet" hit the fan on the economy, we've taken over a 40% cut in our operating budget. And today's happy little meeting was about possible furloughs and another cut coming. This is the first time that the F word has been brought up, other than many years ago when there was a nationwide recession.

But I have to look at the reality of living in a relatively poor state where education is near last, foreclosures are increasing, and unemployment is high. Under the current scenario worldwide, there isn't going to much emphasis placed on science of the oceans when so many other dire circumstances are occurring. People are interested in saving their homes, their jobs, getting medical care, and feeding the family.

In the big picture, I realize that I'm powerless over all of this. And I do have a lot of happiness for today. I have a job. I enjoy my work. I know that there is much more to be done in this field. And it's Friday which means that I get to spend a couple of days out on the boat breathing in salt air, snuggling by the fire, and going for walks. There are a lot of good things to focus on in this day.

Scenes from the weekend

We spent Saturday going out to the island anchorage in a heavy fog. It was calm though and made for enjoyable sleeping. Being in the fog is so disorienting but with GPS we were able to navigate without problems. It was a lot of fun and really peaceful.

We didn't get up until after 9 AM. Then we rowed the dinghy to shore, walked on the beach, and made a fire. After enjoying that for a few hours, we went back to Compass Rose for a great breakfast of steak, eggs, and grits.

Here are some photos from the weekend.




Tomorrow is back to a full work week. What a great weekend to end the holiday with.

Coal and switches

The above photo is of the Christmas tree is our parlor. It's a 9 foot fir tree that smells great. The tree is decorated with antique ornaments as well as many hand made by various relatives. And there are the bubble lights that I was fascinated with as a kid. One of my favorite ornaments is an old one that has little blades that rotate based on heat given off by a bulb placed underneath it. You can see this unique ornament in the center of the photo below.

I remember how exciting it was to wake up on Christmas morning--usually about 5 AM or earlier. It was hard to stay in bed, but I was taught to wait until my parents were up and about.

My dad, ever the realist, would tell me that for his Christmas he was happy if he received some oranges and pieces of hoar hound candy. This made me feel terribly sorry for him. In fact, I would feel guilty about receiving anything when he was so deprived. He also told me that if a child misbehaved they will find coal and switches on Christmas morning instead of the toys that they wished for. I would then work diligently to be as good as I could be so that I wouldn't come down to a sack of coal or those dreaded switches.

I suppose that as I look back on this bit of guilt that was heaped on my head, I could have built up a lot of resentment. Instead, I think that what my father told me made me appreciate how lucky I was and that there were children who got little or nothing for Christmas. His stories made me realize over the years that it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Christmas spirit

Shadow graciously gave me this award about Christmas Spirit. Thanks Shadow! I do like Christmas.

I'm posting the "rules":
*the person to whom you give the award must also be in love with christmas
* you must link back to the person who gave you the award
* you must list 5 things that you love about christmas. if you can’t limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space!
* pass the award along to as many people as you like. that can be 1 or 50. it’s up to you. but, you must pass it one to at least one person in order to keep the christmas cheer going!
* let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment


So I'm going to post some things that I like about Christmas.

1. I like the candles in the windows and the lights on the trees. Because it's a dreary time of year, it's nice to come home to see the tree lights on and the candles lit.

2. I like the idea of having time off to relax and be lazy. We can snuggle, watch movies, read books, and do just what we want to do.

3. I like the feeling of doing something special for others. It's what it's all about: to surprise others with something nice, to say I care, to give without expectations. It's just a warm feeling inside about everything.

4. I like the food and preparing a good meal. Turkey, cranberry sauce, oyster stew, ham, cornbread stuffing, crab casserole, shrimp and grits--all are staples for a Christmas dinner that incorporates foods from Virginia and those from the Lowcountry.

5. I like the music and the parades. Christmas music is special and reminds me of my grandmother singing to me. And the parades are just plain fun. Everyone loves a parade.

I'm going to pass this on to:
Jess--http://christianchickblog.blogspot.com/
Trailboss--http://ilovehorses-trailboss.blogspot.com/
Pam--http://sobriety-is-exhausting.blogspot.com/
Mary Christine--http://marychristineg.blogspot.com/
Findon--http://therapaciouscreditor.blogspot.com/

What I like about where I live

Pam got me thinking about writing this post. I do a gratitude list about my life fairly regularly but haven't written about my gratitude for the place that I call home. I'll provide a few pictures like Trailboss did to give you a feel for the place.

So here's what I like about this place that I call home:

• It has water as an integral element. I look out my office window to this view every day.
• Living history without all the contrived stuff that goes along with it.
• Winter is cold enough without having a lot of snow and ice.
• The pace of life is slower.

• A much more mannerly place than others that I have visited. People smile and say "hello".
• Fresh seafood and a chance to catch your own
• Great restaurants with great food for us foodie heads
• Lots of interesting things to do and very little chance to get bored.
• Has a lot of cultural arts for those who enjoy music, art, dance, and other high brow things.
• Great shopping for those who enjoy more high brow things.
• Old trees and Spanish moss

And then here are some of the things that I don't like:

1. Really hot and really humid weather
2. No-see-ums
3. Traffic and more traffic
4. Sprawl and strip malls
5. Still living the Civil Wawah
6. And the one above means that there is a face of civility but underneath some prejudice lingers.
   
7. Pretentions abound
8. Too many tourists (didn't they see Nos. 1-4 above).
   

And now for a few fun things about this place:

How do you know when you're staying in a South Carolina hotel?
"When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink."
and the person at the front desk says "go ahead".

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Things I've Learned Living in South Carolina:

A Possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

"Jaw-P" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"

People actually grow AND eat okra.

"Fixinto" is one word.

There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.

We do like a little tea with our sugar! And now we have a drink with vodka and sweet tea!

Backards and forards means "I know everything about you."

The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

You Know You're from South Carolina if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. You use "fix" as a verb. For example: "I'm fixing to go git somethin ta eat."

4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

5. You know what a "DAWG" is.

6. You carry jumper cables in your car. For your OWN car.

7. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

8. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.

9. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

10. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".

11. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

12. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."

13. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good soup weather.

Have a great Saturday!

A long day

It's been a long day here. I worked, got the boat out of the water, went rowing and finally got home at a little past 10 PM. Getting the mast down was difficult and took about all the strength that we had. Even then, it came crashing down at the last and my friend managed to move the mast "stepper" under it before it hit the boat's transom. It was a serenity breaker for a moment or two.

It looks for now that my neck of the woods is going to be spared from Hannah. But not hitting here means that it will likely go into NC so I wish everyone there well. I stayed through Hurricane Hugo, and it was a bad time. There was no electricity for 23 days. I'm not a fan of hurricanes because they cause a lot of misery, not to mention loss of life.

I'm still going to make preparations here at home. It never hurts to have things together just in case the power goes out for an extended period. I have a generator now which at least keeps the refrigerator, freezer, and well pump running.

I really feel as if I need a meeting. I've missed my regular ones this week. But tonight was a beautiful night with just a hint of fall. It felt good to be rowing on such a beautiful evening. Even without a meeting, I found my serenity at the end of the day. So I'm going to do my daily readings now, be thankful that I got some things accomplished today, and hope that tomorrow brings fair weather for all.

A beacon of light

I arrived in St. Augustine yesterday and went to a social at the lighthouse last night. It is a wonderful lighthouse and has been restored, along with the keeper's house. I climbed the 219 steps to a spectacular view of the surrounding maritime forest, beach and ocean. I watched the spoonbills fly to their rookery over the alligator preserve. And the sailboats at anchor made a nice backdrop.

One of the things that is particularly sad about the lighthouse is that in 1986, the first order Fresnel lens was shattered by bullets from a high powered rifle. According to the docent, a 14 year old boy, high on drugs, took his father's hunting rifle and shot at the light. Bullets shattered nineteen prisms in the historic lens. A grant was obtained eventually to restore the prisms. So as the lighthouse keeper said, the knowledge gained from restoration of the lens has helped others in their restoration of Fresnel lenses.

So with a lot of effort by local preservationists, the old beacon still shines and projects pure white light. I'm glad that the effort was made and that a part of history was preserved.

Somebody's Mother

The woman was old and ragged and gray
And bent with the chill of the winter's day.
The street was wet with the recent snow,
And the woman's feet were aged and slow.

She stood at the crossing and waited long
Alone, uncared for, amid the throng
Of human beings who passed her by,
Nor heeded the glance of her anxious eye.

Down the street with laughter and shout.
Glad in the freedom of "school let out,"
Came the boys like a flock of sheep,
Hailing the snow piled white and deep.

Past the woman so old and gray
Hastened the children on their way,
Nor offered a helping hand to her,
So meek, so timid, afraid to stir,
Lest the carriage wheels or the horses' feet
Should crowd her down in the slippery street.

At last came one of the merry troop,
The gayest laddie of all the group;
He paused beside her and whispered low,
"I'll help you across if you wish to go."

Her aged hand on his strong young arm
She placed, and so, without hurt or harm,
He guided her trembling feet along,
Proud that his own were firm and strong.

Then back again to his friends he went,
His young heart happy and well content.
"She's somebody's mother, boys, you know,
For all she's aged and poor and slow;

"And I hope some fellow will lend a hand
To help my mother, you understand,
If ever she's poor and old and gray,
When her own dear boy is far away."

And "somebody's mother" bowed low her head
In her home that night, and the prayer she said
Was, "God be kind to the noble boy
Who is somebody's son and pride and joy."--Author Unknown

I am grateful for the mother who gave birth to me and loved me unconditionally on this day. Hope that you have a peaceful day.

Taxing time

I had a great weekend. I spent Saturday and Sunday on Compass Rose. Saturday's sail was not easy because of strong winds. I couldn't get where I wanted to go so had to anchor behind the bird rookery for a few hours. Then a miraculous shift in the wind occurred, enabling me to sail to my destination.

There were campers on the island and I met a few of them. Nice people who seemed to care that the island be maintained in its current state. I hope that it will be because it's one of the last undeveloped large islands near the city. In a time where every conceivable piece of property seems to be the target of developers, it's nice to have a place that is still wild but within proximity to the city.

I sailed back on Sunday after a good breakfast and a walk on the beach. I wish that I could have stayed longer but taxes were calling. They're done and ready to be mailed today. My wife and I owe around $7 K for Federal. It seems that if you make money, you owe money. Such is life. I'm just glad that I'm able to pay them.

Tonight's my home group meeting. I'm looking forward to that. This afternoon, I'm going to take annual leave and work on staining book cases for the library. We're almost done with the library and I should be able to post photos soon.

Anyway, have a great Monday. Take it easy and enjoy what the day offers. I'll catch up with you later.

Pitfalls

This morning I took my beloved BMW 330 Ci in for servicing because the check engine light came on. When I got to the BMW dealer, they scanned the key and told me that Blue wasn't due for full servicing until another 5000 miles. The check engine light was due to the gas cap not being tight enough (sensitive little bugger). They decided to check a wiper blade and the head of the service department went out to find one of the mechanics. She told me to grab a cup of coffee which I did.

Anyway, I saw her walking back with a mechanic and went out only to hear her say, "I'm so sorry. I left your car in neutral without the brake on and it rolled into another car." The result is that Blue has a badly scraped and bent right rear bumper.

This is a high class and very professional dealership so I knew that all would be okay. I reassured the lady that sometimes things just happen. One of the fellows in the office said that if everyone had my attitude the world would be a better place.

So I'm driving a new BMW M coupe until tomorrow. Blue is going to get detailed and the scrape and dent will be gone. She's bent but not broken.

I feel good that I wasn't upset in the least. And I'm glad that I could ease the mind of the apologetic and worried service manager by telling her that the important thing was that no one was hurt. Sometimes, crap just happens. And Shadow and I can laugh at the fact that our cars are a bit damaged but will be good as new soon.

In the mean time, zoom zoom.

It is clear the future holds opportunities - it also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to seize the opportunities, avoid the pitfalls, and get back home by 6:00.
--Woody Allen

Moody Monday

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm back at work after a great weekend. Or maybe it's that today is my dad's birthday and some sadness that he is no longer here. And then it could be that I learned this morning that one of my favorite employees has decided to take another position that is a step up (who can blame her?). At any rate, I'm struggling to stay focused on my gratitude and not slip into feeling down and out.

I am grateful for having a wonderful weekend that I shared with the person I love. I'm grateful for all the birthdays that I spent with my father before he died. And I'm grateful for having had a great employee for 7 years who has been an asset not only to my department but to the agency as a whole.

I guess that I like the certitude in things. I don't like to think about losses or endings. I've never liked to change houses, change jobs, or do any of the many other things that involve ending something and moving onto something else. I must be a creature of habit. Or I must have fears that stem from losing someone or something. I know the latter is true because of my Fourth and Fifth Steps. The truth is I miss people when they leave.

I do have an AA and Al-Anon Christmas party to go to tonight. It should be good. I'm just doing my best to think gratitude and not sorrow.

Fourth of July

This is the view looking out over the Harbor just before the fireworks began. The weather was perfect yesterday, almost like a fall day with a clear blue sky and nice temperatures. The beach wasn't crowded and it was nice to sink my feet into the warm sand and just watch the show.

I like the feel of holidays when I see people just having a good time. There were kids making sand castles and people with pillar candles lit lying on blankets. It was a really nice evening.

Lunch with my sponsor is always a treat. I always learn so much and it is nice to have this person trust me and me to trust back. What a lucky person I am to have my sponsor and this program. Every day I am grateful for those things and the events that propelled me to get help for myself. It works, it really does.

I hope that everyone had a good Fourth whether with family, friends or just in harmony with your own being.

Final stop

We got into port where the ship will be until we head back out on Friday morning. We docked at a port authority where there was about a mile to walk to get to the gate that let you out onto the main thoroughfare. One of the deck crew and I trudged along with the idea that we didn't want to party in this port but wanted to get home. We were going to take a cab to the airport where we would get a rental car and drive the 2.5 hours to get home. This part of town wasn't exactly where lots of taxis went though as it was a rough area with a lot of strip clubs and convenience stores with bars on the windows.

Just as we got to the gate, one of the electronics technicians who had literally missed the boat in Miami drove up. He had been out partying the night before, was still drunk the next morning, and didn't wake up to the alarm. He never made it to the ship in time. Anyway, he offered to give us a ride to the airport. We were grateful to say the least.

Luckily, there were cars to be rented at that late hour, so we got one and headed home. I walked in the door just a few minutes before midnight. I guess that the HP was looking over us because we made it out of that other port to the home port. I'm grateful for that.

Interesting time in port

It was an interesting in port. Miami is a surreal place but to be at the Port Authority and watch the mammoth cruise ships come in was even more surreal. We docked around 11 PM on Thursday. During the night the Majestic came in so when I went out on deck in the morning, there is was. Some of us got off the ship after we docked to walk around for a bit. It was nice to be on terra firma.

Tonight was interesting as it was our first full day in port. There were quite a few of the scientific staff who were feeling no pain when they arrived on the ship. One of the ladies had to be carried back on board. Seeing the scientist being hauled on board made me think how glad I am that I'm not having to be around that level of drunkeness anymore. I won't wax philosophical about how drinking changes the personality or any of that since you already are well aware of that.

I had gone out to walk around during the morning but was back on board to talk to the crew and get a full tour of the engine room and rope lockers in the evening. I was really impressed with the below deck engine area. It was totally spotless and highly organized. Anyway, we are getting underway in the morning. I would rather have just kept our rhythm of sampling and not had to stop. That way we would have gotten home a couple of days early. Soon, soon....