Drinking in the New Year

I hope that you had a good beginning to 2016.  It seems that a lot of people are struggling with the aftermath of the holiday season. The rooms have been fairly packed with people who have found that living with alcoholism is a struggle. Just about every meeting is filled.  People come in and are lost from a holiday season filled with drinking and out of control behavior.  They feel lost, angry and are struggling in their relationships with problem drinkers.  Sadly, this happens every year.  Some of the newcomers stick around for the miracle of recovery while others decide that they can control the drinking of another.  The merry-go-round continues.

I received an email from someone who was saying that it was difficult to live with active alcoholism.  And how hard it is when our culture seems to think that drinking to excess is okay and socially acceptable.

First off, living with active alcoholism was a nightmare for me.  And I know that even with Al-Anon, it would be impossible for me to stay in a relationship with active alcoholic drinking.  My struggle to rescue and enable is still very real. And that does more harm to the alcoholic in many ways.  I can feel the anxiety as I type this, thinking about what it used to be like.  If I were to have any peace, I would not again live with an alcoholic who is not serious about recovery.

As far as our society glamorizing alcohol, I see it a lot in social groups, although most of us now have realized that drinking every day is not only unhealthy but not sustainable. That being said, the young people I am around seem to revel in partying and drinking.  This is a college town so there are plenty who get sick from alcohol toxicity.  And I think to myself that there will be a place for them in the rooms of AA someday if they don't stop.  Sadly, because alcoholism is a progressive disease, they may not be able to stop.  Those who can't will keep it up until they are real alcoholics.

I remember what my wife's sponsor said: "If what you hear at a meeting drives you out, alcohol will drive you back in." I believe that is true for both programs of AA and Al-Anon.  I am glad that I stayed and have continued.  It isn't a solution for everyone, but it was one that I could embrace and where I found peace of mind.

Sending good thoughts to you.

Easter Weekend and a study on alcohol use

We had a nice Easter weekend, going out on the boat and staying from Friday through Sunday.  Although it was windy,  the temperatures were up in the 60's (F) which made it comfortable for walking the beach.

I thought a lot about the meaning of Easter.  And here is my take on it: There was a very giving fellow many years ago. He may or may not be very special to you, but he continued to give as others took. I think of him as an incredible poet that wrote with his actions. And his actions were simply to give...as others took and humiliated him, made jokes of him, his words and actions...as others beat him and laughed at his pain, he steadfastly gave...simply gave all that he had to give. I look for that poet today....his body long gone, his poetry remains....Easter is a remembrance of this.

Sunsets are an awesome part of the day on the water

Our Labrador is relaxing after a row to shore and a beach walk

Getting to shore in the dinghy can be exciting when it's windy

Because I am supportive of graduate studies, having been a graduate student myself many years ago, I am posting here a request from CJ who is working towards his Ph.D. in clinical psychology.  Read what he has to say about his research and give him a hand by filling out his survey.  All results are anonymous and you will get to be a part of a study that will hopefully be published.  Good stuff.

__________________________________________


Dear Readers of I'm just F.I.N.E., 
My name is CJ and I am a graduate student working towards my Ph.D. in clinical psychology. I am currently working on my dissertation research, which focuses on a partner's role in a person's decision to seek help for alcohol use issues. I first became interested in researching alcohol use issues when I began working at a VA hospital in my hometown. The number of veterans who are returning with problematic alcohol use is increasing at an alarming rate. Working with this population led me to look into alcohol use issues more broadly, and I found that there is a major discrepancy between the number of people who struggle with alcohol on a regular basis and the number of people who seek any kind of help for it (ranging anywhere from participating in online forums to participating in more focused meetings or treatment). This has the potential to be a major issue given that alcohol use can be a risk factor for suicide, domestic violence, and other serious issues with family and employment.

I am passionate now about understanding and bridging this gap between the need in the community and the resources that are available. In my graduate work, I have focused on working with couples in a clinical setting and in my research, and so it was my natural inclination to try to understand this issue from a family perspective. Broadly, I am interested in knowing if and how a person's partner plays a major role in his/her decision to seek help for alcohol problems. Is it often a person's spouse who convinces him/her to speak to someone about alcohol problems, or are other factors more important? Does a spouse's own drinking behavior or help-seeking behavior play a role in a drinker's decision about his/her own behavior? Given the important role of the family in our overall mental and physical health, I expect that a person's partner plays a major role in many of his/her decisions, but I hope to understand this phenomena better, again to find ways to bridge the gap between those who may need to make a change and the services available to them.

To participate in my research project, please see the information below. The study is intended for both members of a married couple (you will be directed accordingly based on whether you are the partner who has expressed concern or you are the partner whom your spouse is concerned about), and is entirely anonymous. The study is completed entirely online, and should take each partner about 20 minutes. Please click on the link below to get started.

Thanks and best wishes!
CJ

Participate in a survey on couples and alcohol use and enter to win a raffle!

Are you and your spouse legally married (or in a civil union) and at least 18 years of age?
Do you or your partner currently consume alcoholic beverages at least once a month?
Is alcohol use an area of disagreement in your marriage?

If you answered yes to the above questions, you and your spouse are eligible to participate in a research survey regarding the relationship between your marriage and your alcohol-related help seeking behaviors. When you complete the survey, you will each be entered into a raffle for one of four $50 Amazon.com gift cards!

The survey will take each participant approximately 20 minutes, and survey responses will be anonymous.

Please start here:
https://surveys.clarku.edu/AlcoholUseSurveyStart.aspx
 
This study has been approved by the Clark Committee for the Rights of Human Participants in Research and Training Programs (IRB). Any questions about human rights issues should be directed to the IRB Chair, Dr. James P. Elliott, 508-793-7152, jelliott@clarku.edu. The study is being conducted by C.J. Fleming, M.A. and James Cordova, Ph.D. in the Psychology Department at Clark University. Please feel free to contact the researcher ( alcoholusesurveyemail@gmail.com ) or the research supervisor ( jcordova@clarku.edu ) with any questions or concerns.

Guest Post: Effects of Alcoholism and Behavioral Problems with Teenagers

Occasionally, I get offers for guest posts.  I thought that this one would be helpful for those parents who might have a teenage child.  Some of my questions in reading this are:
1. Alcoholism may also lead to use of drugs.  What are the statistics on that?
2. How is the best way to educate young people about the dangers of drinking? 3. Recent research has shown that a single gene variation is connected to alcoholism.  If alcoholism can be traced to a particular gene or combination of genes, then couldn't it be helpful in identifying youngsters at risk of becoming alcoholics and perhaps lead to early prevention efforts?

Many thanks to Adeline for writing the article. Please provide your comments and questions.  Hopefully, Adeline will be able to provide her responses.

Effects of Alcoholism and Behavioral Problems with Teenagers

Alcohol addiction may be one of the problems that parents may experience with teens. If you are not aware of how alcohol affects your teen, you may be putting them in danger and at far greater risks than you can imagine. That’s why the first thing that you have to do as a parent is to know why your child may be suffering from alcoholism.

Reasons for Alcoholism
There can be many reasons why a teenager may result to alcohol abuse. Some concerned parents have asked whether alcoholism can be inherited. While genetics is not a determinant of alcohol abuse, it increases the risk for related behaviors. For example, a teen growing up in a household where another relative is an alcoholic is more likely to exhibit the same likeness for alcohol. Peer pressure can also be a factor for teenage drinking. Teens are concerned with fitting in with the crowd, so turning down a bottle of beer from a friend can have serious social side effects. At first this may not lead to alcohol abuse, but in the long term, it can definitely turn a social drinker into an alcoholic. Drinking large amounts of alcoholic beverages can also be an expression of independence. It makes teens feel that they are doing something that grownups can do freely. Whatever their reason may be, once teenagers get used to drinking too often (and too much), it can lead to alcoholism.

Behavior Problems Related to Alcoholism 
It is no secret that being drunk blurs one’s perception and reasoning. Teens are more likely to do careless actions that may later put them in danger (or worse, in jail) because of drinking. Teenagers who drink more than they should at one time are more likely to display aggressive, hyperactive, attention-seeking, uncontrollable, and dangerous behavior in public. Stealing, fighting with weapons, vandalizing, practicing unsafe sex – these are just some behaviors that are common among teenagers who are under the influence of alcohol. They may even be more of a danger to others than to themselves, especially when they get  behind the wheel of a car. Did you know that 28% of 15- to 20-year old teens have died in car crashes because of drunk driving? Clearly, alcohol abuse among teenagers is NOT normal, and it is NOT part of the growing up phase.

Aside from these dangerous and destructive acts, alcohol addiction in teenagers can also lead to psychological distress. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration also shows that 31% of alcoholic teenagers suffer from extreme levels of distress that can lead to depression and even suicide. As for those who have not yet hit rock bottom, the effects of too much drinking are evident in the classroom. A drinking problem can make a teenager inefficient in school, causing him or her to fall behind classes or eventually drop out. Too much alcohol consumption damages the brain and the nervous system, which could impede learning abilities.

If we do not do anything to educate teens on moderate drinking, we could be in for a total disaster.

About the Author
Adeline is a writer and stay-at-home parent from Winnipeg. She writes about students, teenagers, and touchy subjects such as alcohol addiction in teenagers for The Family Compass, and other online publications.

References
Casa Palmera: The Effects of Alcohol Abuse on Teens;
[http://casapalmera.com/the-effects-of-alcohol-abuse-on-teens/]

Alcohol Cost Calculator: Teens’ Alcohol Problems;
[http://www.alcoholcostcalculator.org/kids/teens/print-teens.php]

Project Know: Teen Problems with Alcoholism;
[http://www.projectknow.com/research/teen-problems-with-alcoholism/]