Content in boredom

We have been enjoying the wildlife camera (Bird Cam Pro) that I gave to my wife for Christmas.  I have to say that the wireless connection wasn't easy so I spent about a full day trying to get that set up to no avail.  But if we simply download the individual photos by pulling the SD card, it's easy for even the technologically challenged.

We have gotten some good photos of birds at the feeders and the little masked bandits that come up in the wee hours to eat seeds.  I'm hoping that we will get to see some other animals like opossum and maybe wild turkeys because there are hundreds of the latter on the property.  It has been fun to look at the antics of the squirrels and raccoons.  It's the wilds out here on the island so all kinds of critters could wander by.  I doubt if we will see the bobcats or coyote unless we put out some kind of meat for them.

It has been rainy and cold for the past few days.  Today is the first day without rain, but it's still raw outside.  We have been burning logs in the fireplace insert which has helped a lot with keeping the house warm.  Other than going out for meetings, neither of us has left the property.  We walk down to get the mail and we go out to turn the dogs into their paddocks.  All of us seem lazy and lethargic, not wanting to stay outside for long. The cats stay near the hearth and the dogs are enjoying their new dog beds.  

We did have some friends over for dinner one night. They are an entertaining couple who work as estate managers in Europe and the Middle East. They live the real Downton Abbey and have stories that are fascinating about the woes of the princes and gentry whose estates they manage.  When they are done with a job, they retreat to their home in Greece or come to their home in Cambridge, MA.  It was nice to spend time with them, talking about society, mannerisms, lack of manners, and life in a small village in Greece.  

I did pick the last of the peppers from the garden so that we could make pepper jelly. The jelly jars are filled now with the green or red savory jelly. The collard greens from the garden were delicious on New Year's Day. I can't complain about the temperature down here.  I'm grateful that we don't have snow or below freezing temperatures all day like what the Northeast and Midwest are experiencing. 

I am supposed to go on the boat on Wednesday for a couple of days.  I don't mind the cold out there because the propane stove keeps the inside of the cabin warm.  It's getting to the anchorage that is chilly. And once at the anchorage, I can hibernate as much as I want, except for rowing the dog to shore for her walks and bathroom time. 

Nothing dramatic is going on.  I have no urgent items that I have to write about. I am utterly content in my rather boring life at the moment.

Flowing like water

Cooking up a pot of soup made with fresh vegetables from the garden trying to stave off worsening of a head cold. I have felt lousy for a few days, mostly only going out for those things that are necessary: picking vegetables, checking on the boat, and visiting a garden center to select urns and live plants for the funeral mass on Saturday. 

The deluge of rain and thunderstorms continues, flooding streets downtown and making our dirt road a soggy mess. But temperatures have been in the 80's which is bearable for this time of year. The plants are lush from the rain. It was magical going to the garden center where all the yard fountains were gurgling, echoed by the rain hitting the tin roof. I could simply have stayed there for an hour in meditation. Now we are thinking about getting a couple of these fountains for the yard and one for the deck.

In the process of losing three people whom I loved in the last 3.5 months, I have had a lot of time to think about living and dying. As a scientist, I know what happens to the body as we age. I have seen the ravages from disease. And I believe more than ever that prolonging life for the terminally ill is a reflection of fear and denial. So next week, I am going to meet with Hospice's volunteer coordinator and see what I can do as a volunteer to help those who are dying and those who are watching a loved one die. 

I hope that my time spent in working the twelve steps of Al- Anon will help me to practice the principles in this volunteer endeavor. I feel a strong need to do this--to give back and offer my experience, strength and hope to others who are struggling with impending death of a loved one. I feel this as strongly as I have felt the need to help others who are struggling with alcoholism in a loved one. 

Maybe this is another way for me to face my fear of loss and abandonment--a way to let go and simply be okay with the hardest kind of loss. 

Now it's time for more honey ginger tea and to make an eggplant casserole from the many plants we picked this morning. The rain is starting again. The dogs are inside, dried off and the cats are curled up in the big wing chair. All seems to be flowing like water from a beautiful fountain today.

Fresh starts and first footers

So today is a fresh start to a new year.  My reflections on the past year aren't really important because it's over. I accomplished some goals for myself, had many happy times, and had sad times because of the loss of friends and the failing health of my in-laws. I was dismayed by hatred, murder, bigotry and racism.  I was happy that the President was re-elected and that I was involved in doing my part to see that happen. I am glad that this first day of 2013 finds my wife sober and me working on my own recovery.  2012 was a year in the life--another one that I survived.

I don't know what is coming in the future, but do know that just for today I am not projecting about the future or living in the past. I am going to go to a party with some friends in recovery, see a movie, take down the Christmas decorations and eat some Hoppin' John and collard greens.

In the Lowcountry, eating Hoppin' John on New Year's Day is thought to bring a prosperous year filled with luck. The peas which can be black eyes or field peas are symbolic of luck. Collard greens, mustard greens, turnip greens, or kale along with this dish are thought to add to wealth since they are the color of money. Another traditional food, cornbread, can also be served to represent wealth, being the color of gold.  Right now, the collard greens are simmering with some ham, and the black eyes are seasoned and ready.


I also like the old traditions like First Footing. In British folk lore, the "first foot" is the first person to cross the threshold of a home on New Year's Day and is a bringer of good fortune for the coming year.  Although it is acceptable in many places for the first-footer to be a resident of the house, they must not be in the house at the stroke of midnight in order to first-foot (thus going out of the house after midnight and then coming back in to the same house is not considered to be first-footing). The first-foot is traditionally a tall, dark-haired male; a female or fair-haired male are in some places regarded as unlucky.

The first-foot usually brings several gifts, including perhaps a coin, bread, salt, coal, or a drink which respectively represent financial prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer.  Did you have a first footer at your house?

Well, no one outside the household came in and instead of coal, a black bun and whiskey, we had Hoppin' John and collard greens with cornbread. I think that a "first footer" bringing whiskey isn't my idea of good luck. But it's an interesting old tradition nonetheless.

I hope that the tall, dark and handsome man who crosses your threshold brings suitable gifts for your luck in the New Year.  Any time is the right time to start your year.

When I was alive, I believed — as you do — that time was at least as real and solid as myself, and probably more so. I said 'one o'clock' as though I could see it, and 'Monday' as though I could find it on the map; and I let myself be hurried along from minute to minute, day to day, year to year, as though I were actually moving from one place to another. Like everyone else, I lived in a house bricked up with seconds and minutes, weekends and New Year's Days, and I never went outside until I died, because there was no other door. Now I know that I could have walked through the walls. (...) You can strike your own time, and start the count anywhere. When you understand that — then any time at all will be the right time for you. — Peter S. Beagle

The priceless gift of serenity

The weather turned chilly and windy a few days ago. It has been a roller coaster of warm balmy weather followed by seasonal temperatures.  I'm not complaining because both are good.  The chilly temperatures make it a little more difficult to do things on the boat, but when I come home to a warm house and a fire going in the gathering room, it's wonderful. 

Yesterday, we baked pies and pound cakes. The coconut pies and boxed pound cakes above are some of our gifts to friends.  The cookies were baked last night and will be part of the food at the open house we are having for recovery folks on Boxing Day.  So far there are 36 people coming.  It seems a little bit overwhelming at this point.  But I'm sure we will have enough food for them, and it will all be fine.  I like that with so many people around, they can entertain themselves.  

I went to my last meetings before Christmas.  I think that there will be a meeting on Christmas night.  I'm glad that the meetings continue regardless of the day.  Someone who needs a respite, peace, and a safe place to be will find that in a meeting.  There is a place for people to be on days when the world seems too much or the season just a bit too jolly.  That is such a good thing. 

I remember when my wife was first sober, we took a ham and cake over to a meeting on the other side of town.  So many people were there who had no family or other place they wanted to be. The AA club house was open all day with meetings going throughout the day and into Christmas night.  It was truly something that I will remember for many years and still brings tears to my eyes.  Both her sponsors who were there that day are dead.  Others that she truly liked have died or moved away. But I'm sure many will be there on Christmas day to be with their fellows and enjoy the priceless gift of serenity. 

Getting close

Christmas is just around the corner, and we have been busy.  As I mentioned in a previous post, this is the year of making presents for people.  So one of the favorite things to make is pepper jelly from our home-grown peppers and my mother's recipe.  I chopped and my wife cooked enough to fill a few dozen jars with red and green jelly. We even made labels for the top and will give them to friends who attend our open house party on Boxing Day.

This evening, my wife was putting the icing on a wonderful orange pound cake that she decorated with marzipan candies.  That cake was going to her home group meeting.  I am hoping for a small slice when she gets home.  She has baked every Wednesday for this group for about five years.  It's what she likes to do, and the people at the meeting seem to really appreciate it.  A couple more cakes will be forthcoming over the weekend as gifts to some elderly couples we know.

In another spurt of inspiration,  we decided to make some hand scrub as gifts.  It sells for quite a bit of money in the city gift shops and is in just about every restaurant rest room downtown.  So we made some using epsom salts, olive oil with orange-clove fragrance and another with vanilla-almond scent.  It was easy to do and looked really great when we were done.

About the only sad note is that a friend who has been active in both AA and Al-Anon for decades was diagnosed on Monday with pancreatic cancer.  We don't know the stage or any details but know that if it can be beaten, our friend will manage to do it.  

And the parents-in-law are fragile but doing reasonably well. I took Pop for a ride on Sunday to see the lights and to get him a milk shake.  He is starting to lose some of his mental acuity, alternating between making sense and senseless babble. One of the nurses said that the main thing keeping him alive is the lactulose that prevents a buildup of ammonia in his blood due to his cirrhotic liver. I see them continuing to decline. But I think that both of us have come to terms with the inevitable. 

I know that many of you are feeling the crunch of the holidays.  We feel much less stressed this year and really grateful.  We are actually having fun with being "elves".  Who knew? 

Camp cooking and yearbooks

This is what is left of the kitchen after the cabinets and cooking island were removed.  The rugs are gone now as well, shaken, vacuumed and put away.  We are waiting for the sheetrock, plumbing, and electrical people to start.  Removal of the cabinets was a long process.  I worked with the handyman who helps out around here, and we got them off the wall, labeled each door and cabinet, and put them onto a truck to be shipped to a lady who is buying them.  It was a lot of work!

The adventure of camp cooking has begun.  The first night we had Chinese takeout.  Last night, we grilled vegetables and salmon on the outdoor gas grill.  Thankfully, we still have the refrigerator and the freezer as well as a microwave. And we actually enjoying this interlude of simple cooking.  

The cold that I had is gone. Must have been a mild one, thankfully.  Between feeling under the weather and doing the demolition work here, I haven't been to the boat in a few days.  So I'm going to check up on things there and maybe we will spend the night at the marina.  I don't think that the workmen will start until Monday at the earliest. 

I did spend a few hours yesterday morning with a fellow I sponsor.  It was good to get out of the house and take a drive to meet up with him.  He is so grateful to have someone to share his story with, and I'm grateful that he is so willing to do the work in recovery.  He is going to the convention this winter and wants to help me with one of the workshops that our district is doing. I know that I'll need his help.  I need to get through this remodeling before I can give much thought to anything else. 

Last night, I stayed up late reading what people had written in my high school year books.  I went through the writings from Sophomore through Senior year.  Aside from the usual stuff about having a good summer,  I was struck by how many people who wrote what a great friend I had been and how much I helped them with their studies.  Some wrote that I had the best sense of humor. Teachers wrote that I would be a good scientist one day.  I frankly don't remember much that was good from those days, but obviously others had a different take.  Perhaps my memories are just selective or skewed,  and I have chosen to focus on the pain and not the joy or the friendship.  I honestly don't know what is real or not from back then.  But I am warmed by the idea that so many did like me and call me friend. 

And the importance that writing in a year book took on was obvious.  There were reserved pages and lots of angst poured out on those pages.  I thought that this captured that by-gone era pretty well. It's from an article in New Yorker magazine:

"When you wrote in someone’s yearbook, you only had one shot. The message could be clever or sappy or crass, but you couldn’t spend all day on it and you couldn’t revise. As a teen-ager, I was obsessed with this idea—the yearbook-signing as a work of art. I knew what I didn’t like: vagaries (“we had some fun times”); empty promises (“let’s hang out this summer”); clichés (“stay sweet”). I prepared a mental list of friends and acquaintances, and drafted elaborate messages in my head. Just what I was after with all of this is hard to say. Did I think of myself as a writer? As a shy kid, I may have hoped that people who didn’t seem to notice me in real life would find me charming on the page.

These days I don’t thumb through my old yearbooks very often. The pages themselves seem to smell of adolescent angst, and trips down memory lane, while sometimes pleasant, are often embarrassing. But then again, isn’t that what yearbooks are all about? They’re time capsules, not live feeds. The foolish things that we wore, loved, wrote, and worried over are all there, preserved for us to cringe over later. We can’t edit them out, or bury them in a flurry of tweets."

Beautiful Saturday

It has been a beautiful day here. And this was just the tonic I needed. I caught up on my sleep finally, went for a walk on the beach, had friends come onboard, and had a good dinner.

We like to cook Thai and Chinese food. So tonight we fixed crispy fried eggplant and Hunan tofu. Delicious! We eat two meals a day with a light snack in the afternoon. It is all we need. I'm glad that both of us are on the same page with food--no salt, no meat except seafood, almost no processed food, lots of vegetables. We had arguments for years about food. I was the no salt, no carbs, no meat person and my wife was the meat, salt and pasta person. After her heart attack, things drastically changed in terms of her eating habits. No more arguments about food or booze. What a nice change that is!

Thanks for your kind thoughts and comments. I don't usually carry around so much melancholy. At least, today is happy and peaceful. I don't feel the weight of the world on me (thanks Mark for that description) now. Strange how all that responsibility and worry makes an appearance at times. Lack of sleep, too much analysis, projecting outcomes, self-pity--these are my pitfalls.

Now it's time to sit on deck and listen to the waves and the wind in the rigging. These are sounds that soothe my soul. Another day is just about done , and it was a beautiful one.

Worms, food, and a wedding anniversary

Another week has begun after a peaceful weekend on the water.  Saturday was stormy, so we sat in the cockpit and watched the storm clouds gather. When the rain came down in a torrent, we moved below to the dry cabin, watched a movie, listened to music, read books.  We went to sleep with the rain hitting the hatch cover over our heads, and the boat gently moving in the small swells.

On Sunday,  the weather had turned around to a beautifully bright spring day.  We took a long walk on the beach, looked for shark's teeth,  and talked to a few families who were enjoying a picnic. Amelia enjoyed her time on the beach because she loves to greet people who pet her.  She says hello and then moves on, wagging her tail.  I like that she has the same manners as her mother, my old girl who died in November.

Beach combing for me is not so much about what I take but what I observe.  On Friday evening, we heard the sounds of thousands of mating bristle worms hitting the hull.  These polychaete worms swarm in a mating frenzy when the water temperature begins to warm.  Their tubes are so numerous that they cover the sand in many places.  Shining a light over the side of the boat at night reveals thousands of the red epitokes.  The epitoke is a portion of the bristleworm that  is packed with eggs or sperm and becomes highly specialised for swimming.  At mating time, the epitoke breaks off from the main worm and can move about on its own. Swimming to the surface, it is joined by the epitokes of other bristleworms. At the surface, the epitokes burst apart, releasing eggs and sperm for external fertilisation.  In this way, the worms can reproduce without exposing the rest of their bodies to danger.

Worm tubes on the beach

There is always something to talk about on the beach.  So many people don't seem to take the time to stop and wonder about what is right under their feet.  Maybe some don't want to know!

We had a foodie weekend too with snow crab and corn on the cob on Friday evening,  Szechuan flounder and crispy eggplant on Saturday, and linguine with white clam sauce on Sunday.  No bristle worms were added though! All the salt air and long walks builds up a healthy appetite.

This coming Friday will be the 70th wedding anniversary of my wife's parents.  We are planning to take them to lunch at a nice restaurant. I'm not sure how all this will go because Mom doesn't really remember who Pop is at times, thinking that he is her brother or father.  And Pop is frail but doing okay as long as the ammonia buildup on the brain is kept low due to laculose.  But then the laculose causes diarrhea which presents another set of problems.  Anyway, we are hoping that all will go well, and the parents will be healthy enough to go out.  I can tell that C. is a bit anxious over the whole thing.

I cannot imagine 70 years together.  I won't speculate on what that takes.  But it takes more than what most people can imagine.  

Friday evening on the boat

We are anchored at an inlet up the coast for the weekend. Tonight is breezy. We watched lightening in the distance, but not a drop of rain has fallen here. There are campers on shore, and I see their fire blazing.

Tomorrow, some other boaters will be joining us. We are planning a campfire and shared meal in the evening. I'll be making a shrimp stew which is one of the Lowcountry favorites. I wonder if there will be any green marshmallows to roast on St. Patrick's day.

I am tired after the run up the coast. My wife is finishing up a bowl of soup. I fixed some crispy fried eggplant earlier. Neither of us felt like cooking anything too elaborate. Time to read now for a few minutes and then get a good night's sleep. I sleep so soundly on the boat, listening to the sound of the wind and the waves.

All is well here. I have been looking forward to this trip for a while. It's just a simple get-away, but it is like being in another world to me. The simple things are just fine.

Rain, Pesto, Caterpillars, and Parents

Finally, some cooler temperatures have come to this part of the coast.  There was a front that came through bringing rain and dropped the temperature by 10 degrees.  The garden is about on its last legs.  There are still a few tomatoes, peppers, and egg plants left.  But the other beds have been prepared for fall.  Now, I am waiting on the plants to come in so that I can get them in the ground.

We made some pesto from the basil in the garden.  It was wonderful.  Here is the recipe:

Put hand fulls of basil leaves in a food processor,  add garlic cloves and olive oil and pine nuts.  I don't know the exact amount but put about five cloves, 2 cups of olive oil,  and a cup of toasted pine nuts in the processor.  Then I add in a cup and a half of parsley and about 2 cups of fresh grated Parmesan.  I don't add any salt, but if added it will bring out the taste of the basil.  All of this is then pulsed in a food processor.  Serve it over whatever pasta you like.  Orzo is one of my favorites and makes a nice pesto dish with fresh tomatoes added and shrimp, if you like.  

Interestingly enough, the parsley was mostly eaten by the caterpillar of the black swallowtail butterfly.  I grew enough for the hungry caterpillars who can easily strip a plant in about two days.  But they are so beautiful, and the butterfly that eventually results from the metamorphosis of the caterpillar is also wonderful so I leave them alone as they eat. 

We are preparing for a weekend excursion on the boat.  Some of our friends are going to meet us at the mouth of one of the rivers down south.  It is a longer run for us, but the location seems to have good water depth for anchoring and a sandy beach nearby for walking and exploring.  We will have a picnic lunch on Saturday along with swimming and floating on rafts. 

All is well with the parents-in-law who have decided to hire live in help.  This is a couple who will cook and clean as well as maintain their yard, do the shopping and other errands as well as take them for doctor appointments.  We were both surprised at their decision to do this.  But I think that it is a good one because it will hopefully allow them to stay in their house which is what they want to do.  And it greatly reduces the time we spend cooking, cleaning and doing other errands for them.

The couple are currently in Lebanon where they have managed a large estate and will be coming back to the US in October.  I am hoping that it will work out for all concerned.  I just wonder how the couple will react to my father-in-law's political views which are pretty far to the right.  That will be for them to sort out.  I simply don't stay around when he starts his political rants and running commentary on the news.  "I have to go wash the cat/dog" is one of my favorite lines when the ranting reaches high decibel levels.

Well,  time to go read a bit before sleep comes on.  We both have our piles of books on either side of the bed.  I am mostly through Keith Richard's book Life.  I think that it is interesting but find that he  romanticizes the drug use a bit.  He is definitely not afraid to write what it was like, what happened, and what he is like now. 

Good bye until tomorrow. 

Curious about living

Not a lot happening here.  The heat index is around 110 F, but the breeze on the water helps a lot.  Last night, it was actually comfortable sleeping on the boat which does not have any AC.  We went to eat sushi which was excellent, and got groceries for the rest of the weekend on the boat.  It is a treat to go out to eat a couple of times a week.  I know that we could save a lot of money if we didn't, but it is just a special treat that we both enjoy.

Today I heard that Amy Winehouse died.  Another young person dead before getting to really live much of life.  Or at least not enough of life for me.  When I was 27, I was finishing up my Ph.D. and totally immersed in my work.  I didn't have time to think about much else.  We were just married and both of us were so busy.  I realized that there was so much more to do in life than what I was doing at the time. But I had a goal and persevered with school and work to see so many really cool things. 

I am grateful that we both have lived to be here today.  Maybe some people are just tired of living.  I am not.  I hope to still have a zest for life no matter what my age or state of health.  I am still curious about what is to come. 

Wishing you a good Saturday and endless curiosity about living. 

No coincidence

Well, the chili is cooking and the corn bread is done.  I am making two pots of chili from two different recipes.  And I'm doing the same with the cornbread.  I had a lot of fun this morning cooking and dicing and slicing. C. came in to check on me and make a few suggestions.  No beans are going into the contest chili, but the vegetarian one has beans in it.  Now I am going to clean up the mess that I've made.  I am actually pretty clean when I cook (I'm sure that you are thinking--good Syd, you washed your hands and didn't get any hair in the chili).  Not much was spilled on the floor, and the ramekins saved the day.  I used about ten ramekins for all the ingredients, and they were organized in order.  Just like a chemistry class!

I did a sponsee call in the midst of the cornbread making.  I told him that I would put him on speaker as I finished up what I was doing, if that was okay.  He is doing a fourth step via the long and detailed Blueprint for Progress.  It took me about four months to get through the fourth step, and I wasn't dragging my feet.  It is just a long process in Al-Anon.  Sometimes I would just like to go right to the AA inventory and not do the Blueprint. But a part of me, that part that says "go by the book" (the chemistry class attitude), says to do it the way that I was guided through the steps by my sponsor.  You see,  I can be impatient at times.  It is one of my defects.  I have to remind myself that the more that is revealed in a fourth step, the better things will go when we get to the rest of the steps.  Don't rush the process, I tell myself. 

Yesterday a man called who wants me to temporarily sponsor him while his real sponsor is getting over some stuff that has sidelined him for over a month and a half.   I said that I would be glad to help this man.  When I first met him in a meeting, he was angry, loud and dominant.  I remember thinking that he was not a person I wanted to get close to.  After a year in meetings,  he has changed remarkably.  He still likes to talk a lot, but the anger is gone.  He has humility now and seems filled with a lot of happiness.  I don't think that it is coincidence that he chose me to be a temporary sponsor.  He said that I exuded openness and a non-judging attitude.  Wow--if only he knew what I had originally thought of him when he first came in.  I will share that in an amends at the appropriate time.  For right now, I am grateful to be of service in the interim while his sponsor is getting back on track. 

Tonight is rowing with the team.  It will be good to be out in brisk winds and cold temperatures (for us anything in the 20's and 30's is cold).  After the row,  we generally go to dinner and enjoy some comraderie.  I am glad to have your comraderie on the blogs.  We may not always agree, but we keep an open mind.  That is what you have taught me.  Corny or not, thanks for that.

It is chili

Many thanks to those of you who made suggestions and even provided recipes.  I am taking some from each of what you sent and making an amalgamated chili that should be good.  If I get a placement, that will be cool and totally unexpected. One of the things that gave me pause was adding a can of beer to the chili.  But alcohol evaporates in the cooking process, so I don't think that is an issue. 

But living with an alcoholic will make one a bit paranoid about beer and wine in cooking.  I remember early on in recovery, we were both having lunch at a nice restaurant.  We wanted to share a dessert so I asked the server what the desserts were.  She rattled off a bunch.  C. thought that Bananas Foster would be good.  So I asked what was in it! When the server said that it had rum and banana liquor in it, I immediately said, "Oh no, we don't want that." 

There it was--out of my mouth in an instant.  I was fearful about the alcoholic having anything to do with alcohol, or even thinking about alcohol.  Yes, I was new to recovery, but thinking back on that moment of insanity, I realize how far I have now come.  I don't need to protect anyone from themselves.  That isn't up to me.  What a relief!  So I am going to put a can of beer in the chili and trust that no one at the cookoff is going to go off the deep end and start guzzling the entire pot. 

Yesterday, we did lose power for a while.  It wasn't a big deal as we nearly always lose power at least a few times a year out here in the country.  The fire was warm and the nap that I took on the couch was delicious.  Today I am going to go down to the boat and check on things there.  It is still in the 30's here but at least there is no rain.  And later this evening, I am going to a meeting.  Another day to make of it what I can. 

Christmas eve

With the events of yesterday in the past, we are already fully into this Christmas Eve day.  Cooking, stuffing gift bags for guests, setting out plates and dishes for the buffet, and getting the fireplaces ready to light. 

So far, we have around 20 people coming tomorrow to enjoy a few hours of food and fellowship.  I am certainly looking forward to it.  The elderly parents-in-law will be here in the morning to open gifts, after which we will get the dining room table loaded with food to serve.  This is going to be a pretty casual thing. 

The menu is southern style with BBQ, ribs, chili, baked beans, red rice, coleslaw, potato salad, green bean casserole, cheeses, hot spiced cider, cookies, fudge, and coconut cake.  Everyone eats turkey or ham for Christmas so we decided some home cooked BBQ and ribs would be really good.  I smoked the BBQ over hickory chips on Wednesday and did the ribs in the cooker yesterday.  They smell awesome. 

So that's what we are doing today.  Getting things ready for tomorrow.  And then taking a nap later this afternoon.  A house full of people coming and that is what I like.  Filling up this house is hard but tomorrow we may be on our way to having it filled with a lot of good cheer and love. 

Many blessings to you and yours on this Christmas Eve.

From Madame X to hard crack

I have been involved in a cookie marathon.  It really started Saturday with the making of the dough.  I didn't really participate much in that other than to wash up and clean up after the cookie dough was assembled.

Then, there was a break to go to a nice party across the river.  Mostly boat people were at this party--those who live on boats, have lived on boats, and have cruised boats.  And the boats were mostly sailboats. We exchanged stories and talked about engines, stuffing boxes, sails and decks.  The beach house where the party was held had an eclectic assortment of art, furniture, and rugs.  I was particularly captivated by a reproduction of John Singer Sargent's Portrait of Madame X.  It is one that has captivated me for years because the Madame reminds me of my mother, without the aquiline nose. 

 

So after that respite on Saturday evening, it was back to cookie/candy making yesterday.  We made peanut brittle first which required heating the ingredients to weld temperatures.  I was the stirrer and the candy thermometer holder, brave soul that I am.  C. just gave me orders to keep stirring which I did for fear of an explosion the size of Chernobyl in the bubbling cauldron.  Anyway, after what seemed like hours, the "hard crack" stage finally came at 305 F.  And then with little ado, the whole mess was spread out on a buttered marble slab to cool.  The result was spectacularly good.

So then we did some easy stuff with these little holly berry cookies.  I had a light weight job of dumping spoonfuls onto the cookie sheets.  They turned out to be really decorative and not too bad for being a sticky mess of marshmallows and corn flakes.

Next came the most challenging part of the marathon--baking and decorating dozens of sugar cookies. We chose mostly Christmas shapes from the old cookie cutters--stars, snowflakes, trees, holly, and crescent moon.  C. rolled the dough and cut out the cookies.  I moved them from the rolling table to the baking trays.  In the process, we made a spectacular mess.

 But the finished product turned out to be neat.  I was assigned to be the painter of the cookies. I hope that no one finds a thick bristle hair from the paint brushes thinking that it might be human or dog hair. I did my best to pick all those bristle hairs from the brushes off the cookies, I swear!  It has been a fun, but tiring couple of days.  All except for 2 dozen cookies are iced.  When I ran out of icing, I called for a time out.  I will make more blue and yellow icing for the snowflakes and the moons.  But for now, I am sated with decorating. 

Tonight is my home group meeting.  I will take some of the finished cookies there.

Lord, I have been a man slave for a couple of days.  I wonder whether Madame X ever iced a cookie, much less baked one.  I am sure that she probably never smeared her marble top dresser with butter and spread hard crack peanut goo on it.  Oh well.....I am sure she still had a good life in spite of these deficiencies.

Just a hint

On this moonlit evening,  I can feel the first beckoning of fall.  There is a light breeze stirring the trees and just a bit less humidity in the air.  The light in the late afternoon has cast longer shadows.  And today I saw the first sulfur butterfly float past me.  These are signs telling me that soon the oppressive heat will be gone, and my favorite time of year will begin.

It has been a summer of mostly favorable happenings.  The good stuff which actually made memories included my retiring with some decorum, getting a lot of time on the water sailing and living aboard for several days, finding a boat that has captured my imagination and some of my heart,  and celebrating another year in recovery with my partner.  The bad thing that occurred was the suicide of a friend.  In the overall rating of summers,  I would say that it was memorable. And hot, very hot.

I can't say that I have been particularly productive over the past few months.  But I rationalize this by telling myself that this is my first summer "off" for a long time.  So I'm giving myself a break and not sinking into guilt.  In fact,  I could get too used to being an idle farmer and roving sailor.  But the farmer can't be idle much longer because the fall crops have to be planted.  The garden is almost weeded, the dead plants have been pulled, and it is time to till the boxes to get ready for collards, cabbage, kohlrabi, and some broccoli. One season turning into another--the cycle of life.

And the roving sailor will have plenty to do once the boat comes out of the yard and is at the marina.  There will be decks to be painted with non-skid, brass ports to be polished, teak to be varnished, and some wire brushing of the engine parts.  I will have to quell my desire to get everything done at once and practice the patience that I have learned in recovery. 

Soon the heat will be reduced to something in the 80's and maybe even in the 70's if we're lucky.  And that will make every job easier.  In the meantime,  I am not going to project about atmospheric disturbances off the Cape Verde Islands,  and what the last part of August and early September could bring.  This is a one day at a time program, and I'm going to stick to that.  In fact, I'm not going to think about hurricane season right now at all. 

Instead,  I'm going to go have a dinner of eggplant parmesana and insalata caprese, followed by some fresh watermelon.  Maybe we will actually eat dinner on the screen porch tonight.  Yes, there is just enough of a hint of fall in the air that it has me a bit wistful.  All good things will come in time.

Sea creatures, cooking and sex

It's a beautiful Friday here. I'm glad that it's almost the weekend. This afternoon I'm going to give a talk on one of my favorite critters, the horseshoe crab. Sharing information on marine organisms is something that I look forward to. If I can impart some information that will help people to consider the estuaries and oceans in a different way, as a home to some interesting and important creatures, then I consider that a success.

The horseshoe crab, a humble prehistoric looking critter, has been around since the Ordovician period, which was about 500 million years ago. That's a long time. What's really intriguing is that the blood of horseshoe crab is used by the biomedical industry to detect bacterial endotoxins in catheter tubes and injectable drugs. So this ancient creature provides a very real and valuable service for many people.

I had to laugh about Mary's cooking experience with octopus. I've read of many methods to tenderize the rubbery cephalopod. If you ask five different people what these measures are you are likely to get five different answers, all arcane - which goes a long way toward explaining why no one cooks octopus at home. A Greek cook may tell you to beat it against some rocks. A Spanish cook will dip it into boiling water three times, then cook it in a copper pot - only copper will do. An Italian might cook it with two corks. The Japanese rub it all over with salt, or knead it with grated daikon, then slice the meat at different angles, with varying strokes. I have used a wooden mallet to beat the rubber out of the octopus.

But I read up after Mary's adventure to find that the best method which is often the simplest (Occam's rasor) is to cook octopus and squid slowly. Cook for under five minutes or so for salad or sushi. For deep frying, it would be best to do long, slow cooking to get a tender texture. I read in one book that 30 minutes per kilo (two pounds) is a gauge. But much will depend on repeatedly testing the skin with a sharp knife. When the knife blade splits the skin with little resistance, then the octopus is done.

And if all that isn't gross enough, when eating calimari look for the long tentacle that extends beyond the others. That is the hectocotylized arm of the male. He uses that to place a sperm packet in the female and thereby inseminates her.

Bon appetit.