Letting go of Pandora

Today, we are taking our 18 year old cat, Pandora, to be euthanized. It is time. She has steadily been losing weight and what little she eats goes through her. Her breathing is labored and she is lethargic today.  We give our animals every opportunity to tell us when the time has come. And now it has.

Pandora belonged to my wife's parents who adopted her as a one year old. Mom and Pop loved that cat. We got Christmas and birthday cards from Pandora. And Pandora was the one who was with Mom when she died, having moved from the adjacent bed to lie next to Mom on the day before and the day after she died. Pandora then came to live with us, adapting to the other cats slowly but relishing the attention given to her.

It seems oddly coincidental that Pandora looks like a skeleton, having lost so much weight over the past month.  She is the cat version of what Pop looked like before he died.  "Failure to thrive" seems to happen to both humans and animals when life has dwindled to the point where the body is wasting away. Every time I look at her now and stroke her bony frame, it tears at my heart because I am reminded of Pop's last days.

I don't have much more to say about this. Our love for animals is huge.  But the animals tell us when they are sick and suffering. Keep us in your thoughts as we carry on with letting go of Pandora.

Pandora on the bed after Mom died

Catching up and letting go

We got back home from Mexico after a marathon at the airport in Phoenix. Long lines in security caused delays, and we missed our connecting flight by 5 minutes. We finally got home around 10:30 AM the following day.  Strange how such a delightful vacation can end so abruptly as a problem occurs. But we were simply tired and not angry or disturbed. I saw a lot of people who were arguing with the airlines and getting worked up. It was not the airlines problem. And there was nothing that could be done. So we talked, had dinner, and looked at our photos.

After getting home, I felt really tired. I came down with a head cold within two days and have felt pretty miserable.  But I am now on the mend.

My wife was surprised by the landscaping magic that occurred while we were gone. It was a present to her. And it turned out beautifully.  There are still a few finishing touches to be done (and the orange cones aren't staying!).  But we have been enjoying the transformation.

I also sold my first sailboat which has been living on a trailer for the last three years. She left today with her new owner.  This makes me happy.  I had to wait until I got to a point when I felt that I was no longer emotionally attached to the boat.  And I know that she is going to a great new owner who is so thrilled to get her. 

Somehow it seems that our trip is now so far away.  It was a wonderful time. But I am ready to be a home body for a few months. And I am looking forward to getting back out on my boat next week.  My wife will be heading up to Nantucket for her annual get away with a few friends. 

I was talking to a fellow on Tuesday night after the meeting. He asked me how I stopped obsessing over other people that I loved.  I said that it came about gradually--a little bit of letting go over time, until I finally realized that obsessing was just wasted energy that fueled anger and anxiety.  And then it was the realization that the other person has a higher power, no matter what that is, but I knew that I wasn't it.  It is hard to explain the relief of not obsessing about what others do.  I have no control over them and could let them be. 

I hope to get around to reading more of your posts.  I have a lot of catching up to do on the blogs. Happy Saturday to all of you. 

All is okay

Thank you for your positive thoughts! The results for my wife's biopsy indicated all samples were normal. We breathed a huge sigh of relief over this.

She has a history of breast cancer so it was especially scary to have a biopsy done. Now we can dismiss concerns. Both of us were fully aware that no matter what we would deal with the results. To not have a huge fear and to take yesterday a few hours at a time was huge. 

So we are on the boat at the marina this weekend. It is Race Week through Sunday which means a lot of crazy stuff happening. Racers come from all over, and I have found that it's best to be on the boat to watch over it. 

I have a few photos to share. Hope you are having a good weekend.