Sunday before a big week

We are coming up on one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. It is a favorite because it is about gratitude.  Even though the Christmas decorations and music are filling stores, I ignore that as much as possible to focus on sitting down with friends to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. This year we are having over a young man who I sponsor and his family.  The family speaks limited English, but I'm sure that we will share a universal language of gratitude.

Thanksgiving also marks the time when my wife and I celebrate our wedding anniversary.  We were married on November 26 at my parent's home.  It wasn't a fancy wedding, but the occasion was happy. And it remains as clear in my mind as the day that it happened.

I'm not sure what we are going to do for our anniversary.  In the past,  we have worked in the woods, making a burn pile and enjoying being together outdoors. Occasionally, we have gone fishing or out to dinner. Every year has marked the passage of time that we have worked and lived together.  There certainly have been moments when I wondered whether our marriage would last.  But something has told me over these years that this person is as solidly a part of me as breathing.  She is my best friend. Neither of us knew how to have a real relationship when we married. That part has come over the years. And we still work at it. But I know that we are in this for life.  I knew that several years before we were married.

We have put together some Thanksgiving food for Hospice patients.  I have been delivering the packages to 18 patients in part of the metro area.  I started two days ago and will finish most of the deliveries today.  I visit with some of the people if they are available.  This has been a rewarding experience because they are so appreciative of having gift and someone to visit.  One petite 90 year old lady invited me in her unlocked house to sit with her and talk. She was cheerful and looking forward to Thanksgiving.  She asked if I would come to visit her again because I was "good company".

The weather is cold and windy today with the first frost promised for tonight. We have moved all the perishable plants to the greenhouse. The dogs are quiet, resting on their warm beds. I am heading out the door to deliver gifts to the sick and will check up on the boat. All is good here at the moment.  Wishing you some good things today in your life.

Weddings and boats

I just got back in from several days on the boat.  It was a great time, as usual. The dolphins were particularly active--jumping out of the water and putting on a show.  The days were warm, but we slept under a light cover at night. Fall is definitely coming to the Lowcountry.  

I didn't do much on my iPad while I was out, so I have a lot of catching up to do on blogs.  Before I left on the boat, I was processing photos taken from my first volunteer activity for Hospice--a wedding shoot.  That has kept me busy for hours. 

The mother of the groom is in Hospice, and the wedding was held at her home.  It was a country wedding with kids and dogs milling around.  A pig had been roasting for 2 days so the reception had BBQ and all the fixings.  The mother of the groom made the bouquets.  I have to say that it was a happy time.  Nothing fancy at all, but there was a lot of caring and loving people enjoying the wedding.  

I shot a lot of photos and am going to finish them up this weekend so I can get them to the family.  I have to say that it was a lot of fun.  I was busy every moment after I arrived and continued shooting photos until dark.  No kidding what has been said about wedding photography--carry two cameras and shoot every detail; follow the bride; and get it right because there aren't any retakes. 

Hospice likes the idea of my doing photography for memory books to give to the family.  The staff have two more photographic requests for me to do.  Who knows, maybe the idea of photographing the remaining days and hours before life's end is going to be helpful. 

Last night, I went to a meeting to chair after getting off the boat.  I washed the salt off, went to the meeting, and got home around 9:30 PM.  I was tired and my legs ached too.  Lots of exercise on the beach and swimming over the last three days.  I generally get dehydrated on the boat so that may be the cause of the aching legs.  

This morning I am going to process some photos, go to a meeting and then do some cleaning on the boat in the early afternoon. After that, I'm coming home to stay for the rest of the weekend.  If I could, though, I would be out there on the water still.  It is the place of ultimate peace.

Into September

The summer is officially over but the heat and humidity continues here. This has been a difficult summer. In fact, it almost seems as if there hasn't been much of one, at least from having a lot of time to just relax. The death of Pop and my cousin in June definitely cast a pall over the usual happy times.

I shared my Al-Anon story twice in August: at my home group and at a meeting I helped start and regularly attend.  At that meeting, anniversaries are celebrated at the end of the month. There were three of us who were celebrating anniversaries in August, but I was the only one who showed up.  I had hoped to not have to talk again for 45 minutes, but as usually occurs, the words came out in something that appeared to resonate with others.

A group of us went to dinner afterwards which is usually fun. This time a lady came who has generally been fairly quiet in meetings, often sitting and crying about her daughter who is an addict. She has identified herself as a therapist and talked and talked during the whole meal. It's interesting how people can have an entirely different persona outside of meetings.  Perhaps manic talking is a mask for the terror that she feels?

I've joined a book study group that meets before the regular Al-Anon meeting. We are reading a book called Discovering Choices.  It's about relationships, a topic that interests me because I have basically had difficulty with knowing how to have a healthy relationship for most of my life.

And the book is about having healthy relationships and not the co-dependent kind which is filled with mistrust, fear and anger. Anyway, the book states that "Wherever we may be in our search for healthy relationships, we
have to begin where we are today. It may be painful to think how much better our relationships could have—or should have—been. There’s no point in criticizing ourselves when we did the best we could with what we had. We can gain peace of mind by putting aside what we could or should have done and by accepting who and where we are right now." The book is generating a lot of good discussion in the group as each of us tries to look at present relationships without guilt and regret.

I have been approved as a Hospice volunteer and will start with photographing for a memory book of a lady who is dying. I don't know how I will feel, but somehow think that being a volunteer will be mutually beneficial. My wife thinks that I am too tender for this--that it will sadden me. I may be too tender. But I want to see what I feel and what I can learn from those who are facing their own imminent death.  I will let you know how that goes.

Next week, I am going on the boat for three days. I am looking forward to getting away more than I can say.  I have missed going out every week.  It isn't the same to be on the boat at the marina. The view is magnificent of the city and the harbor, but I need the solitude that comes from casting off lines and heading to the "secret" island.  I feel as if I have been holding my breath and am waiting to exhale upon arrival there.  It is my tree house on the water--a place where I can wear as few clothes as possible and live a nomad's life for a few days.  This winter, the voyage may become much longer as I plan to head down the coast to somewhere tropical. Lots of options at the moment.  And I am savoring each and every one.