Content in boredom

We have been enjoying the wildlife camera (Bird Cam Pro) that I gave to my wife for Christmas.  I have to say that the wireless connection wasn't easy so I spent about a full day trying to get that set up to no avail.  But if we simply download the individual photos by pulling the SD card, it's easy for even the technologically challenged.

We have gotten some good photos of birds at the feeders and the little masked bandits that come up in the wee hours to eat seeds.  I'm hoping that we will get to see some other animals like opossum and maybe wild turkeys because there are hundreds of the latter on the property.  It has been fun to look at the antics of the squirrels and raccoons.  It's the wilds out here on the island so all kinds of critters could wander by.  I doubt if we will see the bobcats or coyote unless we put out some kind of meat for them.

It has been rainy and cold for the past few days.  Today is the first day without rain, but it's still raw outside.  We have been burning logs in the fireplace insert which has helped a lot with keeping the house warm.  Other than going out for meetings, neither of us has left the property.  We walk down to get the mail and we go out to turn the dogs into their paddocks.  All of us seem lazy and lethargic, not wanting to stay outside for long. The cats stay near the hearth and the dogs are enjoying their new dog beds.  

We did have some friends over for dinner one night. They are an entertaining couple who work as estate managers in Europe and the Middle East. They live the real Downton Abbey and have stories that are fascinating about the woes of the princes and gentry whose estates they manage.  When they are done with a job, they retreat to their home in Greece or come to their home in Cambridge, MA.  It was nice to spend time with them, talking about society, mannerisms, lack of manners, and life in a small village in Greece.  

I did pick the last of the peppers from the garden so that we could make pepper jelly. The jelly jars are filled now with the green or red savory jelly. The collard greens from the garden were delicious on New Year's Day. I can't complain about the temperature down here.  I'm grateful that we don't have snow or below freezing temperatures all day like what the Northeast and Midwest are experiencing. 

I am supposed to go on the boat on Wednesday for a couple of days.  I don't mind the cold out there because the propane stove keeps the inside of the cabin warm.  It's getting to the anchorage that is chilly. And once at the anchorage, I can hibernate as much as I want, except for rowing the dog to shore for her walks and bathroom time. 

Nothing dramatic is going on.  I have no urgent items that I have to write about. I am utterly content in my rather boring life at the moment.

De-stressing

Do you ever think about simply de-stressing your life?  Just letting stuff go that you have been doing like an automaton for years and years, with little joy involved.

I realize that most people can't quit jobs or stop caring for their children.  That's not what I meant.  What I was thinking of is those optional things that we take on because saying "yes" seems to be the thing that comes first to mind out of guilt or rote.

I used to have a hobby that involved traveling and competing.  I was heavily into it.  In fact, I made a big name for myself.  But after 20 years of competing, hearing the gossip about others, seeing people put others down, I walked away.  I could feel the unhappiness every time I would get ready to head out of town for another event.  I simply didn't want to do this anymore.  So I quit.  Just like that.  I am still involved in the sport but in a different way now.  I no longer am stressed by it.  And that feels wonderful.

I used to think that as a young person, I could take on everything.  I hungered to be really good at everything that I did.  I wanted to be the best.  I achieved some of those goals, but no longer have the desire to take on so much.  I have realistic goals now--to improve my knowledge of something I am doing but not get carried away.  I want balance in my life and in the things that I do.

And yes, I have a couple of boats.  And they require maintenance.  But the joy that I get from being on them, having them as a sanctuary, is immeasurable.  There is also the garden that I love.  The flower beds that we tend.  But all of this is not competitive and isn't about comparing myself to others.  We are simply enjoying these things for what they are and the beauty that they bring to our lives.

I want to blame the drive that I have had on growing up in a home where I was pushed and prodded to be the best.  Maybe it was that or simply hard-wired by my genes.  None of that matters because it's what I think and do today to veer off the rigid path of a pre-determined life that really counts.  And I am veering again this weekend.  I will be back home on Monday.  No shoes, no shirt, no problems--I'm getting to it.

Cold and windy days

This late night blogging is difficult.  I find that by the end of the day, I'm fairly non-sensical.  Contributing to my nonsense is the cold and wind that permeated everything today, including every layer that I had on.  What can I say--I am a southerner which means that temperatures in the 20's are cold to me.  With the 35 knot breeze we had last night and this morning, it was pretty miserable to be outside or on the water.

I do have some photos from the oyster roast last night.  We braved the chill and had a great time.  There were a few hardy kids from Asheville who decided to spend the night in tents.  It looked like an Occupy movement in the back yard.

Anyway, here are some of the photos from the evening. The first few are indicative of the host's sense of humor. This is a great family with a lot of warmth and creativity. I am amazed at the great things they do--going to LEAF (a music festival in NC) every year, keeping a traveling journal in which strangers are asked to write their thoughts, painting, playing in a band, and working as a carpenter.  I am attracted to this kind of a family--open minded, clever, intellectual, and talented.  The grown kids are wonderful to be around.  And for the party,  he and his kids decided to decorate the portable toilet with some art work and an eery green light.  It was called a portal in time--LOL.  And it was one of the only places to get out of the wind.  

The portalet was decorated with art work
for the party

It was declared a portal to the future

And there was a manifesto about the
portalet time machine--remember to keep
arms and legs out of the portal hole!

G., the host, getting ready to explode the Christmas tree

The flaming tree signifies the official end of Christmas 

Eating some of the savory mollusks

Trying to stay warm!

Two old friends jamming. Back in the day, we used to crank it out. 

Lots of good music being played but the fingers got cold!

I have nothing else worthwhile to share.  I had a good weekend.  And tonight, we are warm and sitting in front of a fire.  Nothing but contentment here at the moment.  

Content

Today is one of those days when I feel content, at peace with myself and those around me, and filled with certainty that all is going according to a much greater plan than I could devise. These days aren't rare anymore, but they aren't always consistently present either.

I made a card for my wife and gave her a little present last night. Such little things made her happy. I think that we are both so grateful for the little things that we have now. I suppose that I am easily pleased these days. The times of being hyper-critical of myself and others are diminishing. Today I'm viewing that as a positive thing.

I am grateful that I don't pick apart every meal to find something unacceptable. I don't want to pick apart friends or companions with impossibly high criteria that will only widen a circle of isolation. I wonder how much perfectionism and high standards are really masks for not facing my own shortcomings.

My contentment stems from an understanding that perfectionism sets me at a distance from others. And that distance enhances my feelings of being different which leads down a treacherous path. As Mark Nepo writes: "The devastating truth is that excellence can't hold you in the night, and .......being demanding or sophisticated won't help you survive."

Instead I'm glad to find that contentment is not dependent on circumstances or other people. Instead, it depends on my outlook. Circumstances may color the world around me but joy comes from deep within. And the extraordinary is everywhere around me if I just take the time to look. A jewel can be as bright as a diamond or be the dew on morning grass. Music can be the sound that comes from a Stradivarius or the rain on the roof. Taste can be a five-star meal in a fine restaurant or a hot dog cooked over a camp fire.

It's all good today.

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
—Helen Keller