Monday, June 11, 2007
I got home around 4 PM this afternoon. Amazingly enough, I wasn't too tired so decided to make the 7 PM meeting that I've missed for several weeks. We talked about alcoholism and it's effects on the family. The discussion came from the Alateen book. Once again the discussion was a reminder that this is a family disease, not just because there is a genetic component but mainly because it affects everyone in the family.
It was good to see the people from my home group and talk with my sponsor. He stayed after the meeting to just catch up on how I was doing.
I guess that I'm doing fairly well, although it seems that there was an abundance of uptight stuff on this cruise. People who take themselves way too seriously. People who are unhappy and miserable with life at sea for long periods. I guess that I was ready to get away from the people there and return home. One of the things that I shared was that on the night that we got into port, I walked over to the bar across the street just before closing and had a couple of drinks. I know it was my response to pent up feelings. And because of using the rationale of unwinding, I can see easily how it would be tempting to slam down a few more and just keep going. The wanting to use alcohol to unwind though was the feeling that made me think how it must be for the alcoholic. The difference is that I stopped after two. Other than that, I would say that maybe I need to get back in touch with my HP and turn over a lot of the feelings that I harbored on this trip.
What I'm grateful for is that tonight I'm sleeping in my own bed and not a hard bunk. I'm seeing the people that I love and not a bunch of strangers. I'm writing to all of you in a quiet location rather than a crowded lab on a ship. I'm also letting go of the bad stuff in my head, breathing easy, and thankful that I don't have to go back out for a week. Not much else to say. I'm starting to wind down now and needing to get some rest.