Monday, August 27, 2007

Another great weekend

It seems that my life today is on a path of happiness. I know that my own mind can cause things to go awry if I'm not working the program but for the moment all seems okay. I had a brief trip out of town, followed by some time back home just relaxing.

I took my laptop with me while I was away but never even opened it. For some reason, I just felt like enjoying some down time without emails or any other reminders of things that I needed to get done. I just wanted to take the time to relax, get one commitment that I had to do completed, and then just wander around, eat at a nice restaurant, and generally be lazy.

I had some work that I could have done but I just didn't want to do anything that would interfere with the freedom and happiness that I felt. It is uncharacteristic of me to think this way. I've always been the one who had to get going, work on things, felt responsible, and felt guilty for not doing. I seem to have lost my guilt and my urge to be busy. I want to do those things that feel good and that simply allow me to exist in a peaceful state. Some days I think that I may be shirking too much responsibility and feeling too good. Maybe it's the pink cloud or the fourth dimension or some altered state of mind but whatever it is, I know that my way of thinking is very different than it was before I came into the program. For that, I'm grateful.


  1. Nice post. Glad you had a relaxing weekend. Yeah I get that. And Sponsees.
    'Human being not a human doing.' -That's what I call it.
    I tried to describe what (I think) you describe here in the post called "The 'old life' loses its luster" Its about when we are no longer so 'caught up' in the 'world'. Its just seems less 'compelling'. I don't mean 'life', I mean the array of pointless distractions that get in the way of REAL living. But for the sake of convenience I call it the 'world'.
    The solution? To be "In The World But Not Of It"
    All sounds very healthy to me. But yes, I struggle to ? Achieve and put weight in external things. Its FAR too easy for me to be a laid back hippy. I have to 'act as if' these worldly goals fulfill a useful purpose too. Exam grades, my job, the amount of money I earn. I stopped believing these things would change how I feel LONG ago, but in order to function well in this life, I have to attend to these things. "Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water." as the Zens say..

  2. It is nice to get outside of ourselves and just relax. I am happy you had the opportunity to do so this weekend Syd. You certainly deserve it. And thank you for all of your support.


  3. bill said it so exquisitely. We all need our quite time. Sounds like you are at peace with you & your HP...hang on to it, cuz life does happen.

  4. excellent thinking there! one doesn't always get the chance to be guilt free and do nothing, so when you get it, enjoy it! sounds like a super weekend by the way!


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