Thursday, November 29, 2007


Listening is one of the things that now comes easy to me. I'd rather listen to someone else talk than to be the center of attention myself.  One of the things that I disliked about scientific meetings was to have to do "shop" talk when I really just wanted to be quiet and have some solitude.  

Sharing at Al-Anon meetings has been sometimes easy and sometimes difficult for me.  I used to dread having to share because I felt that I didn't have anything but pain to offer.  Now I see the solutions more clearly.  And I try to stick to the topic so that I don't ramble.  Still I often get so much just by listening to others share their E, S, and H. 

There have been many times though that I didn't want to listen to anyone.  I didn't want to listen to my father when I was a teenager.  I thought that I knew best and was sure in my stance and stubborn as a mule.  And there are still subjects that evoke passionate opinions from me, such as politics and conservation ethics.  

With the alcoholic,  I actually listened to the drunken self pity and the morning after apologies.  What I really wanted was to shut out the slurred words and the philosophical meanderings of a drunken mind.  Now I've come to realize that it would have been best if I'd not listened to any of that or tried to argue back or even tried to make sense by offering rational advice.  I've learned to trust my inner voice and to listen to it.  When that inner voice tells me that something isn't right, I listen and don't ignore it.  If it tells me to remove myself from an unacceptable situation, then I pay close attention.  If it tells me to keep my mouth shut and sit tight, then I inventory the situation and make a decision.  

Listening is a powerful part of the program.  Sometimes by just keeping quiet,  the answers that I seek become clear. 


  1. I can learn ten times the amount of information by listening rather than talking.

  2. oh that inner voice that we (used to) love to ignore. i've come to value those whispers highly now!

    love your post!

  3. Good post. I am also learning to examine what is going on when I am not listening so that I can refocus myself to the moment.

  4. I was talking about my inner voice the other day. Sometimes I need to calm down to hear its sane message. It's always there if when I am ready. It just amazes me how easy it is for me to get lost sometimes, even now.

  5. I didn't share in meetings for a long time, because of the pain, but also, I could hardly talk, everything came out garbled. When I finally did, I just knew noone would understand me, & I said so, everyone nodded their heads up & down, & said, yes, we understand you, Sharon, welcome. I felt so much love & understanding at that moment, & I connected. I wasn't alone anymore. Yes, I shared alot of pain in the beginning, & that was my experience, which is all I had in the beginning. I obtained my strength & hope later. I try to carry the message today, but I still share my E,S,& H. I'm happy to say there are solutions today, that I sure didn't know about then.
    I can look back, & everytime I got myself into bad situations, I remember saying afterwards, I should have listened to that inner voice. I pay more attention to it now.

    I get so many solutions, & perspectives when listening, I sometimes also get what I don't want.

  6. That's the Number One lesson I'm trying to live each day...To listen without blaming and to speak without being defensive. Just to listen...

  7. Listening for God, thanks, I need to do more listening, leaving gaps and listening, cleaning house leaves gaps, God am glad I stopped by, I've missed you :)


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.