Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Is my life unmanageable?

I met with my first sponsee last night to begin discussion on Step One. I can see myself in much of what he talks about. I think that he is very bright and knows more about the program than I did when I came in. I shared with him the materials that were provided to me for working Step One.

One is the list of questions that I've put below. These questions helped me to see where I am and to instill in me that I need to have rigorous honesty in my answers. I thought that some of you might want to use it in your own recovery.

1. Do I constantly seek approval and affirmation?

2. Do I fail to recognize or believe my accomplishments?

3. Do I fear criticism?

4. Do I overextend myself?

5. Have I had problems with my own compulsive behavior?

6. Do I have a need for perfection?

7. Am I uneasy when my life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?

8. Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?

9. Do I still feel responsible for others, as I did for the problem drinker in my life?

10. Do I care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for myself?

11. Do I isolate myself from other people?

12. Do I respond with anxiety or hostility to authority figures and angry people?

13. Do I feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of me?

14. Do I have trouble with intimate relationships?

15. Do I confuse pity with love, as I did with the problem drinker?

16. Do I attract and seek people who tend to be compulsive?

17. Do I cling to relationships because I am afraid of being alone?

18. Do I often mistrust my own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?

19. Do I find it difficult to express by emotions?

20. Am I attracted to people who have lots of problems I think I can fix?


  1. What a great list. You know, after years of sobriety I still need to stay pretty close to all the steps, and lists like this help me look at them with fresh eyes.

  2. Sort of ironic that I picked up that same booklet at yesterday's meeting and thought about posting it on my own blog. They are great questions.

  3. I know someone who could use a read of that list..Thank you Syd.
    PS>I noted a couple of things I need to beware of still myself.

  4. Excellent list. I was talking to my therapist today about how ingrained some of these behaviors are still in me, but at least now I catch them at the inception and am able to help work myself out of the bad thinking. Recovery is a slow process, but I can see it working in a very real way.

    That list is actually not a bad reminder, of where I came from and where to be aware of my behavior.

  5. Some nasty, nasty stuff.

  6. great questions. thanks for posting them. i'm going to go through them. properly!


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