Friday, April 25, 2008


I want to share with you what Kahlil Gibran writes about marriage in ‘The Prophet’.

“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

I used to think that I needed to be intertwined in a relationship. That I wasn't complete without the other person. I know that was the result of years of insecurity from childhood fears of abandonment and fear around the alcoholic.
It's nice now to know that I have an identity that has freedom and happiness without all the old fears. I know that it has been much better for my relationship. We stand together but can enjoy being who we are. And that has made each of us much happier.

Enjoying the day here and all that it has to offer.


  1. Hi Syd, you know you are right when you share its like God speaks through you, so I guess its best to keep you mind empty until the moment you share since anything u prepare will interfere with divine wisdom.
    I aint been in a relationship for ages now, I would love to have a partner in this life but nothing seems to have happened yet, I doesnt help when you aint got the gift of the gab

  2. I'm going to my first alanon meeting today, and im pretty nervous. I have no idea what to expect.

    I thought I was fine for a while, and this year is the first time in my 25 years that I realized that Im NOT, and Im finally dealing with this stuff, because I dont want to carry it around anymore.

    If you ever want to email, or talk. Or just vent. You can email me at

    PS - im not trying to pick you up, Im also in a relationship. I'm just reaching out. Thanks.

  3. That's really beautiful, Syd. My husband and I have a good mix of togetherness and separateness. I would not be happy alone though. I know they say we need to be happy alone also. But if I lost him, I would not be happy. Now having the house to myself....that is a different story! Bring it on!


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