I’ve been to meetings lately where there have been quite a few newcomers. They are in a lot of pain from living with an active alcoholic.
At last night’s meeting there was a young lady there whose boyfriend had left her on Friday. As she described it, he left and hasn’t contacted her since. She has called him numerous times but he doesn’t answer his cell phone. She said that she wants to know why—Why did he leave without saying goodbye? Why did he tell her he loved her and then leave? Why won’t he answer his phone and talk to her?
These are questions that many of us have asked at one time or another. After the meeting, all we could offer to her was that he is probably using and absorbed in his addiction. We tried to assure her that it’s not her fault. And we gave her phone numbers and took hers to offer our E, S, and H.
This girl is so young to be feeling sad and hopeless. I think about her having so much to look forward to, but she has become involved with a person who cares more about himself and his drugs/booze than about her. Hopefully, she’ll be able to understand more about how powerless she is over another person. I hope that she keeps coming back.
i wouldn't want to be new again for anything.. !! sounds like this person has great support from you all :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so frustrating to see a good human heartbroken over someone no good for them..But we all learn on our own time.You will be there for her if she comes back .
ReplyDeleteDon't mix that red shirt in with the white towels..just say'in..
It is heart breaking when someone you love and you know loves you is wrapped up in themselves to extent that you become a thing rather than a person. I know that reading this today helped me to remember that I am not alone. It helped me see how far I have come. It reminded me that no one can ever know what another person should do, or offer advice. The loving support I have gotten in the program has gently allowed me to find my own way, in my own time.
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning we are all asking why, why, why.I remember the night I got through my head that my love could never compete with heroin.
ReplyDeleteSo cool you take time to really help people. You're so sincere & it comes across in your writing.
i can empathise with that feeling of fighting against something you can't compete against. and the helplessness that washes over you as a result. but she's in good hands with you all there.
ReplyDeleteLike molly says, I wouldnt want to go back and start again, you feel you have walked a long journey in AA but more you wonder and bigger peaks come into view.
ReplyDeletePoor girl, I know myself how alcohol consumes you, thats how I ended up alone, I still ache for the people I hurt in the past
I met a young woman in a meeting last night also. She has been sober 40 days. She was crying, she asked "how did so much time pass while I was drinking without me noticing how many people I was hurting?" It was a question lots of us ask when we get here.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the sooner I let go of trying to understand my higher power's plans, the sooner I can accept them. 'Why' is a seductive question. Sometimes we get to learn the answer, but very often we have to learn to be happy without it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the newcomers don't realize how much we miss them when they don't come back. We have a young mother of two who's husband is now calling her a f***ing bitch in front of the kids and their friends. I wonder how she is doing.
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