"Most folks in Al Anon only want to complain. Most do not read the text books.
Most woman in Al Anon hate men. Al Anon for the most part is a dangerous and unhealthy environment for men." Steven H.
I decided to post my email address on my blog because a couple of people asked for it. I may be asking for it too since the first email message I received was from Steven who sent me his assessment of Al-Anon.
I don't think that I attend the same meetings as Steven because my experience hasn't been as he describes. When he writes that folks in Al-Anon only want to complain, I've found that the experiences shared are not so much complaining as being in pain. And that's primarily newcomers who haven't had much time in the program. Steven, if you've lived with an alcoholic for a while, there might be some complaining but in Al-Anon, we learn to quit bitchin' and start to listen.
As far as "text" books, we don't read any of them in meetings but read conference approved literature. Those include the daily readers such as One Day at a Time, Courage to Change, and Hope for today, as well as the books How Al-Anon Works, Paths to Recovery and many others. Outside of meetings, I read as much as I can on co-dependency, alcoholism, and whatever else seems of interest and relevant to living with an alcoholic.
Hmmm..... I disagree with the statement that most women in Al-Anon hate men. I haven't seen that one either. We're a pretty friendly group Steven. I know that in Al-Anon we often say that we hate the disease of alcoholism but love the individual. Acceptance is part of the program as is detachment with love.
And lastly, to say that Al-Anon is a dangerous and unhealthy environment for men is perplexing. The dangerous and unhealthy environment for me was living with an alcoholic without the benefit of Al-Anon. I had lived for most of my life in an environment that was distorted by alcoholism. I experienced anger, shame, guilt, sadness, hopelessness that led me to not trust, feel empty, and be depressed. I was on my way to an emotional bottom. Al-Anon has been a life saver for me.