Saturday, August 30, 2008

Start your engines

Well, in this case, I'm putting up my sails which are like engines on the boat and heading out for the island anchorage. It seems to me to have been a long week. But now it's time for a three day weekend which means that I'll get some rest, reading, and reprieve.

I was pleased that I received an excellent on my performance evaluation for the year. The director told me that generally people slow down in their performance as they near retirement, but I hadn't done that. I felt a bit like I had cheated though because in my heart I have slowed down. I do the things that are part of my job but not nearly with the the enthusiasm that I used to have. Perhaps I need to say something about that but I didn't.

It's true that on paper my achievements have been good over the past year. I've brought in funding, published papers, been active on national and state committees, etc. In short, I've done my job. In years past, I would have thought that I deserved an excellent rating. But the truth is that I don't think such a rating was deserved this year. Maybe it's because my heart and head weren't in alignment regarding my job. In my life, I feel much better about who I am and what I enjoy. Work just doesn't have the dominance in my life like it used to. I've learned that there are things out there to do that I enjoy and those less stressful things are what seem to bring me joy.

So, I'll be thinking about some of this over the weekend. But I'm also not going to let it ruin my weekend. Like I've heard in the rooms, "It is what it is."


  1. well done on your excellent!!! and enjoy your long weekend all you lucky people!

  2. It seems you've expanded your horizons. You are NOT your career.
    Maybe you're blossoming.

  3. Hi Syd,

    I agree with Daave! I remember when I was working how dedicated I was, because I needed to have some sort of identification other than that of mother, wife, etc, etc, etc; and then, with the help of Al-Anon and the 4th step inventory, I finally discovered that there was a real person living inside the skin that was me, and all the 'stuff' I did was merely my support that enhanced my existence, NOT the real me. I love who I am today. By the way, I also received my best evaluations during my greatest pain; ironic, isn't it! Congratulations, Syd. It is what it is! Love, Anonymous #1

  4. If I am doing work which is in line with God's will for me, it helps me raise my enthusiasm level. (I've forgotten what you do, if I ever knew.) But we do not have to save the world, just be ready when He needs our human help--isn't that a marvelous thought? That God might need MY help?

    Holy God , we praise Thy Name..."

  5. Maybe you are being overly hard on yourself (a lot of that in Al-A!).
    You come across as someone that gives their best in any endeavor. Now that I'm more at peace, I give the job my best, but not my ALL anymore.

  6. When maturity of life sets in, sometimes then we see what's REALLY important in life. It is important to do our jobs well, of course, but the peace of life comes from so much more outside our jobs.....our family, our friends, our faith and our passions. Someday I hope to hear "Good work. You did your job well. Now come and be my partner." (Matt. 225:23, The Message)

    Excellently done!

  7. Nice pic. Sounds to me like you're a bit hard on yourself (like me). So normally maybe you do an outstanding job and this year it was only excellent? Maybe balancing work and real life aren't such a bad idea, 'eh?


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