Saturday, August 30, 2008
Start your engines
Well, in this case, I'm putting up my sails which are like engines on the boat and heading out for the island anchorage. It seems to me to have been a long week. But now it's time for a three day weekend which means that I'll get some rest, reading, and reprieve.
I was pleased that I received an excellent on my performance evaluation for the year. The director told me that generally people slow down in their performance as they near retirement, but I hadn't done that. I felt a bit like I had cheated though because in my heart I have slowed down. I do the things that are part of my job but not nearly with the the enthusiasm that I used to have. Perhaps I need to say something about that but I didn't.
It's true that on paper my achievements have been good over the past year. I've brought in funding, published papers, been active on national and state committees, etc. In short, I've done my job. In years past, I would have thought that I deserved an excellent rating. But the truth is that I don't think such a rating was deserved this year. Maybe it's because my heart and head weren't in alignment regarding my job. In my life, I feel much better about who I am and what I enjoy. Work just doesn't have the dominance in my life like it used to. I've learned that there are things out there to do that I enjoy and those less stressful things are what seem to bring me joy.
So, I'll be thinking about some of this over the weekend. But I'm also not going to let it ruin my weekend. Like I've heard in the rooms, "It is what it is."