"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. " Helen KellerI had the occasion to go to a memorial service for the brother of a friend of mine. The brother was profoundly retarded and had lived nearly all of his 42 years in an institution.
The service was simple with a few moving testimonials. One caregiver talked about how the deceased would cover his face with his hands when she first started to work with him. After a few weeks, she asked him to put his hands down so that she could see his eyes. She was struck by their soulful beauty. She asked him to not hide his eyes when she came in. And even though he had the tested mentality of a one-year old, he would place his hands in his lap when she would come in.
Another caregiver talked about how he sought perfect leaves and pine cones. He would point from his wheel chair towards a leaf, examine it and twirl it, and if it was perfect, he would keep it. He did the same with pine cones. He kept those treasures on a shelf behind his door. Sometimes, he would crawl out of his bed at night and grope his way across the floor to check on his leaves and cones. This was his kind of hobby, his passion.
His father talked about how he wanted to have a normal conversation some day with his son. He said that his son was now free of his wheel chair, and that in the not too distant future, he believed that he would have that conversation with him.
Who knows what this severely disabled man thought about his leaves? Who knows how he communicated? It all seemed so God inspired to me. There are so many things that we don't understand. And in so many ways, we are each handicapped by our fear of that.
Someday, we'll understand. Until then ...
ReplyDeleteWe mourn those who we will see again, have seen for lifetimes.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true; fear keeps us captive, in areas of which we may not even be aware.
ReplyDeleteWe can learn from anyone - we don't have to set up barriers between us and those we do not understand.
you are very thoughtful...deep for words you are..very curious about the future...
ReplyDeletei enjoyed reading it...
cheers!!
It is so true that we are handicapped by our lack of understanding. Perhaps the pine cone collection was your friends way of trying to understand the world around him ... to touch something physical that held meaning. And perhaps it was his way of communicating. Of course, it would have been nice to hold a conversation with him, but we deal with the handicaps we're given ... even those that deal with our lack of understanding.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with what Cheryl said.if we do not put up barriers between us and some one that is not "normal" we can learn from them and share life with them.After all we are God's children.
ReplyDeletePerfect leaves and pine cones. God provides these free of charge and this special person saw the beauty and infinite value in them. Us normal people need our computers, tv's and a whole bunch of other things to keep us entertained. We need to work long hours to get these.
ReplyDeleteYou are right to say that we are each handicapped.
Interesting that he was able to understand the one caregiver, to a limited degree. Who knows how many connections may have been made with intensive one on one treatment.
ReplyDeleteI too collect pine cones. I love them because they don't die. I've had some since I was a child. I have a bowl of pine cones in almost every room of my house.
ReplyDeleteI believe I would have liked your friends brother. Maybe one day he and I can discuss our love of pine cones.
In seeing the beauty in others we see life how it should be viewed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this story. You're so right. Maybe he was handicapped by our standards but who knows what abilities he had that we couldn't see with our human eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful story Syd. Thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteReflections and perspectives, gives new meaning to the words gratitude. Thanks for your thoughts today
ReplyDeleteVery nice post, a wonderful reminder of what we are all here for and who we all really are....thank you!
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Syd. You're absolutely right; we're all handicapped. Most of us who think of ourselves as "normal" have no idea what we don't see/know yet. Someday we'll know.
ReplyDeletePeace - D