Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Fourth step meeting

We had a great meeting on Step Four last night at my home group. We discussed these points about this step:
  • In approaching Step 4 after working Steps 1, 2, and 3, I am not able to look inside myself and make a list of things that I find positive and wonderful about myself.
  • In approaching Step 4, I am now able to look inside myself and make a list of negative things that I have thought about myself.
  • I am now able to look inside myself and see the things that I have done that have hurt others, no matter how small the incident.
  • I am now willing to be honest about my attitude--whenever negative thoughts trigger resentments within my spirit.
  • I am now able to see the things I have done that have caused other grief, even though it may have been only a small part.
  • I am willing to write down a list of positive things about myself.
  • I am now willing to be honest and list my shortcomings and character defects.
  • I am now willing to make a simple list of things about myself that I consider good and not so good.
  • I am willing to acknowledge that working this step will set me free from the obsession of having made bad choices or errors in judgment.
  • I can now acknowledge that this inventory is merely a list of things about myself and that I can talk honestly about them and put them behind me as part of my past.
I learned from doing my Step Four that I was really hard on myself. I know that I need to be gentle with myself now. My defects ran my life, but by facing my fears and resentments, they seemed to loosen their hold on me. I recognize my defects and can work on them.

I needed this meeting last night. I had been feeling anxious yesterday. I heard one of the members share last night that her life is filled with contentment and peace. I wasn't filled with that last night and acknowledged my feelings. It felt good to talk about my fears.

And like a miracle, this morning I felt relieved of my anxiety. Maybe it was sharing about what was bothering me. Maybe it was getting the rest that I needed last night. Maybe it was the prayer that I said before sleeping. I'm just grateful to be in a better place today.


  1. i'm grateful too that you're feeling better. the power of a 'secret' is released with you speak. that's what you did, good!

  2. my defects ran my life - I so get this!

  3. I think you are pretty kewl and often benefit from your sharing! I shared last night at our literature meeting how grateful I am to have a fellowship online that I can go to anytime and realize I am among friends. thanks Syd..


  4. I really liked this post. Step 4 is the way to freedom, and being able to see ourselves with a kind and loving heart.

  5. I am glad you feel peace today and feeling better. I wonder WHY we can't have those days everyday? I guess we are not perfect, releasing to me is a hard step in my life, I keep to much bottled inside, when I can share it feels GOOD.. :}

  6. "like a miracle"! You have a great, warm way of explaining the program.

  7. It really is like a miracle. I can't explain the peace that I feel when I'm working the program. I do know this: It comes from reaching outside myself. From the groups, the people, the steps, my Higher Power. Glad you're there.

  8. Cat's comment brought this to my mind
    ...I still have certain defects--but they do not run my life any more.

    I now know--with your help and God's help--how to say "NO"!

    This is not perfection, it is often a momentary struggle--with me, at least.

  9. Hi Syd,

    Loved your 4th step blog; really enjoyed all the comments, also. But the best one that hit me between the eyes was Steve's statement - - - about how to say NO! (Thanks, Steve - - - I need to practice forming this word a bit better!)
    Love and hugs to you all,
    Anonymous #1

  10. Thanks Syd, I like the part about being honest about my attitude.

  11. We don't get to write down a positive list about ourselves in our program, but eventually they start shining through.
    Loved this post.

  12. you know i didn't want to go to a meeting last week when I was in such an anxious space, and I had the same miracle the next morning, no anxiety. So I continued to call my sponsor and i will be at the meeting tonight. Miracles never cease.

  13. I know that feeling of anxiety and wondering how to get back to peace. Prayer is the key for me too. I have been feeling a lot of discontent lately when thinking about spending a lot of time with my in-laws in the near future who use alcohol to celebrate every occasion. I just don't want my son to be around this. My husband understands to a point. I have been praying and asking for peaceful feelings toward them. It comes to me but I have to constantly remind myself to let go of my fear.

  14. Sharing what is going on in the day is one of the most important things we do. To say just how it is, simply, without wanting feedback, allows me to voice my feelings to myself, in the open. This cristalises those feelings in to some thing tangible, something I can touch and act on. It's the best kept secret in AA. Sharing.


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.