Thursday, April 23, 2009
The opposite of love
“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference......." Elie Wiesel
Prayer Girl gave me this award that's about being a friend and propagating more friendships through blogging. That's a neat idea because I never thought that in those years just before I came to Al-Anon that I was much of a friend.
I was mostly indifferent towards people--not really going out of my way to make friends and not really putting a lot of energy into the ones that I had. I didn't hate anyone, but I felt that there were people who didn't like me. I didn't have any factual basis for those thoughts. I would use examples of what I thought were slights to confirm that I was an outsider, a loner, and misunderstood. It was simply another example of the distorted thinking that I wrote about in yesterday's post.
I've always liked people. I enjoy what they have to say, what experiences they have to share. Sometimes it's hard to get through to the real person, but I've found that if I'm real then that helps immensely. And there are times that I still feel misunderstood. But then it helps for me to look at what's behind that feeling, what my role is, and move forward without resentment. And to not be indifferent. Tough to do at times.
This week I've called a sponsee a number of times. He's missed two meetings with me. I wrote him yesterday to tell him that I was thinking of him and hoping that he was okay. I also said that I was available whenever he wanted to get together. I didn't just blow him off with indifference. God hears these things because I got a message from him a few minutes ago telling me that he was sorry for not being in touch, had been swamped, and would see me at the noon meeting. I can accept this and be glad that he is going to a meeting. Funny how when you reach out your hand instead of withdrawing it, good things happen.
So with this award I want to call attention to some new friends that I've made through blogging. These bloggers carry a good message. I'd like for you to read what they have to say, give them a comment, and if you'd like to, keep visiting their site and let them know that you're not indifferent. That's the blogger love buzz.
1. Jim at Alive and Smiling
2. Joe at On a Clear Day
3. Kelly at Ordinary Art
4. Cheryl at Through an Al-Anon Filter
5. Sydney at Anonymous Adventures in Real Life
6. GG at GLog
7. Her Big Sad
8. Christina at Just Letting Go
9. Inky at Poems, Thoughts, Anything Goes
10. Rosalia at Whose Life Am I Living Anyway?
11. Nan at Off the Soapbox
And I know that I've missed some names here. I'm supposed to list 8, but I'll be glad to give you a shout out if you'll let me know. Friends are more than numbers.