Sunday, June 21, 2009

Heard in a meeting and a message to my dad

We're here because we weren't all there.

You can be a survivor or a victim. Being a survivor means that you work through things. Being a victim brings a lot of pain.

There are times when I think that there will be no more good times. But being in here, I can dare to hope and not let disappointment wreck me.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.....The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.

Don't take things too seriously...... Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.


I wrote this letter to my father when I did my ninth step. It seems appropriate to post it here today as I did several years ago:

Dear Dad:

I think about you often and over the past year have come to love you more than I believe I ever did. I have thought and spoken of all the things that you taught me. I wouldn’t have learned to love the water as I do if it hadn’t been for you. And because of what you taught me about boats, I’ve made a career of not only doing my work from boats but seeing many things in the ocean that few have ever seen. I am grateful for what I learned from you.

I’ve often wished that you were here so that we could talk about how things are now in my life. I’m not the same person that I was in 1985 which was the last time that I talked with you. And I’m not the same person that I was a year ago when I decided to change my life for the better. I’m in a program that has helped me to learn more about myself and to take responsibility for how I live my life. I always thought that I was responsible in my life but the difference is that I’m living a spiritual life now. And it’s a wonderful feeling because it means that I can look inward at myself and my faults in an effort to be a better person. And I can do this without being afraid. I no longer am angry at myself or feel empty.

I know that when I was young, I was strong willed, independent and proud. I loved you, but I also feared you. I wanted your approval and thought that I could get that by changing who I was. Yet in doing so, I built up resentment and anger. There were times when I wished that you would die. I know now that I can change but it’s to be the person that my Higher Power wants me to be. I no longer want to shape myself to be what another person wants me to be. I don’t need to do that anymore.

I have learned from this spiritual program that we all make mistakes in living and that we all need improvement. I know that you did the best that you could do for me. I realize that you always loved me and wanted what was best for me. You taught me many good traits of character. These are lessons that I will carry with me and that will hold me in good stead for the rest of my life.

What I need to tell you is that I also always loved you. For those times when I was filled with resentment and anger, I am truly sorry. I have learned that resentment and fear are human emotions but that they keep me from being truly free in my mind and heart. I am working every day to recognize when resentment and fear occur and take steps to not be consumed by them.

Finally, I want you to know that if I could physically be with you today, I would take you out on my boat, show you the beauty of the water here, and enjoy your company.

Your loving son,



  1. My dad died suddenly, I never made peace with him. I wish I had been able to tell him a few things as you did.

    The letter is honest and kind. Thanks for sharing.

  2. What a beautiful letter! And I am not just saying that although those are the easiest words when the tears in your eyes are keeping your fingers from staying on the keyboard. Thank you.

  3. I cannot write I am filling with tears. Syd, you are God's helper. Your spirit is large. You are on the right path, I think you have found all the steps, and have opened gates for me , for all who follow You.

    Your father loves you, he will always be with you, I know my loving spirit tells me they are never really gone.

    God bless you. HUGS

  4. Beautiful. Living a life today, the best way we can and cherishing the lessons that our fathers taught us and the memories we have of the times together, is the greatest acknowledgement of the love our parents gave us. We are their memorial, their lifetimes work. Have a good weekend Syd and thank you for this post.

  5. That is a wonderful letter to your father. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

  6. beautiful, absolutely beautiful...

  7. Thank you for sharing such an honest and intimate Step 9 amends to your father. It is through others that we learn, and God has graced you with the ability to teach by example. Very touching.

  8. Lovely sentiment...

    Blessings and aloha...

  9. Your father would be so proud of the man you are today. Thanks for sharing this and the "overheard in a meeting" were perfect for me today.

  10. I have no regrets. For that I am truly grateful!

  11. I'm SO glad I'm right here at this moment in time.

  12. Syd its wonderful. And what a perfect day to post it on.

  13. Wow! Thank you for sharing your 9th step, touching.


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