Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I'm sorry to read that Steve has decided to move on. There is something unsettling to me about having people who I have come to "know" move out of my life. It's no doubt the old fear of abandonment coming back and trying to worm its way into my head.

Steve has provided a lot of great insight into AA. He and I blogged in tandem about the traditions. I think that both of us were relieved to complete those posts, even though it was a great learning experience for me.

I believe that Steve will do well with whatever he decides to do. He wrote that he is "disenchanted, dispirited, disillusioned, disheartened, dishonored, and disgusted" with his life. I can identify with those thoughts since I had them for much of my life. I'm thankful to have figured out that I'm not defined by those words any longer.

They are the "boogeymen" that come out of the darkness as I live this journey of recovery. The good thing is that I understand my journey towards being a better person will be a long one. And I'm not going to be traveling alone. You and others will accompany me. There are going to be lots of diversions, obstacles, and difficulties along the way. But if I can just keep that celestial spark within, I think that I'll keep going.

I particularly like the following daily reading:

"You were born with a spark of the Divine within you. It had been all but smothered by the life you were living. That celestial fire has to be tended and fed so that it will grow eventually into a real desire to live the right way. By trying to do the will of God, you grow more and more in the new way of life. By thinking of God, praying to Him, and having communion with Him, you gradually grow more like Him. The way of your transformation from the material to the spiritual is the way of Divine Companionship." From Twenty-Four Hours a Day

I need to keep that spark of celestial fire going within me. I hope that Steve tends his flame as he moves on in his journey. He has given his time and energy to many others. Thanks Steve for helping make things brighter for me.

PS: Steve is back! I bet he inventoried, prayed, digested, and spit out a blog post. One day at a time we do what seems right on the day. I've learned that "never" is a God word. Welcome back Steve. Glad that you got back on the horse.


  1. Good morning, Syd! I will honor Steve's request of 'no comments' - - - but will tell YOU that I, too, shall miss his wisdom within your blog-circle.

    One consolation -- - The very opening sentence in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, "We alcoholics who HAVE recovered . . ." Perhaps Steve is moving into a higher calling, for that I do pray (as he requested).

    As a Good Al-Anon-er - - - I tried very hard to NOT read depression into his negative reason for leaving. Prayers, again.

    Anonymous #1

  2. Well said. I love the quote. Thanks for sharing this!

  3. This is a great tribute to all Steve has given you. I wish him the best of luck!

  4. Syd, I am really humbled by the remarks about my "leaving". I'm still reading here (some peeps) and have certainly not "moved on to a higher calling"...WOW!

    I think I moved down a few notches, but only for a day or two. I enjoy your blog immensely, and will continue to do so.

    I just need to get away and look at some behaviors of mine which need changing. Thanks again for your concern, Syd,

  5. I am stealing that quote.

    Things are not always as they seem to be.

  6. Syd,

    Thank you for this. I am going to miss Steve and his words of wisdom immensely. I am not sure how to put all of that into words though. You did it elegantly.

  7. I can see many reasons why a person would need to get away from the blogging world. Steve will be missed.

  8. Syd I am a work in progress and taking time for re-evaluation is sometimes a daily thing in my life. That is not something that came easy - because I knew everything when I started this program! Ha!

    The series that you and Steve did in tandem was one of my favorites and I learned a great deal from both of you posting about the steps... it helped me.


  9. Best of luck to Steve!

    and to all of us on this path!!

  10. Thanks Syd for this share today. Although I did not know Steve people move in and out of my life. It has been hard to deal with due to my guess what?
    Oh yes fears and abandonment.
    Alanon, Aca, being raised in an alcoholic home left its opportunity for growth all over my life..

  11. I always enjoy the wisdom of your post. Love the 24 hours quote.

  12. Syd...a person named Lyn commented "Another one bites the dust..." and do you know that p'ss'd me off, being "another who bit the dust..."

    So I wrote a blog and posted it...I feel like such a dork. If that's not a word, I'm making it one!

  13. So after that last comment he made, perhaps he is back??

  14. Yay, Steve is back. I love what you said about "never" is a God word. I am grateful for that.

  15. We all need to regress sometimes.
    I can totally relate.He may very well find some hidden strengths and will move forwards again....
    Just like so many of us ;)

    This was a great post - as usual.

  16. Being a "dork" - kind of has a neat ring to it!! :)

    But seriously, I love the idea of keeping "that celestial spark within..".
    I say, "yes" to that. I'm fanning that spark in hopes that it will become a "celestial fire" within me.


  17. I'm glad Steve left for a moment so he could read your sentiments - which I think represented a lot of people. Sometimes things go unsaid for too long. I didn't hear a word about Walter Cronkite until he was dead. For years, no one was celebrating Michael Jackson's life. Then, he was gone. So, now Steve knows that kind words will be written when he really does get sick of all this.

  18. while i dont wish spiritual discomfort on anyone, there's some sense of peace that comes to me knowing I am not the only one who suffers from teh EXACT same spiritual illnesses and symptoms from time to time. I too am glad Steve is sticking around :-)
    I've been absent from blogging for a few mos myself, and am hoping I am back with a vengeance, or whatever lol trying out a new site, new look, new format...

  19. Celestial fire... I like that. Thanks for posting that reading, Syd, it really spoke to me today.

  20. The word dork and similar may have the following meanings:
    Vulgar slang for "penis"

  21. Syd,
    I will never abandon you! Poor you. I am sitting here giggling as I type this.

    You are loved.


  22. I never knew these blogs existed and since I found them, they have become a part of me. It truly is a way to learn, vent and feel and not be looked at like a crazy person...(or maybe that too!)

    I have not had time to read the tandem posts between you and Steve but now that I see this post and the comments....I want to. I have read yours Syd...and your words and topics really help me. Thank you. Please don't leave either of you!

  23. You (and Steve) describe much of the negative BS that's in my life when I acknowledge it.

    As you relate, sometimes I have to deal with it, sometimes it's most appropriate to ignore it and press on, and the difference between the 2 is often conversations with my sponsor.

    Blessings and aloha...


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