I'm sorry to read that Steve has decided to move on. There is something unsettling to me about having people who I have come to "know" move out of my life. It's no doubt the old fear of abandonment coming back and trying to worm its way into my head.
Steve has provided a lot of great insight into AA. He and I blogged in tandem about the traditions. I think that both of us were relieved to complete those posts, even though it was a great learning experience for me.
I believe that Steve will do well with whatever he decides to do. He wrote that he is "disenchanted, dispirited, disillusioned, disheartened, dishonored, and disgusted" with his life. I can identify with those thoughts since I had them for much of my life. I'm thankful to have figured out that I'm not defined by those words any longer.
They are the "boogeymen" that come out of the darkness as I live this journey of recovery. The good thing is that I understand my journey towards being a better person will be a long one. And I'm not going to be traveling alone. You and others will accompany me. There are going to be lots of diversions, obstacles, and difficulties along the way. But if I can just keep that celestial spark within, I think that I'll keep going.
I particularly like the following daily reading:
"You were born with a spark of the Divine within you. It had been all but smothered by the life you were living. That celestial fire has to be tended and fed so that it will grow eventually into a real desire to live the right way. By trying to do the will of God, you grow more and more in the new way of life. By thinking of God, praying to Him, and having communion with Him, you gradually grow more like Him. The way of your transformation from the material to the spiritual is the way of Divine Companionship." From Twenty-Four Hours a Day
I need to keep that spark of celestial fire going within me. I hope that Steve tends his flame as he moves on in his journey. He has given his time and energy to many others. Thanks Steve for helping make things brighter for me.
PS: Steve is back! I bet he inventoried, prayed, digested, and spit out a blog post. One day at a time we do what seems right on the day. I've learned that "never" is a God word. Welcome back Steve. Glad that you got back on the horse.