I'm exhausted

Okay, I have to admit that I'm tired today. I feel good in my spirit and mind, but my body is just plain tired. Two days of walking miles on the beach, bending, sifting sand, and riding in power boats that pound on the waves has made my body weary.

I decided that I'm not going to row tonight. Instead, I'm going to go home, have a good dinner with my wife and her sponsor, and then read some blogs that I haven't had a chance to check this week and just chill out. I know when to say "enough" and to take care of myself.

I heard the news this morning about Ted Kennedy. I'm not going to discuss politics, but I do like the idea that he did a lot of good for a lot of people in his later years. I believe that his is a story of redemption. I also believe that people who have a dark side can move from that into the light. I've heard enough in the open AA meetings that I attend to know that people do get a second chance.

Sen. Kennedy had a brain tumor called glioblastoma multiforme. It is the same tumor that my cousin has. I called yesterday morning to check on how he is doing. His wife has some different ideas about how to deal with the tumor and the fact that my cousin has suffered a lot of cognitive disfunction from the radiation and other treatments as he has from the tumor itself. He is combative, incontinent, can walk only with help, and is demanding.

My cousin's wife has cared for him for over two years since the diagnosis. She believes in a healer who tells her of his progress. She believes that a team of dead neurosurgeons lives in his brain and are repairing things. I listen but make no disparaging remarks. Maybe her beliefs are what get her through a day of changing diapers, being screamed at, and having to endure uncertainty. Her beliefs aren't mine, but I've learned patience, compassion, and acceptance in the program. I've learned that there are many ways to survive getting through a day.

She told me yesterday that she could not put him in a nursing home. She simply loves him too much. I shall be lucky to end my life being cared for with such love.