My amends yesterday made me feel better. Although the person who chaired the meeting last week wasn't there, I called her last night and left a message saying that I would like to talk with her. I learned that she was upset because I left the meeting and thought that it was her fault. My behavior had a domino effect of making others feel bad. And my resentment that day did nothing for me at all. So I'm glad that I had a chance to clear that up at the meeting yesterday.
I am going to meet with a sponsee later today. He is making great progress on Step Four. In fact, two of my sponsees are tackling the rather daunting Blueprint for Progress book that is part of Al-Anon's Step Four. I can see the changes in them, and they have said that they feel as if they are finally getting it. It just takes a while.
I am not going out on the boat this weekend. I will likely go down to the boat and check on her, but Saturday is supposed to be rainy and cold. Sunday is the day of the gigantic oyster roast that we attend each year. There will be 10,000 bushels of oysters and thousands of people there to eat them. We have our tickets so I'm going to rest up for the Sunday festivities.
I hope that your Friday is going well.
Amends free me...again and again. I no longer apologize for everything nor do I hold chips on my shoulder like I use to. Clarity, awareness and courage to look at myself. That was what I got doing the 4th. It keeps me sane and simple.
ReplyDeleteNamaste (enjoy an oyster or two for me..we'll be shoveling snow..)
So far, so good. I have never had roasted oysters. Maybe someday.
ReplyDeleteHope your cold doesn't hang around too long. Take care and enjoy your weekend.
Syd, I recently heard of a local group that meets once a week, and does one question out of Blueprint together each week. They have been at it four years, and are almost done. All of them had already been through the steps once with a sponsor.
ReplyDeleteThis is a unique idea, and I'm considering joining such a group.
What does the F.I.N.E. mean? I've wondered and googled, but then I figured: if I want to know something, why not just ask?
ReplyDeletemmmm, oysters. yum.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better soon.
Hope you feel better soon, Syd. I miss oyster roasts. Enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Isn't it great when we find that making the amend not only helps us sweep up but sometimes has this powerful affect on others and allows relationships to grow!:)
ReplyDeleteI love that! Helps to give me the power to continue to make amends!
Pace yourself as you enjoy the weekend.
ReplyDeleteHope your cold is getting better, I find zinc lozenges work wonders!
ReplyDeleteAmends are such a gracious gift for us and I am so grateful to have them and use them as I need too!
Enjoy your weekend and get well.
Gabi
My Friday? So far so good!
ReplyDeleteStay warm and dry, feel better soon, and love the heck out of the oyster roast.
PG
Syd, what a surprise to see your comment on my post (where I've been hangin' out) on The Second Road (TSR).
ReplyDeleteYou have NO IDEA how I miss these blog posts! The first week was like detoxing w/o meds--which is how it happened with me. It's the only way I could finally end my craving and compulsion for this blog world.
I miss most of all you Peeps. Some days I ask myself the question, "Should I try to get back on track/steveroni? Or should I just kill myself?"
So I told me, "Wait, there is something else, a Second Road!"
I can hear your BOAT, saying, "Hey guys, here comes my owner Syd to check on me. I get a warm fuzzy feeling when he does that!"
And Syd....so do I!
Thanks!
Steve E
Hope you are feeling better for those oysters on Sunday!
ReplyDeletenever had Oysters, sorry your feeling unwell Syd, Ive had a day off today feel much better for it, I used one of my annual hols just to escape the treadmill
ReplyDeleteThat workbook "Blueprint for Recovery" changed my life and my recovery program. I still carry lots of gratitude for what that book accomplished when I was willing to do the work.
ReplyDeleteHope you're fully on the mend.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how this thing works just the way it's supposed to when you do it. Thank you for being responsible.
You can have my oysters - I don't eat them (have tried about every 10 years - still nope!).
Blessings and aloha...
In a perfect world you would not have been given the added burden of someone having hurt feelings because you left a meeting early. Your heart was in the right place when you felt led to make amends to the group.
ReplyDeletejust built a snowman 4 foot tall!! first snow of the season that the girls got to play with it!! just love this weather!!
ReplyDeletemy little bean looked out the window this morning and said "look momma more christmas!" awe she just kills me!!
It sounds like you did a great job with those amends. A productive, healing process for all. My amends squeamishness yesterday was clearly uncalled for. :)
ReplyDeleteLetting go of resentments is an instant face lift my friend.Even
ReplyDeleteif you feel tired with a touch of a cold.you look years younger ;)
btw..where do gigantic oysters live?
Love the oysters but don't like the smell of co-dependency. Ooh the power of peoples actions on us, yikes!
ReplyDeleteI'm a little behind and just read posts written from Monday to Friday. All strung together like that, you had quite a week, my friend. You lived through a lot. Glad you came out of a suicide, a crazy meeting and making amends with a visit to the boat.
ReplyDeleteGood that you found out what you did in making your amends. I always find that communication resolves most misunderstandings.
ReplyDeleteI think had I been you, uncomfortable about how a meeting was going, I think I would have spoken up about one thing that I value about program? One time, a child was in attendance at a meeting, who kept asking questions when folks shared~ I was not happy with it, though others in the group were laughing and it was encouraging the child to continue in this way. So I took the next available turn and spoke about how much I valued in our meetings that no one interrupts another, and that it made the meeting safe that only one person speaks at a time, and I did not look at the child, but I was as kind as I could be. But very firm, and then I shared briefly. And the child did not interrupt any more and I think the mom was grateful, but knew I meant the best for her child and the group. The boy was young and did not know better, but he also was smart enough to understand me. I've always understood (though most folks won't do it) that if I am uncomfortable, I have a responsibility to speak up about the principle and why it is important, so as to set the best possible example for a total newcomer.
Hope you feel better in time for oysters. yummmm.
ReplyDeleteHey Syd,
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better pronto, and I am so glad you are taking care of yourself so you can heal. I enjoy reading your blog daily. Your words have meant alot to me on so many occasions - too many to count. I have linked you and given your blog an award on my blog, so I invite you to check out your award!
Get well soon,
Namaste,
Terre
get well soon. stay strong
ReplyDeletehopefully a bit of rest and a well made amends will help your energy return Syd :-)
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a terrific weekend. Enjoy the oysters.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend and feel better.
ReplyDeleteNot a bit!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the oyster roast. I hope you feel well enough to participate. I, too, am under the weather.
ReplyDelete