Sunday, January 3, 2010
Who I Am
Annette asked me in a comment on this blog, "Who are you?". At first I was wondering why she would ask this. Why would this matter? I had to smile when she mused that I might be a famous writer. Thanks Annette--I wish!
When I started this blog, my intent was to remain anonymous. I have gradually revealed more about myself than intended, but that is what happens with writing. Eventually, with nearly 1000 posts, the essence of the person comes out. But through my writing and all of you with whom I connect, I found myself engrossed in a way that was very personal. At the same time, I haven't wanted to know more than what you yourself choose to reveal.
I listen to personal stories at meetings. I remember that my first story told at a meeting was raw. And it was met with skepticism and some scorn. This hurt but made me realize that there are places and people with whom to be totally honest, and there are other people and places where it is safer to hold back. I believe that a blog that is read by many and is wide open to the world is a good place to practice the principles of anonymity and restraint.
I am most grateful to read all that each of you share. Your writings are filled with hope, inspiration, and courage. For many of us, writing is cathartic. It is a way for me to tell my story about what the program of Al-Anon has meant to me. Many times, I think that it isn't really important who the messenger is; instead, it is the message that is most important.
I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. Gestalt prayer