Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Going back

I left early this morning to head back. This trip has included a nostalgic return to places where I was supremely happy in my youth. I wrote about going back to university and the feelings that generated.

As part of my visiting places along the route, I stopped to see the horse farm where I used to ride. I had a difficult time finding the place. Where there were farm fields that used to have white fences with honeysuckle and sleek thoroughbreds grazing, there were now large homes. These homes were of the "pretend" stately variety. And they were everywhere.

I finally stopped at the tiny post office to ask where the farm was. The post mistress told me that the historic farmhouse had burned. The owner never was the same after that and died. A new owner tore down the thoroughbred barn and the fences. The old hay barn was left to disrepair.  He bulldozed a lot of the land to flatten out the rolling hills and is going to develop the property.

I felt sick at heart. There were many happy memories there. What was once there is no longer. Thomas Wolfe wrote "You can't go home again". But I also like this from Sam Ewing, “When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood”.

Maybe that's where the sadness lies--recalling youthful times. But every day is a memory ready to be made. And years from now I may look back at this time of my life and say, "Remember that May when I went on my trip to old haunts and came back home to the island and one I love."  My program of recovery says that I won't regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. But I want to make some memories this day.

24 comments:

  1. Wow - I love that quote by Sam Ewing - and I also love your sentiment at the end.
    Have a safe drive home :)
    God bless.

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  2. That picture is gorgeous! Did you take it?

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  3. I like that, making memories each day now for some day in the future. Did you take this photo, if so, it is a great one.

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  4. I love the quote by Ewing. I also revisit my childhood spots when I'm in the area. I would also be sad to find they had plans to bulldoze a former home.

    They have bulldozed the movie theater I went to in junior high, and the field I used to play in is now condos. But I still have my memories.

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  5. Beautiful post and lovely photography. Your positive message inspires me to look for the good in my life. It's a nice slant. Thank you.

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  6. Bittersweet memories ... I've found that the memories are often much better than the actualities.
    I loved the quote from Sam Ewing. It is the childhood that I miss and I may not remember it in every last correct detail but I remember it as it comforts me.
    Thank you for sharing your journey.

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  7. Soulless people... they seem to make the world go around I'm afraid.
    Maybe it would be better if the world stopped spinning... then all the soulless ones might drift out into space...

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  8. I don't like it either, Syd, when developers pave over the countryside and put up estate homes. My sympathies for that. But you're right about the memories. We still have the ones we cherish, and we're busy making more.

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  9. Sometimes I have to be careful of nostalgia. I have a tendency to long for something that never was there to begin with.

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  10. Beautiful picture, Syd. And a fantastic quote by Sam Ewing. That's wonderful.

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  11. I love to drive by the old farm where I spent many summers as a child. I can understand your devastation at discovering urban sprawl in place of a lovely horse farm that holds such fond memories.

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  12. I do know the feeling, I'm glad the memories are there even if the town isn't the same, and I'm grateful for small glimpses of the past in others and their relations.

    :)

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  13. Glad you are looking forward as well as looking back. I can't spend too much time looking back - maybe it is the depressive in me.

    Did you get Ethiopian food while you were there?

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  14. excellent post

    and with all of the nostalgia and bittersweet feelings that go with it, our friend Dorothy put it best...

    "there's no place like home" (our current home, that is!)

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  15. With this trip riding on the heels of your 'leaving workment', it seems to me that in some ways you have gone full circle. Visiting the past is always different to our imaginings, but I think it can often lay some ghosts to rest. Perhaps it was just what you needed before embarking on the next new phase in you life. Best wishes.

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  16. Sorry to hear of the loss of the farm, Syd. What a shame.

    Safe travels,

    SB

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  17. Ahhhh, Syd! I can very much identify with the poignancy of your message; it truly is a bitter-sweet experience to visit 'back home.' One word jumped out at me while reading, and you used the word 'haunt.' I think this is a perfect description of the past mine, as well as yours - - -the ghosts of the past remain in place, just overlayed with change and progress, but still, nonetheless, ever hauntingly there. Thanks for taking me on this journey to the past - I am having mixed emotions of tears and laughter now at the memories you brought about.

    Hurry home!
    Hugs,
    Anonymous #1

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  18. The things we hold in our hearts are the most valuable of all.

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  19. Thanks, Syd. Really nice. I have a lot of the same feelings when I go back home. What I enjoy isn't so much what I see there now, but what it helps me remember from my childhood. Safe travels!

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  20. feeling the nostalgia today myself.

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  21. I recall going back to the lake with my dad when I was in my 20's, and the dock that was so huge when I was a child was teeny-tiny as an adult. It was startling.

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  22. I have found that when I return to places, they are not as grand as I thought they were when I was younger. But memories are powerful and even comforting. One place I remember so well is my grandparents house, I can even tell you what steps squeaked. I'm glad you were able to go back, and to look forward to being in the present with the one you love. Memories are made as we simply live life.

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  23. I loved that idea, it's not the home you miss, but your childhood. Sorry to hear what happened to the horse farms sweet friend. (Hugs)Indigo

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