Changed attitudes can aid recovery

I don't know what it is, but I feel content today.  I have enough of everything and feel centered within.  This must be one of the promises of recovery coming true. 

For me, a changed attitude is recovery. I don't feel miserable or like reacting to behaviors of others.  If I work the program, my life is more about acting on behalf of myself rather than reacting to the actions and behaviors of others. I can regard every day as a blank canvas on which I can begin painting again at any time.

I can see that by taking care of myself and not buying into what others are doing,  I have learned to be fairly happy on the inside.  I believe in the spiritual law that says : "When I change, those around me will either change or go away." I think that positive energy given out to the universe attracts positive energy in return.  Maybe my joie de vivre may be a bit much sometimes, but it is who I am.

This is a tough time of year for many.  I don't know why.  Maybe it is the expectations that are leading to disappointment and eventually to resentment.  I know about those things because I have felt them and not just at Christmas. It used to be an every day thing for me.  What a drag that was. 

Now I have the ability to see a different way to live. If others don't do as I would like, what good does it do for me to feel angry? I don't have to be around them unless I choose to.  Their being stuck in misery really has nothing to do with me.  

Here are a few things that I find to be particularly helpful in this journey of changed attitudes: 

• I keep practicing being positive, thinking each day about a few things for which I am grateful.
• Create a new reality based on the truths I've learned about myself and not what I think the truth of others might be. Others have their own truths. I have mine that comes from within and from the unconditional love and support of myHigher Power.  
• Being willing to try new experiences and risking what I used to think in exchange for a different set of principles that I have learned in recovery.  For me at least, this is how I learned what I liked and didn't, what I was deserving of and when I was taking less than what I deserved.
• To say what I mean, mean what I say and not say it mean.
• Not to stuff my feelings; let them flow through; process them; and then move on. The feelings won't kill me.  
• Not to cruelly punish others but to detach from them and yet still love them.  Retribution never did me any good. In fact, it made me feel miserable.
• Not sink their ship but don't try to keep it afloat.  Let them navigate their own route.  Maybe we will meet up again along the journey.
• Allow others the dignity to face their own consequences -- as it is of their own making.
• And most important put the focus back on myself. That is how I will keep a positive attitude going. If I look to other people to make me happy, I am going to be in a perpetual state of disappointment, anger, and frustration, and then look back and wonder where my life went.

Knowing my higher power is always there to ask for help as are those in this program is a very positive force in my life. So....even though I once wondered how people in Al-Anon ever got to that place of feeling serene with just an occasional slip, today I know or at least believe that a combination of what I've written above has brought me to that place too.

I am trying to look at life as one big ball of imperfect humanity of which I am a part. Working the program has helped me find humor in even the worst situations because .......well, there's no denying that some things are just funny (maybe a little more so when its over and I've gotten through it).

All I know is that building on the negativity and the miserable aspects of a situation only digs a deeper hole for me. Staying hopeful and looking to build on constructive possibilities, like what was learned from an uncomfortable experience, seems like a better bet than going into a downward spiral of self-pity. It doesn't mean I change the facts, it doesn't mean deciding everyone is a good person and not taking care of myself; rather, it means that I have an open mind when listening to others and that I ask my HP to help me identify my real feelings and to be true to myself.