Sunday, February 20, 2011

On the beach


I couldn't resist the photo of the old dog and me in front of the washed up TV. I actually don't watch much TV, only the occasional news program. I cannot tell you when I watched a TV series episode that wasn't about history or the weather. I do like movies though.

Last night I watched a movie about the friendship of two young boys in Nazi Germany. One was lonely and the son of a concentration camp commandant. The other was the son of a Jewish watchmaker. They were drawn together by their need for friendship. Two lonely children who found a bond in spite of their differences. That bond was stronger than the fence between them.

I find that one of the most precious things to me is true friendship. I have not been a good friend who keeps up with everyone. I have let people slip away in the past.

These days I have a few good friends in recovery who I can count on and who can count on me. Yet, I still have this urge to be solitary. I know that I have a tendency to isolate which isn't a good thing. I know that one of the ways to have friends is to be one. That is something that I am mindful of now more than ever. And I work to nurture the friendships that I have.

17 comments:

  1. Hi, Syd. You sound alot like my husband.

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  2. I definitely isolate more than I should. I think a lot of it had to do with growing up with a disability. I have to make a tremendous effort to keep in touch with friends, but I think it's focal to growth and sobriety.

    Was the movie you saw, THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS? I've been wanting to watch it but fear it might be too heartrendering. (Hugs)Indigo

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  3. i def think its a balance...we need others around us to challenge us and to just have fun but we do need those solitary times as well...a true friend is hard to find....

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  4. It's a fine line. But the balance is worth it.

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  5. Hi Syd,
    Just stopped by to tell you how much I appreciate your support all the time. I really get the urge to isolate and spend a lot of time by yourself. I go in spurts, but being around the ones I love reminds me how to live for more than just me. Ya know?
    ~Sarah

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  6. Hi Syd,
    We have loads of abandoned TV's in our city, some are the size of a small dog house. They might end up in a dump or back to China to melt for their metals. The program has helped me realize I feel sometimes that I am enough and dont need the newest, largest, flat screen that just arrived. Being comfortable with D helps the planet not having to buy and then dump.

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  7. i too like being alone. sometimes too much. good of you to remind me that friends are important too...

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  8. I understand the isolation part, yet I'm learning how to overcome that to find more fulfillment. Yesterday I spent four hours in a somewhat empty restaurant talking to a girl friend. That was great.

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  9. I have that same difficulty. I have great friends, but sometimes I forget that I'm to be a friend among friends and begin to pull back. Solitude is great as far as it carries us, but community is necessary to survival :)

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  10. Interesting to look at the same thing from a different perspective. Hubby and I are so much alike in major ways; no TV, love of music and reading, each in recovery in different programs, both living in social security and don't work, and lots more. I feel that each day goes by so quickly. We each stay busy with our own interests and yet we spend a great deal of each day doing things together, whether it is house chores or watching a movie or exercise. The only time we are around other people is when we go to the grocery store or to a doctor appointment which is rare. I don't feel isolated at all. Or lonely. I felt lonely and sad in the past in other relationships. Now I am busy and productive and happy. Just saying.

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  11. I love the photo, buddy. Great stuff!

    Love you.

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  12. Isolation is my default mode. I have to remind myself to reach out.

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  13. You are not alone. Some days I think I'm way too confortable being by myself. I solate easy. AA has taught me to step out of that comfort zone and that as an addict I need to reach out to others so I do not carry my disease alone. Good posting....

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  14. I have found for myself that I am usually the person that reaches out and maintains the relationship. This has caused me some resentments in the past so I stopped making that effort in those relationships. I let them go I guess. I realized they had the same ability to pick up the phone as I did. So I stopped beating myself up about it. This is a pattern I am trying to change the one sided relationship.

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  15. As long as you aren't hurting others, do what comes naturally and makes you feel at peace.

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.