I realize that a kind of reconstituting of self is needed during stressful times. One of the men I sponsor asked me what I was going to do for myself today. I knew that I would go to the boat if I had time.
I do believe that there are those who enjoy care taking. Having errands to run every day seems so easy. Yet, it is not. I have become accustomed to having free time. And lately I have longed for the care free days.
I am mindful of those who don't have the level of freedom that I do. Many are trapped with failing bodies, have family needs, work at demanding jobs. I know that my spirit craves freedom. So much of what brings joy and peace in my life is unscheduled time.
My sponsor has said I am a free spirit. And I think that I finally have become one. It has taken me years to feel free inside. At last, I realize how important it is to not stifle those feelings. I empathize with those who are trapped in body and spirit. I realize that how I spend my time now is about balance. I can do for others and yet not take over. I have a responsibility to make careful choices not just about my attitudes and approach to life, but how I spend my time. Choices and balance do bring peace.