Friday, July 29, 2011

Just stuff




It has been a hot day but a good one. I had lunch with an Al-Anon friend, a long-timer who has agreed to be a co-sponsor. My sponsor will be moving far away in the not too distant future. He will be my sponsor and friend no matter what. I do feel a need to have a local sponsor as well though. I am fortunate to have both of these people in my life.

Last night I visited a fellow I know who has a sailboat at the marina. He was drunk and obnoxious. I needed to get off his boat and leave. Instead, I listened to his rantings on everything from quantum physics, to his defense of medical doctors who have so much stress that they become addicts. None of his arguments made sense. Eventually, he ranted on politics. When he told me that all government workers were worthless, I made my leave. He knew that I worked at a state research institute. I find it useless to reason with a drunk. It's insanity to even try to get a word in. He followed me, telling me how he was sorry. When he hugged, kissed me on the cheek, and got down to kiss my feet, I said, "For God's sake, man, enough." I wasn't angry but knew that I needed to get far away. There is nothing he has that I want. I see avoidance of him now is necessary. Polite hello's are okay but no more socializing.

I left today on the boat. It is breezy and comfortable tonight. I am glad to be away from the marina. This is my element--quiet lapping of waves, dolphins swimming by, and solitude. I am restoring myself. And I feel happy.

Have a good Friday evening.

14 comments:

  1. That marina of yours seems to attract a lot of drunks. Or maybe they just like the water, like everyone else..:)

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  2. yeah i think you will be fine in the avoiding...hope you enjoy the trip on the boat man...

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  3. In my past life I had a boat and kept it at a marina. There were so many party people who owned boats. Good for you to know what is healthy for you and to keep distance with someone who drinks to be drunk. He can do that by himself.

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  4. I love reading you when you're enacting detachment... thanks, Syd. Enjoy the dolphins.

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  5. Oh, geez, Syd. That both brought back memories and creeped me out. The whole getting down to kiss your feet thing...typical drunk behavior. Was he wailing, "I LOVE YOU, MAN!" as well??

    I'm sorry. I shouldn't poke fun. That was me at one point, too.

    Good call on the avoidance.

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  6. Yeah, he needs to find a group that is in the same frame of mind as he is.
    Enjoy your weekend Mr. Retired Man.

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  7. wow, how this bought back memories of dealing with drunks. So good to know what our personal boundaries are and that we can enforce them. Good for you...self care is always impressive. Enjoy your tranquility!

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  8. We have a girl in our area who is brand new to AA. She tried to dominate a meeting recently by berating us all for our lack of concern about her drunk friend. It was sad to see that she could not understand what "enabling" was all about. She stormed out to "go save her" and I wonder if we will ever see her or her friend again.

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  9. yeh i find obnoxious bullies feel safe around reasonable people. ive done that.. got up to leave bc they are ranting, and then get the tearful apologies in the same breath. weird. alkys are soo lonely. they desperately crave an audience for their pain.
    ick

    yep u and this guy are not socially matched at ALL. drunk people are easier. its the sober obnoxious bullies that are harder to walk away from.. but yep drunk people are a sort of pantomime. yuk. not fun to be around..

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  10. Isn't the truth? The drunker they get the smarter they think they are. Yeah, you gotta walk away from that stuff.

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  11. I would have been off the boat as soon as he started with quantum physics.

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  12. This reminded me of too many evenings spent listening to my first husband and his friends in their drunken ranting. I'm grateful I don't have to do that anymore.

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  13. Does drinking make people more obnoxious or do obnoxious people just like to drink.

    I don't listen to this kind of rants anymore. Everyone wants someone to blame for their unhappiness. It has got to be someone elses fault.

    Happiness is an inside job.

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  14. Toxic boater. Dolphins are much better company than drunks

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.