Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Believe it or not
Tonight was class which goes for about 3 hours. I am working on plotting a cruise around Vineyard Sound in MA. I enjoy doing the work, although it is tedious. I am sure that the exam is going to be difficult and will take a couple of weeks to complete.
I am hoping for cooler weather soon. It is still hot and humid here. This part of the coast seems to stay hot and humid until the latter part of September. But the fall garden plants are in at the seed store, so we will be putting the fall garden in this week. The first really fall day is going to bring a lot of joy to me. I have sweated and been out in the sun and heat most of the summer. I'm ready for a change.
C. and I are enjoying our morning walks together. This morning we decided to just stay in bed a bit longer and listen to the rain pouring outside. We talked about how damaging insulting words can be to those who have fragile self-esteem. Once the words are said, they are like a dart to the heart unless we can convince ourselves that what is being said is absurd and untrue. That's easier said than done for some of us. I know that words don't roll off me as easily as I would like them to. I mull them over, mostly taking to heart what people say, until I can start to repair my ego enough to know that I don't have to believe everything that I hear.
I see now how dangerous bullying really is. Those kids who believe what bullies say and don't stand up for themselves have a terrible time. Mental health is affected to the point of suicide. As adults, we can choose to not believe all that we hear. I have to say that to have such a strong positive affirmation of self takes a bit of work. As someone affected by alcoholism, I tend to believe what someone says about me, because I am my own worst critic. The negative voices that I heard growing up come back to tell me that I am still managing to make a mess of things.
I like to think of Sir Winston Churchill who seemed to have some great comebacks regardless of the situation. Whether insulted or not, he seemed fairly impervious as in this famous exchange:
Attending a party in London, Churchill once again was drunk and intoxicated. An obviously extremely astute woman from Parliament apparently was irritated by Churchill’s mannerisms. When she finally had enough, she came up to him and yelled: “Winston, you’re drunk!” He may have been drunk but that apparently didn’t affect his cognitive functions as he merely replied:
“You’re right Bessie, and you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober.”
Ballsy fellow, Sir Winston. I think of these things after the fact. But even if I could summon up some witty remark, I don't see what is to be gained by reciprocating the tit-for-tat interchange. Best to just mind my business and move past all the drama. Much like leaving the field of battle, it seems better to not take everything that I hear as being the truth.
Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul. ~ Walt Whitman