It is so hard for people to believe in themselves, even though others believe in them. It is difficult to trust your abilities when you have been told that you don't have any. It is impossible to have successes when all you have felt is that you are a failure.
Last night, I went to hear a lecture given by a friend of mine who has been sober for 20 years. He hasn't had a drink but has difficulty practicing the principles in his life. His ADHD is part of the problem. Let's just say that the combination of ADHD and alcoholism makes for some difficult times.
He was asked to give a couple of lectures on marine diesel engines for a class being taught by one of the local marine groups. This fellow know a lot about engines and is an excellent mechanic. He agreed to do the lectures, but yesterday he flew into a rage about the lectures. He said that he couldn't possibly get up in front of others and talk, he knew nothing about engines--he was filled with fear and anxiety. I talked to him, offering up words of encouragement and said that I would go with him to the class.
Well, he gave one of the best lectures I have heard. His explanations were excellent, his practical experiences were not only funny but informative. He is a natural teacher and speaker. He got a round of applause and a lot of good questions. Students stayed after class to talk to him. The instructor told him that he learned a lot that he didn't know and asked him to go out after the class for dinner. In short, he was a big success.
It made me feel good that my friend had a much needed boost to his self-esteem. He needed something that was a success. I see how the lost years of his youth due to drinking alcoholically left him unskilled and uneducated. But his intelligence comes through. I think that each of us needs to have someone who believes in us, someone who encourages instead of criticizes, and someone who celebrates those moments when success lifts our heart.
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success. ~ Anon.