Monday, January 16, 2012

Help me to.....

The luncheon yesterday for my father-in-law's 91st birthday was nice.  It's amazing that in just a few short weeks, he is now walking normally.  After he got out of the hospital and physical rehab last time, he could not straighten out his legs.  His memory is amazing, and he is very sharp mentally.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, says some outlandish things which actually turn out to be funny.  She had us and the caregivers in stitches with her comments that came out of left field.  I'm not sure that all of it is real, because one moment she can hear things perfectly well and make total sense and the next minute she can't hear and says things that are totally out of context.  But nonetheless, she laughs about it all.  Here are some of the funny things she said:

"I have selective hearing and sift through what I want to hear.  Sometimes my sifting needs some work around certain people."

"If you aren't good, I'm going to pull your toenails out."

"I want to go home and if you don't let me, I'm going to have to get my gun."

"I remember giving birth to both of you and you were a pain."

Actually, most of this makes perfect sense to me.  Being around them now that all the pretenses have been dropped has helped me to see them in a new light.

Tonight, my home group meets.  We are celebrating the 21st. anniversary of one of the members.  That's a long time.  Here is what the card says:

Help me to.......
Cultivate the habit of happiness.
Believe that I am good. 
Appreciate the wonders of life. 
Nurture my emotional and spiritual growth.
Say good-bye to the past. 
Give myself credit for what I have to offer.
Make enthusiasm a daily exercise.
Let love change the course of my world.

Every day, something new comes up that helps me to see life a bit clearer.  All the agonizing over so much minor stuff when I was younger, when I began my career, when we were first married--it all comes down to being real and authentic in life now.  And if that means that I don't meet the expectations of others as to how I "should" be, then so be it.  As long as I can be my authentic self, with full recognition of my own shortcomings, then I am okay. 


  1. Old age can lead to some funny stuff, can't it? My mother says things that make me cringe and make me laugh, both at the same time. Which is practice for not feeling responsible for the actions of others. I guess.
    Glad the birthday went so well.

  2. Every day something comes up that helps me see clearer too. Often times I'll read it right here. Thanks for sharing today, just what I needed to hear.

  3. Last night I attended a meeting. The Chair was a wonderful woman in her 80's. She started by letting everyone know she was having short term memory issues and asked for help so she wouldn't repeat. At the beginning of the meeting she did repeat herself a bit, so we offered help. I think that helped her as from that point on it was an excellent meeting focusing on literature. It's amazing to me how elderly people can have a great attitude about these changes and remain a gift to the rest of us.

  4. smiles...yes i think it does allow that....some of these are pretty funny...and learning to accept our own shortcomings is a huge step toward wisdom...

  5. Yeah, that all sounds about right. lol

    Living a life where you are authentic to yourself is one of the great discoveries in getting older. All of our experiences prior to our middle years lead us to that place...I am hoping that my kids can learn a little bit of that from watching the choices I make today.

  6. Your FIL's recovery is amazing. I'm glad to hear it, and you MIL is hilarious. It sounds like a good life you have there, Syd. Just for today.

  7. your humility is wonderful Syd... thanks for sharing :-)

  8. I say the craziest things to my son (on purpose - to shock him and make him laugh) and think that's my role....heh.

    But I'm only 56.

    This is a very different perspective. I hope I don't get crazier. LOL.

  9. My dad would have been 86 this year.It would have been interesting to see what he would have been like.

  10. Love the gun comment. Priceless!!

  11. I'm sustained by the bravery and laughter of imperfect people, who show me time and again that grit and grace together can get us through most anything, one day at a time.

  12. I think I'm in love with your mother-in-law. Wanna trade?

  13. Thank you for sharing your mother-in-law quotes... A good laugh, but agree it does make sense. I grew up hearing my Dad said my sister and I have selected hearing... we heard what we wanted. I like the sifting portion. HA!

    I was planning on blogging later about happiness. Funny the continued messages that cross my path this week are tied to that. Thank you for sharing the card, it was perfect.

    Have a great meeting!

  14. I loved that verse on the card. I am going to print it out and put it where I can see it everyday...

  15. Your mil is priceless. I'm planning a visit to my mom and dad next week. Mom is starting to lose her marbles. This post gave me the courage to go down and ENJOY them. LOVE the card. I'm going to copy it, as well.

  16. Thanks for this post and your blog Syd. I am struggling with horrible anxiety today and your blog has been a blessing. I so appreciate the time you put into writing and keeping up with us.

  17. Love the sentiments on the card. I'm glad your family is doing well.


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