Awoke to brisk weather and a head cold. Not the way that I wanted to start the day, but I can tell that I have been invaded by something that will sap a bit of energy for a few days. My head feels heavy, but my spirit feels good.
Yesterday's meeting topic was on fear. That one word seems to sum up so much of what is at the root of the human psyche. What do I fear? Less and less. I have written so much about this trait that seems to come in and undermine living. I still have the abandonment issues, but I am moving through those by realizing that I will deal with things as they come. No sense in following the old slogan of F*#k Everything and Run. We can only run on far, until we are brought down by those jackals of fear.
There is a lot to fear in this world: bad people, bad economy, wars, famine, death, sickness--the list is long. But at this moment on this day, I have little to fear. There are so many things that I am powerless over. Inviting them into my mind is pointless. All I can do is be aware, accept and take action on those things that I can change.
A newcomer to Al-Anon was sobbing because her husband is an alcoholic who is verbally and emotionally abusive. I could sense the people in the room collectively sigh, breathing out empathy for this lady who faced her fear and came in. Face Everything and Recover is what we are doing. It takes time, but I could see the hope in her face as we each told her how glad we were that she was here.
She fears reprisal for being at a meeting, that her husband will yell at her, that he will be drunk, that she will never be happy. All these things may happen, but there are other options, other plans that can be made to keep the focus on positive action.
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. ~ John Lennon
What are your fears today? Are you avoiding them, putting them off with denial? Or are you facing them and realizing that there is power in self-awareness?