Saturday, February 25, 2012

What do you fear?

Awoke to brisk weather and a head cold.  Not the way that I wanted to start the day, but I can tell that I have been invaded by something that will sap a bit of energy for a few days.  My head feels heavy, but my spirit feels good.

Yesterday's meeting topic was on fear.  That one word seems to sum up so much of what is at the root of the human psyche.  What do I fear? Less and less.  I have written so much about this trait that seems to come in and undermine living.  I still have the abandonment issues, but I am moving through those by realizing that I will deal with things as they come.  No sense in following the old slogan of F*#k Everything and Run.  We can only run on far, until we are brought down by those jackals of fear.

There is a lot to fear in this world: bad people, bad economy, wars, famine, death, sickness--the list is long.  But at this moment on this day,  I have little to fear.  There are so many things that I am powerless over. Inviting them into my mind is pointless. All I can do is be aware, accept and take action on those things that I can change.

A newcomer to Al-Anon was sobbing because her husband is an alcoholic who is verbally and emotionally abusive.  I could sense the people in the room collectively sigh, breathing out empathy for this lady who faced her fear and came in.  Face Everything and Recover is what we are doing.  It takes time, but I could see the hope in her face as we each told her how glad we were that she was here.

She fears reprisal for being at a meeting, that her husband will yell at her, that he will be drunk, that she will never be happy.  All these things may happen, but there are other options, other plans that can be made to keep the focus on positive action.

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.  ~ John Lennon

What are your fears today?  Are you avoiding them, putting them off with denial?  Or are you facing them and realizing that there is power in self-awareness? 


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  2. I admit that I don't really dwell on all those things going on out there in the world. It isn't a part of this moment I experiencing in my life. Can I do anything about it? Does my worrying help the situation?

    The only thing I can affect is this moment in my own life, what I a doing right now.

    When you described the woman in the meeting worried about what her husband would do it he found out about the meeting. I thought the same thing would happen if he didn't find out about the meeting. It is never about us.

  3. Couldn't agree more. It seems to me our government uses fear all the time in manipulating us. So do the marketplaces. So do the drug companies. And so on.
    I was reading that quote and thinking, Wow! Exactly! and then of course, it was written by John Lennon.
    Good post, Syd. Yes.

  4. man really like that lennon quote...probably my greatest fear is that something might happen to my family...irrational i know as i can not control all circumstances but...

    love the header shot too...that is sharp syd

  5. snakes, roller coasters, sharks, things that go bump in the night.

    I'm avoiding all of them.

  6. Love the new photo and the Lennon quote.
    I'm looking forward to taking my fears, one by one, and facing up to them. I'm feeling brave.

  7. I try so hard to come from a place of love. When I feel like I'm coming from a place of fear, I speak my fear out loud. It gives it substance and I can look at it more objectively. I'm glad your group is open to newcomers. She is in a tough place.

  8. Great topic, and one of my favorite quotes of all time. I love John.

  9. Thank God for groups like Alanon & others who help us learn to love ourselves & give us hope in a better future. For some of us, it's a long tough road to get there....but it helps to always remember "each day is a new beginning" & that my faith in love & hope is bigger & greater than any fear I hold on to. Let go...let God! Great pic of the boats!

  10. Great topic, thank you for sharing. I think most of my fears I try to suppress because I know some of them can be irrational. So, discussing my fears with others gets sort of pointless. I can recognize they are irrational though I have to say sometimes it doesn't take the anxiety of it all away and sometimes just a sentence a comment can bring up those fears again. I do my best to remind myself it's not true and move on.

  11. I love that you address the difference between denial of vs. facing our fear. I have spent my whole life thinking I was 'brave' & strong when really I was just battening down the hatches and ticking myself that I wasn't afraid. These last 2 years has been about HONESTY for me (even if it often isn't "pleasing" or pretty). Thanks for the share!

  12. I love that simple faith quenches horrific fear. Childlike faith in HP and goodness can wipe out fear. Having done a few 4th Steps in my time sober, everything seems to boil down to fear when you take shortcomings down to their roots.


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