Eternal student

I am home after taking my Seamanship exam.  I'm glad to be done with courses for a while.  I will have a few months off before I go to Sea School in the middle of June with the goal of getting my Captain's license.  I don't think that I will use the license in a professional capacity.  It's one of those bucket list things that I want to do.

I seem to be the eternal student of something.  I keep telling myself that I won't take another course and yet, after a few months, I'm ready to sign up again.  After Sea School, then I think that I will take a photography course or two.  Also, I want to become a vessel examiner.  Whew--lots of interests that seem to keep me studying something.  Maybe I am meant to be a jack of all trades or perhaps a dilettante.

One of the great things about having free time is that I get to explore new avenues of study.  I don't have to juggle so many commitments as when I was working full time.  I'm not sure that I have the drive anymore to put all the newly learned things towards a second career.  In fact, I can tell you that I don't have that drive.  I simply want to be learning these things because they interest me.

Next week, on Monday nights,  instead of going to a lecture, I'll be back at my home group meeting.  I have missed being away from the small group of friends that attend there.  I suppose that I will be an eternal student of Al-Anon as well. I keep going back for lots of reasons, not the least of which is my tendency to resort to old behavior patterns and ways of thinking.  It takes a while to change a lifetime of reacting to circumstances.  I am comfortable with the message, and no matter how hard I try to be perfect, I realize that this is one thing that I can't achieve through study.

“Be a Student of the Game. Like most cliches of sport, this is profound. You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail. This is hard." ~David Foster Wallace