Just for today neither of us talked about the dead or dying. It has felt like a near normal day. I did visit Pop and fed him some lunch, ice cream and a fruit cup. He ate with some enthusiasm, like a bird opening its mouth with each morsel coming near.
This coming week we will start the sad task of going through clothes and packing up Mom's personal items. Both my wife and I agree that we will take our time and not push ourselves. There is no immediacy really.
I heard from my cousin's wife that he is still in ICU with a ventilator and feeding tube. She said that he has a living will; but she is choosing to disregard it, convinced that he will become healed. I am sad that his wishes are ignored, and he basically is being kept alive until his brain is killed by the tumor. I suppose one has to make sure that the living will is ironclad and the person entrusted to carry it out will indeed do that. Once again, I have to let go of this situation.
Anyway, I hope that you are enjoying your Sunday. We have had a nice day.
Wheeeewwwww - - - I just finished reading your near-normal daily activity (blog) - and had to breathe a breath of fresh air for you!
ReplyDeletePeaceful resting to ya'll from
Anonymous #1
I'm so glad to hear you and C had an enjoyable day! Friday my husband drove an hour away to go to an old friends mothers wake. The first thing the friend said to my husband was, I am so sorry I was not there for you when your brother died. (My brother in law passed this last summer) I think people just don't know how to handle it when someone dies and so they choose to do nothing. Until you've gone thru it yourself you don't realize how much it means to someone to just show up and hug them. Losing someone who has been in your life is always difficult and to have the support of friends and loved ones means alot. Wishing you and C strength in the days ahead.
ReplyDelete"A change is as good as a rest" - often true. Glad you had a good day to recharge a bit.
ReplyDeleteIt is curious that your cousin's wife is able to override the living will. I didn't know that could be done.
I am glad that peace found you my wise friend.
ReplyDeletei imagine that day yesterday was good for you....and taking the day not talking of death...i will be glad when the going through is behind you as well...peace brother...
ReplyDeleteOh Syd. I have nothing more than that.
ReplyDeleteOh, Syd.
Good job taking of yourselves Syd. It sounds like a wonderful day. I am sorry about your cousin. It is so disrespectful imo to not the wishes of the dying. She must be very afraid to let him go.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a minute to get away on the boat. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Your family has been hit hard lately. I pray that things ease up and that y'all might have a bit more peace.
ReplyDeleteSimple gestures mean so much to me when I am ill.
ReplyDeleteNourishing Pop with food was a kind gesture, I appreciate your willingness to reach out to others. People are so scheduled in with activities, making a living, family and a variety of other things it's valuable to just spend time with someone.
“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” ~Theophrastus
I am happy for your wisdom in both of you taking time to just be where you are well and easily living.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you & your family.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you were able to take a break.
ReplyDeleteSyd, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, my heart is with you...
ReplyDeleteMy goodness syd you have a lot on your mind at the moment. I'm glad the boat was a restful refuge for you both. I do know that it takes a lot out of you processing the necessary feelings that arise. It would be easy to turn your back on Them. takes a great deal of compassion and courage to face them instead. But at the same time because it's so exhausting dealing with the stuff, you just need to go very easy on yourself at the same time. Your very good at having compassion for yourself, so I don't suspect you're going to force yourself to do things. I find it quite surprising how much grief drains one's energy. Not just the grieving but processing all the other uncomfortable emotions when you're around people who are very unconscious with their emotions. It's hard work. They are energy vampires. I'm sorry that people haven't been more supportive and as I've said before C is always welcome to speak to me if she wants to over the phone Or Skype or whatever. and if she doesn't want to that's fine too. my computer has been speeded up to unacceptable level which is why I'm catching up a bit late. go easy on yourselves in the meantime and thanks for the lovely posts as usual..
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me how some family members interject their will in opposition to the dying person's wishes. I have promises from my children that they will not do this !!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you had at least one peaceful day. Hugs.